“The cursed thing will still make you feel uncomfortable, but not necessarily nauseous; disturbed, but in a way that’s more uncanny than upsetting.”— Sangeeta Singh-Kurtz, The Cut, thecut.com
“I was hoping puberty would do a better job, but no. Puberty did a good job with you. You used to be really awkward to look at.”— Josh Thomas, Josh, Josh Thomas, imdb.com
“Maeve Wiley: Nice helmet. Otis Milburn: It's just, safety first.”— Laurie Nunn, Otis Milburn, Asa Butterfield, imdb.com
“Maeve Wiley: What the hell did you do? Otis Milburn: Um... I might have said something about chinchillas giving blow jobs.”— Laurie Nunn, Otis Milburn, Asa Butterfield, imdb.com
“Eric Effoing: He still calls me 'Tromboner.' It's been four years. Four years! Otis Milburn: You did get an erection on stage, in front of the entire school. Eric Effoing: It was a semi!”— Laurie Nunn, Eric Effoing, Ncuti Gatwa, imdb.com
“But now he thought we were on a date. Because, technically, we were.”— Caroline Donofrio, cupofjo.com
“Blast from the past, how's that ass?”— Danielle Sanchez-Witzel, Noah Garfinkel, Sophia Lear, Jessica "Jess" Day, Zooey Deschanel, imdb.com
“There’s an old saying that chance makes our relatives, but choice makes our friends. Sometimes, it can even make both.”— Liane Kupferberg Carter, thecut.com
“Ms. Benitez: Oh! Steve! Look at you all dressed up. Coach Steve: Well, it’s a special day! Ms. Benitez: And you’re a special guy. Coach Steve: And I’d kill anyone for you! Ms. Benitez: Well, that’s not necessary… Coach Steve: Oh, that’s a relief, because I’d do it, but it would weigh on me.”— Kelly Galuska, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com
“I gotta be honest with you. I know I seem like a real gigolo, but actually I’m a little nervous because I’m a total virgin.”— Joe Wengert, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com
“Coach Steve: I feel kind of nervous, you know? I’m just a little fuzzy on the details. Hormone Monster: Come on, you got it baby. Coach Steve: I think I put my pener in her sweetie? Hormone Monster: That’s it, man! Your penner is a choo-choo train and her sweetie is a townie.”— Joe Wengert, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com
“Shame Wizard: You truly are an enigma. Coach Steve: You're not supposed to say that word anymore.”— Joe Wengert, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com
“My ex is meeting my sex. Which is always scary, you know? And not just because you think they might talk about your penis. That's just part of it.”— Mindy Kaling, Andy Bernard, Ed Helms, imdb.com
“Ryan Howard: I'd like to make a toast: to the troops. All the troops. Both sides. Party guest: That's weird.”— Justin Spitzer, Ryan Howard, B.J. Novak,, imdb.com
“There's this thing that people tend to do with billboards. How do I put this? If there's an opportunity for a graffiti artist to work in a... phallic shape, interacting with the artwork, it'll happen, and Andy gave them that opportunity.”— Justin Spitzer, Jim Halpert, John Krasinski, imdb.com
“I am a huge Woody Allen fan. Although I've only seen 'Antz.' But I'll tell you something, what I respect about that man is that when he was going through all of that stuff that came out in the press, about how 'Antz' was just a ripoff of 'A Bug's Life,' he stayed true to his films. Or at least the f…”— B.J. Novak,, Michael Scott, Steve Carell, imdb.com
“Pam Beesly: Here's the story, that guy in there is Jim's childhood friend, Tom. Jim Halpert: Tom Matoshkin, one of my best buddies, actually. Pam Beesly: And when they were both in the third grade, Jim was placed in the top reading group. Jim Halpert: It was blue group, so it was second from the top…”— Steve Hely, Jim Halpert, John Krasinski, imdb.com
“Pam Beesly: Cece's getting christened today. Jim Halpert: Big day. Pam Beesly: Everyone from work is here. We weren't planning on that. Jim Halpert: Nope.”— Peter Ocko, Pam Halpert, Jenna Fischer, imdb.com