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Quotes tagged “joke”
Kelly: Did you just Yoda quote me?”
Eli: In here I can. It's your trip, Jefe.
Ash: Nice, you know I've always wanted to talk to you. Uh, just don't mention the stuff I do in the trailer when we're there alone.
Ash: All right then.”
Ash: Good, check the old prostate while you're in there?”
Suzy: Well, just try to get everything back to normal.
Ash: Normal? Ha. What's normal?
Suzy: Family, work.
Ash: Work? Work, where?
Suzy: Oh, I'm an English teacher.
Ash: What grade?
Ash: What's your favorite book?
Suzy: 'The Old Man and the Sea.'
Ash: Oh, so you like fishing.
Mr. Maxwell: I like fishing!
Ash: This ain't about you, dad!”
Ash: Okay, wait. Another wooden hand in place of my real hand, or another wooden hand in place of my wooden hand?
Kelly: Your real hand!”
Pablo: She's very attractive, I know. Hey, I try not to look at her like that.
Ash: That must be difficult.
Pablo: It is. She haunts my dreams. Just kidding. She does, though.”
Wednesday: Well, when will you know for sure?”
Shadow: Sorry, no. You're just the first person I talked to that wasn't an asshole.
Wednesday: Give me time.”
Captain Flint: So do I.”
Jamie: Or else what?
Claire: Or else I'll follow you and drag you back by your long red curls. And you won't like it one bit.
Jamie: No, I'm sure I wouldna like it.”
Ian: Well, if you're going to hell... I might as well go, too. God knows you'll never manage alone.”
Jenny: Alright. But, you'll be fetching me a good stiff dram before we start.
Claire: In that case, the baby will likely be drunk, too.
Jenny: Then he'll come into the world a true Scot.”
Claire: You've had enough. You need liquids. Water or broth.
Jamie: Whisky's a liquid, no?
Rupert: Lasses say that to me all the time”
Claire: Christmas. I don't suppose you hang stockings by the fire.
Jamie: To dry them off, you mean?
Jamie: I said I was a virgin, not a monk.”
About The Authors
This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.
Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.
Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.