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Chances are your dating life is dominated by dating apps, some good, some horrifyingly bad and full of dick pics. Use one of the core tenets of the KonMari method of tidying up and ask yourself: Does this app truly bring me joy? Have I found any promising leads on it or has swiping through its endless deck of cocky finance bros left me utterly joyless?

— Brittany Wong, This Is How To Tidy Up Your Dating Life, Marie Kondo Style

Marie Kondo dating apps

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Squirrels, though, are right there with us. They live on our level and toil on the same schedule as humans, in every season.

— Avi Steinberg, Letter of Recommendation For Squirrels

LOL humor Squirrels Nature Animals

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In other words, thanks to this meme, there’s now a very large dataset of carefully curated photos of people from roughly 10 years ago and now.

— Kate O'Neill, Facebook's '10 Year Challenge' Is Just a Harmless Meme—Right?

Facebook Digital Trends Memes 10 Year Challenge AI Facial Recognition

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This story isn’t interesting or unique. I guess it just reminded me that sex is weird and funny and two people trying to connect with no chemistry is so cringe-inducing it’s almost freeing and sweet.

— Ryan O’Connell, Where The (Teddy) Bears Are

Sex hookups dating apps Random Hookups

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Facebook and Instagram advertising is now the worst kept secret in marketing. The increase in costs has affected order economics to the point that it’s harder for new brands to break in. DTC brands are spending more money offline so we’re bringing more and more of our budget offline. It’s about brand identity. You don’t interact with the legacy brands in just one medium so increasingly, I don’t want to be known as a Facebook brand or a digital disruptor.

— Luke Droulez, Parachute's Luke Droulez: I don't want to be known as a Facebook brand

Media Cliff Notes Direct To Consumer

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Firstly, it’s not change for the sake of change. That said, change is inevitable, and something to be embraced, etc. etc., but that’s not a good enough reason to change a logo. A good reason to change a logo is that it’s not doing the job you want it to do—and because a simpler, more distinctive evolution of it could do that job better.

— Slack Team, Slack Just Updated Their Logo

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Throughout its first season, Sex Education proves that it doesn’t only want its female characters (and viewers) to feel ownership over their bodies — it also wants teenage girls to take pride in enjoying sex and feeling pleasure.

— Isabella Gomez, From Masturbation To Nude Photos 'Sex Education' Makes Female Pleasure A Main Priority

Sex Female Pleasure masturbation

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Be a question mark. Take up space, own your lost, confused feelings, and forget your slideshow and your prepared comments. Listen instead. Own where you are, and then make more room for where other people are. When you’re undecided and wishy-washy, that’s a very good time to recede into the background slightly and train your focus on others.

— Heather Havrilesky, ‘How Do I Decide What to Do With My Life?’

Question Mark Uncertainty

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I've never been a kiss up. It's just not how I operate. I mean I've always subscribed to the idea that if you really want to impress your boss, you go in there and you do mediocre work, half-heartedly.

— Jim Halpert (John Krasinski), The Office, Season 5: Dream Team

Kiss Up Hardly Working How to impress your boss

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I am about to do something very bold in this job that I've never done before... try.

— Jim Halpert (John Krasinski), The Office, Season 4: Job Fair

Working Hard Hardly Working Jobs

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Within 48 hours of announcing Barstool Gold, the company had more than 10,000 sign-ups to the product. Eighty-one percent of those sign-ups were for the annual membership, which is priced at $100 and equals the $2-per-week tier.

— Erika Nardini, Barstool Sports gets 10k paying subscribers in three days

Media Cliff Notes Barstool Sports Direct To Consumer

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I miss Dwight. Congratulations, universe. You win.

— Jim Halpert (John Krasinski), The Office, Season 3: The Return

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Jim: Say that we're the tour managers for Justin Bieber, and we're giving away free tickets.

Dwight: Who is Justice Beaver?

Jim: He...is a crime-fighting beaver.

— Jim Halpert (John Krasinski), The Office, Season 7: Todd Packer

Justin Bieber Fighting Crime

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I think it's great that the company's making a commercial, because not very many people have heard of us. I mean, when I tell people I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers or muffins or mittens or...and frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.

— Jim Halpert (John Krasinski), The Office, Season 4: Local Ad

Dunder Mifflin Paper company Commercials

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In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.

— Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 7: Classy Christmas (1)

Merry Christmas Christmas Fear

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Michael always says, 'K-I-S-S, keep it simple, stupid.' Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.

— Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 3: Initiation

Advice hurts my feelings

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You're a perfectly fine toilet... I'm just an extraordinary piece of crap.

— Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 8: Trivia

is this a compliment?Piece of Shit

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In the modern pop-culture tradition, being a musician has often come with a series of default lifestyle expectations, ones of indulgence and recklessness, larger-than-life living, and a diligent pursuit of altered forms of consciousness.

— Chris Heath, 9 Musicians Reveal How They Thrive Creatively Without Drugs Or Booze

Creatives Addiction Musicians

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Ryan: Did you see Saw?

Dwight: Of course I see-saw. Mose and I see-saw all the time.

Ryan: No, uh, the movie. Did you see, the movie Saw.

Dwight: Oh. Yeah. Great film. Almost as fun as going on a see-saw.

— Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 6: The Manager and the Salesman

saw Saw The Movie

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I'm gonna intimidate him, ok? Watch this....So anyways, she said that is the biggest penis I have ever scene and I said I know! That's why I brought you to the penis museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars.

— Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 7: The Sting

Intimidating Men Intimidation

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We like giving to each other, whether or not it really works. A dyed-in-the-wool conservative hostile to the very idea of universal health care — “because why should I pay for someone else’s treatment” — seems to have no problem throwing 50 bucks to a co-worker’s aunt who can’t afford chemotherapy. Hell, some Trump voters with “TAXATION IS THEFT” bumper stickers on their cars probably chipped in for a harebrained scheme to fund the wall, which drew $20 million in contributions before collapsing.

— Miles Klee, Want Proof Americans Secretly Love Socialism? Look at GoFundMe - MEL Magazine

Socialism GoFundMe Money

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My personal experience grappling with these questions is limited, but during the four years when my current boyfriend and I were broken up, I remember swallowing jealousy the size of a softball at the mere thought of him being with someone else, much less posting about it on Instagram. Then again, I never seriously dated anyone else in that interim period, nor did I (at the time) achieve the worthy goal of learning how to be truly content on my own.

— Harling Ross, If You’re Not “Happy” for Your Ex, Have You Really Moved On?

Breaking Up Jealousy

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We’re fascinated by imposters and I think part of it is because we want to know how they did it and part of it is also we want to learn how they did it so we can protect ourselves. And part of it is we envy them in a weird way, or we’re admiring of them.

— Abby Ellin, What If Your Entire Relationship Was a Lie?

Relationships & Dating Scams liars

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Michael is like Mozart, and I’m like Butch Cassidy. You mess with Mozart and you’re gonna get bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

— Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 2: Office Olympics

Mozart Butch Cassidy

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A real man swallows his vomit when a lady is present.

— Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 8: After Hours

What Makes a real man?Real Men Do This

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Featured Posts

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Patrick Algrim

Patrick Algrim

Singular being.

Chris Lavergne

Chris Lavergne

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Illustrator, designer, and all-around creative rover for Thought Catalog

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Quote Pictures

It's ok. Sarah Lynn, you are calm, you are thin. Your skin is so soft it's like you murdered a baby and stole its skin. Your skin is murdered baby soft.

You know, sometimes I think I was born with a leak, and any goodness I started with just slowly spilled out of me and now its all gone. And I'll never get it back in me. It's too late. Life is a series of closing doors, isn't it?

If every mountain overlooked a parallel scene, if every flower bloomed in uninspired ways, the Earth would not steal us of our breath. Use this as a lesson. Your eyes, your hands, your marvelous smile – those are all your unique contribution to the matchless beauty of nature. You are a stunning rarity; you don’t need to be fixed.

Embrace the true essence of Christmas - by embracing the gift and essence of life, itself.

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