Ash: It's good to be back. Pablo: How does it feel? Ash: Groovy.
Catalog
Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams
Pablo: You fought this thing before. Maybe you just got to finish what you started. Ash: You listen to me. Whatever I was, that was a long time ago. Let it choose somebody else now. Me, I'm cutting out! Pablo: You can't outrun evil, Ash! Ash: Watch me!
Kelly: You know they were Jewish, right? Ash: I-I did not. Wish you could have said somethin' before I made those dumb crosses, but, okay.
Suzy: Evil will walk the Earth! Ash: Yeah, well, your cooking was shit.
Ash: Well, now that you're back, what's your big plan? Suzy: Well, just try to get everything back to normal. Ash: Normal? Ha. What's normal? Suzy: Family, work. Ash: Work? Work, where? Suzy: Oh, I'm an English teacher. Ash: What grade? Suzy: Tenth. Ash: What's your favorite book? Suzy: 'The Old Man…
Yeah, I remember when I was like you. Young, dumb, full of... conflicting emotions.
Ash: Pablo, focus up! Just stay behind me. Let the boomstick do the talkin'. Things get hairy, use your bottle. Pablo Bolivar: Um, I don't think it's a very good weapon, Jefe. You had to stab Roper like 50 times. Ash: Hey, I was sharpening it for you.
Pablo: Um, but reading from the book is what caused all this trouble to begin with, so... Ash: Yeah, that's true, but reading from it again can't make things any worse. It's kinda like spilling paint on a painting. It's okay 'cause there's already paint on it. Pablo: That is incorrect.
Ash: Lionel, you find a wimpy demon yet? Lionel: Uh, nothing that says wimpy specifically, but I have found a-a minor demon named Eligos. Possesses knowledge of hidden things, a-a demon of the mindscape. Ash: Well, perfect. Sounds like a total nerd.
Hey listen, if it's cool, I just wanna sit here and enjoy this place for a while. I've always wanted to spend time in 'The City So Nice, They Named It Jacksonville.'
Ash: Eli! You can speak?! Eli: In here I can. It's your trip, Jefe. Ash: Nice, you know I've always wanted to talk to you. Uh, just don't mention the stuff I do in the trailer when we're there alone. Eli: Never. Ash: All right then.
Brujo: Come, I'll look inside of you. Ash: Good, check the old prostate while you're in there?
Oh, you need my help? Ok, first of all, screw you and your ugly ass kids.
Demon: Your truce is over, Ashy Slashy! Ash: What'd you call me? Demon: Ashy Slashy, hatchet and saw, takes your head and skins you raw! Ashy Slashy, heaven or hell, cuts out your tongue so you can't yell...
Ladies, I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm not drunk enough to know if this is good weird or bad weird, but I'll get there though!