Fuck with my Pablo, fuck with me. And I am done being fucked with, Ruby.
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Ash vs Evil Dead
Bruce Campbell reprises his role as Ash Williams, an aging lothario and chainsaw-handed monster hunter who’s spent the last three decades avoiding maturity, and the terrors of the Evil Dead. But when a Deadite plague threatens to destroy all of mankind, h
Ashy-Slashy: Peek-a-boo! Kelly: What the fuck? Ashy-Slashy: Wanna play? Kelly: No. Ah, why am I talking to a Muppet? Ashy-Slashy: Muppet? Uh, well, you're awfully judgmental for a... Kelly: Hey! For a what? What were you gonna say, you little motherfuck? Sack up. What were you gonna say? Ashy-Slashy…
Baal: You defeat me, we accept exile from this realm... and your friend shall be returned. Ash: OK. You defeat me, I guess all kinds of bad crap's gonna happen for a long time. Got it.
— Luke Kalteux, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
Ruby: Look, we're going to find Baal. You're going to harness the power of that Book against him, and none of this is going to be in vain. Pablo: And you promise me that we're all going to live happily ever after? Ruby: Even if this goes perfectly, there's a good chance you'll die. Pablo: Wow. Ruby,…
Kelly: You okay? Pablo: No, I'm not. I got a really bad feeling about this. Kelly: Really, because I haven't had a good feeling since we met Ash, and his stupid book. Pablo: Exactly. The Book of the Dead never let's anybody off easy. It's like Ash said, everyone around him gets... dead. And now I am…
— Suzanne Keilly, Pablo Simon Bolivar, Ray Santiago, imdb.com
Well, Cheryl, it's been fun catching up. Sorry I got to kill you. Again.
— James Eagan, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
Ash: Kelly, what the hell did you do? Kelly: He was a demon. I had to kill him before he killed us! Ash: He's not a demon. He's Pablo! He was my friend! He was your friend too! Kelly: His name wasn't Pablo. It was Reg. Just like my name isn't Kelly, it's Amanda, you whack job!
Ash: Hate to rain on anybody's parade, but Cheryl, you're not supposed to be here. You died after you got branch-banged by a demon tree about 30 years ago. Cheryl: I died? Ash: Yeah, it was pretty horrific. You don't remember any of that? Cheryl: Seems like the kind of thing somebody would remember.…
— James Eagan, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
Chet: Dude, there's a chainsaw in my backseat. Ash: Yeah, that's mine. Chet: What's it for? Ash: Um... ice sculpture? Chet: Oh. And the shotgun? Ash: Uh, that's mine, too. Chet: What's that for? Ash: In case they don't pay for the ice sculpture.
— Ivan Raimi, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
Ash: Forget the stupid book. Chasing that thing is only going to give you a leg cramp. Ruby: You don't know what you're talking about. Ash: Oh, I don't? You're the one that grew up your entire life looking for that book, and you never found it. Me on the other hand, I can't fart without tripping ove…
— Noelle Valdivia, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
I'm gonna be like a ninja losing his virginity, quick and discreet.
— Cameron Welsh, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
Ash: Holy pickle dicks, it's Lillian Pendergrass! Kelly: What's a Lillian Pendergrass? Ash: That beautiful creature right there. I'd know that caboose from anywhere. Kelly: Are you having a stroke? Ash: Hey, you say that now, back in the day, Lillian Pendergrass was a smoking hot former gymnast turn…
Oh, you need my help? Ok, first of all, screw you and your ugly ass kids.
— Craig DiGregorio, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
Ash: Okay, look, there is no way in hell they're gonna stay here, 'cause they're gonna get possessed, then they're gonna be on the night train to Kill-adelphia. Kelly: With stops in Choke-lahoma City, and Die-ami. Ash: Nice. Kelly: I thought you'd like that.
Ash's Hand: Maybe I grew another hand, or maybe the hand grew another me. What's the difference, Amanda? What's important is I can give you everything you want, and I want you. Is that so bad? I mean come on, a minute ago, you wanted me, too. Amanda: Yeah, that's before I found out you were just som…
Demon: Your truce is over, Ashy Slashy! Ash: What'd you call me? Demon: Ashy Slashy, hatchet and saw, takes your head and skins you raw! Ashy Slashy, heaven or hell, cuts out your tongue so you can't yell...
— Craig DiGregorio, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
Ladies, I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm not drunk enough to know if this is good weird or bad weird, but I'll get there though!
— Craig DiGregorio, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
Don't you get it? Everybody dies here. It's just a rule. Death, taxes, more death, and I don't pay taxes. So all I know is death.
— M.J. Bassett, Ashley 'Ash' J. Williams, Bruce Campbell, imdb.com
Ash's Hand: Kelly, when you were in junior high school, you told me you busted a stained glass window of a church. Kelly Maxwell: By accident. Ash's Hand: Then you punched a nun in the face. Kelly Maxwell: She was being so dramatic about that stained glass, and she hit me first.
Militia: I'm gonna get you pregnant later. Kelly: Won't your sister be jealous of us?
— Ivan Raimi, Sean Clements, Dominic Dierkes, Kelly Maxwell, Dana DeLorenzo, imdb.com