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“Did you ever see a hearse go by and think that someday you'd surely die? They put you in a little box and cover you over with dirt and rocks.”
— 'Howling Mad' Murdock, The A-Team, Season 1: A Small and Deadly War
Tagged: Mortality, Hearse
“B.A.: We're offline Hannibal, all four mics are dead!

Hannibal: [from behind a newspaper] Looks like they found them.

Face: Great, that means we've lost the edge. Up against guys like these that, that doesn't make me feel too good.
[Murdock opens his mouth to say something]

B.A.: Shut up, Murdock! Shut up!... I told you this plan stinks!”
— 'Howling Mad' Murdock, The A-Team, Season 1: A Small and Deadly War
Tagged: plan, foiled
“There are 8,000 good guys on the force in this town. And I'm not going to let one crud like Stark muck it up for the rest of them.”
— Police Inspector Ed Maloney, The A-Team, Season 1: A Small and Deadly War
Tagged: Cops, Corruption
“[Murdock and Hannibal are seated in chairs will trash-bag balloons tied to them]
Hannibal: Murdock, how'd I let you talk me into this?

Murdock: I don't know, I have intermittent memory loss!
[Takes off over prison wall]”
— 'Howling Mad' Murdock, The A-Team, Season 1: Pros and Cons
Tagged: Memory loss
“Murdock: TRAAAAAASH BAGS! I want TRAAAAAASH BAGS! [gets one and stops shouting]

Psychiatrist: We give him one, and he shuts up for a couple of hours.

Face: Hmmm. Interesting. If I could talk to him, I might be able to determine if it's a genuine neurotic fixation or if our boy is trying to section eight his way into the soft walls of a prison psych ward.

Psychiatrist: I sure would appreciate that. None of us can get any sleep around here.”
— 'Howling Mad' Murdock, The A-Team, Season 1: Pros and Cons
Tagged: Mental Illness, neurotic
“Murdock: [from inside padded cell] TRAAAAASH BAGS! I want TRAAAAASH BAGS! I want 'em! I want 'em!!

Psychiatrist: [To guard] Do we have any trash bags? Maybe he'll put his head inside and suffocate.”
— 'Howling Mad' Murdock, The A-Team, Season 1: Pros and Cons
Tagged: padded cell, Psychiatry, Mental Illness
“[Murdock is being shown Rorschach ink blots by a prison psychiatrist. The first picture is a butterfly]
Murdock: Tractor.

Psychiatrist: You don't really see a tractor, do you, Murdock?

Murdock: [smiles] You're right. I was just guessing.

Psychiatrist: Well, don't guess. What does it look like?

Murdock: Ink. It looks like ink. See, I have done this most of my life off and on and I don't see nothin', so I just guess.

Psychiatrist: It looks like a butterfly, don't it? See, there's the wings and there's the head.

Murdock: Hey, yeah. Yeah! I see that. Yeah, it's a butterfly!

Psychiatrist: Good. Butterfly. Now what is this?
[Psychiatrist puts another picture on the table.]

Murdock: Garbage bag. Empty garbage bag.
[Psychiatrist rolls eyes and motions for the guard to take Murdock away.]

Murdock: I'd like a trash bag, please, if you have one. I really could use a trash bag.”
— 'Howling Mad' Murdock, The A-Team, Season 1: Pros and Cons
Tagged: Psychiatry, Rorschach tests
“We vote because I say we vote!”
— B.A. Baracus, The A-Team, Season 1: Pros and Cons
Tagged: voting
“[Face gets hit hard in the face]
Hannibal: [holds up three fingers] How many fingers am I holding up?

Face: Blue.”
— Stephen J. Cannell, The A-Team, Season 1: Children of Jamestown
Tagged: Assault, Concussion
“Martin James: The Lord shall test them! They shall walk through the valley of his wrath.

Hannibal: Now you're beginning to walk through the valley of my wrath, Preacher.”
— John 'Hannibal' Smith, The A-Team, Season 1: Children of Jamestown
Tagged: Wrath, Preacher, Annoying
“Amy: Why'd he [B.A.] hit you?

Hannibal: Hit me? If he hit me, I'd be in the hospital.”
— John 'Hannibal' Smith, The A-Team, Season 1: Mexican Slayride
Tagged: Assault, hospital
“[Murdock is singing in the cockpit when Hannibal joins him]
Hannibal: The sleeping giant awakes.

[Murdock stops singing and stares shocked at Hannibal.]

Hannibal: How fast can you bring us down?

Murdock: You just landed, brother.”
— John 'Hannibal' Smith, The A-Team, Season 1: Mexican Slayride
Tagged: Flying, Terror
“[Hannibal is strapping an unconscious B.A. to his seat on the plane.]
Amy: Excuse me, but what are you doing?

Hannibal: We're tying him up so he won't kill us if he comes-to.

Amy: [looking puzzled] I see. Excuse me again, but isn't he one of you, I mean isn't he on the team?

Face: Yes.

Amy: So then why do you have to drug him?

Hannibal: He hates the pilot.

Amy: Hates the pilot? Why?

Face: Because our pilot is insane.

Amy: [pointing at the cockpit] So he's up there now, flying us?

Face: Yes.
[Murdock, who should be flying the plane, walks past singing. Face gets up and leads him back to the cockpit]

Face: What a kidder!

Amy: I'm not sure you are exactly what I bargained for.

Hannibal: Let's get something straight right now. You want your friend back. The authorities shined you on, so you went out and hired a bunch of gun-fighters. Now, if you wanted someone with good manners, you should've hired an English butler.

Amy: The pilot's really insane?

Hannibal: We think so.

Amy: Are you still being chased by the government?

Hannibal: That's right.

Amy: What I don't understand, is why you're not living in Switzerland, where it's safe?

Hannibal: Because we're not Swiss. We're Americans. We've got a little problem right now. But we'll work our way out of it somehow. In the mean time, we stick together and do what we do best.”
— John 'Hannibal' Smith, The A-Team, Season 1: Mexican Slayride
Tagged: pilot, insane, Americans, Switzerland
“Face: I got us a Gulfstream. Can you fly it?

Murdock: Hey, brother. If it's got wings, I can fly it.

Face: Great.

Murdock: Hey, Face, what's a Gulfstream?”
— Templeton 'Faceman' Peck, The A-Team, Season 1: Mexican Slayride
Tagged: gulfstream, trailer
“B.A. Baracus: [about Hannibal] You learn to love him, Mama. But it takes a long time.

Amy: That's the same thing he said about you.”
— B.A. Baracus, The A-Team, Season 1: Mexican Slayride
Tagged: Love, Time
“Ben Seaver: [comes home wearing glasses for the first time] One crack and I'm gone.

Dr. Jason Seaver: [Mike laughs in convulsions] Mike, cut that out.

Mike Seaver: [as if in pain] Oh, you don't know what you're askin', Dad.

Carol Seaver: Well, I'll say something. I think you look brainy.

Ben Seaver: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.
[he tries to run back outside, restrained by Jason]

Mike Seaver: Oh, don't stop him, Dad, my pancreas is about to blow.

Ben Seaver: Dad, brainy is just another word for geek.

Dr. Jason Seaver: Hey, I wear glasses, I'm not a geek.

Ben Seaver: Sure, you've got a woman.
[he leaves]

Mike Seaver: [playing it for all it's worth] Oh, man, I gotta go lay down. I think I just hurt myself.”
— Mike Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 7: Paper Tigers
Tagged: glasses, four-eyes, bullying, brainy, geek
“Ben Seaver: [complaining about his bad first day at school] At lunch, some big guy with sideburns forced me to eat green Jell-O. God help me, I liked it.

Chrissy Seaver: [astonished] You ate green Jell-O?

Ben Seaver: Yeah. And it was like a nerd magnet. The whole Chess Club sat with me. They elected me president.

Maggie Malone Seaver: Ben, that doesn't make you a nerd.

Ben Seaver: [he pulls a piece of paper out of his back pocket] No? Well, this does. The school nurse says I need glasses. We're talkin' Full Frontal Nerdity.”
— Ben Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 7: Back to School
Tagged: nerd, Jell-O, Chess Club
“Maggie Malone Seaver: [on Chrissy's first day of kindergarten] You are gonna have so much fun today. Just remember to be polite, and share, and do what your teacher says.

Ben Seaver: Great advice, Mom. Why don't you just tattoo 'Dweeb' on her forehead.

Chrissy Seaver: Wait a minute. Nobody said anything about tattoos!

Maggie Malone Seaver: Honey, your brother is just using a figure of speech, as in: Put a sock in it!

Ben Seaver: Mom, on the first day of school, if you're not careful, you'll get a label that's gonna dog you for the rest-a your life.

Chrissy Seaver: [getting nervous] Like what?

Ben Seaver: Sit in front—Dorfburger. Answer any questions—Boogerhead. Hang out with anyone wearing glasses—Geekus Maximus. And most important: Eat the green jello—'Hasta la vista, baby!'

Chrissy Seaver: What is wrong with green Jell-O?

Ben Seaver: Leo 'Lime-Tongue' Plotnick.

Maggie Malone Seaver: And who's he?

Ben Seaver: Just the secretary-slash-treasurer of the Chess Club.”
— Carol Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 7: Back to School
Tagged: Tattoos, Kindergarten, bullying
“Mike Seaver: Don't worry, I'm taking my subjects seriously this year.

Maggie Malone Seaver: [reads his enrollment form] Bugs Bunny as Archetype: Hero or Wascal?'

Mike Seaver: If Boynton State Teachers' College offers it, e-b-dee, e-b-dee, that's enough for me!”
— Mike Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 7: Back to School
Tagged: College, term papers, Bugs Bunny
“I'll get on a scale and PROVE this wasn't my fault!”
— Carol Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 5: Weekend at Mike's
Tagged: Weight, excuses
“[as Ben studies, visions of his friends and family appear before him]
Vito Paducci: Ben, what are you doing sitting up studying? You've got the answer sheet in your pocket. Doesn't that bed look mighty comfortable?

Ben Seaver: [scoffs] I can't cheat, Vito, they're onto me!

Vito Paducci: You're not thinking. You don't have to get them all right; just make sure you get a couple wrong.

Ben Seaver: Well, how do I do that?

Vito Paducci: Just be yourself.

Mike Seaver: They're witches, Ben, they're witches!

Maggie Malone Seaver: [evilly] Ben, you bring home another D in Science, you'll see a side of me you have never seen before!

Carol Seaver: [shown in a kangaroo suit] Ben, if I hadn't mentioned it before, let me mention it now: you're a real disappointment to me and the other marsupials.

Vito Paducci: [more visions freak out Ben] Come on, Ben, cheat!

Stinky Sullivan: Yeah, Ben, cheat!

Dr. Jason Seaver: Of course it's not okay to cheat!

Vito Paducci: Hey, who will know?

Mike Seaver: They are witches, Ben!

Stinky Sullivan: What else can we do?

Carol Seaver: [a realistic kangaroo is shown] Marsupial! Marsupial!

Maggie Malone Seaver: [in the style of the Wicked Witch of the West] ... and your little dog, too! AH, HA, HA, HA, HA!”
— Margaret "Maggie" Malone Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 5: Cheating
Tagged: studying, Witches, Dreams, Wicked Witch of the West
“Dr. Jason Seaver: [after catching his kids having a party] Carol, what was going on in there that you couldn't hear what was happening out here?

Carol Seaver: Dad, I don't like what you're implying!
[Carol leaves until Mike and Jason see sawdust handprints behind her black skirt]

Dr. Jason Seaver: STOP!

Carol Seaver: [freeze and pauses for a moment] What?

Dr. Jason Seaver: What is on your backside?

Mike Seaver: Carol, looks to me like your butt's got a big mouth.

Carol Seaver: [chuckles in disbelief] Oh, you think these are Frank's, dad? Dad, they're mine. I mean—well, I was just talking to him and standing like this.
[Carol puts her hands behind her trying to play it off]

Mike Seaver: Good, Carol, and dad was worried you were hot for the guy.

Dr. Jason Seaver: Well, I think maybe it's time I had a word with Frank—maybe MORE than a word.

Carol Seaver: Daddy, please!
[Jason opens the door to his office purposely knocking Frank off the ladder to the floor]

Dr. Jason Seaver: And another thing: YOU'RE FIRED.”
— Dr. Jason Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 5: The New Deal
Tagged: party, busted, Guilt, Fired
“Julie Costello: [letter, in tears] 'Dear Mike, by the time you read this, I'll be on a plane. And I've never written a letter like this before, so I don't know how to start. I've been thinking about you and me and marriage, and—well, I know you think that all the time I've been the mature and sure one, but I have to say when it comes to us, you've been the mature one.'

Mike Seaver: [curiously, to himself] I've been the mature one?

Julie Costello: [letter continues] 'Don't deny it. I—I just want to know how you can know so much. Mike, I've got so many questions and I've got so many doubts, and maybe I'm crazy or just scared out of my mind, I don't know, maybe it's just cold feet. But all I know right now is I can't go through with this. And I wanted to tell you all this this morning when you came by, but how could I? I mean you looked so determined with all those invitations under your arm. Well, by the time I got up my courage, I ran out to the hallway and you were already gone. And look, I—I know my confusion must be hard for you to understand.'

Mike Seaver: [solemnly] It's not that hard.

Julie Costello: [letter continues] 'Mike, I'm sorry. I wished I could be more like you and—but I'm not. So take care of yourself. Love, Julie.'”
— Mike Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 5: Mike and Julie's Wedding
Tagged: Letters, Regret, Confusion, Selfish, goodbye
“Nick Simpson: [observing the 'accident' Mike made with a soda bottle, suspiciously, to Mike] Somebody unscrewed this. This was no accident. Wait a minute... You didn't get too busy and forget, did you?

Mike Seaver: Look, do you know that you're prejudiced, or are you just kidding yourself.

Nick Simpson: [furiously] You rude, smart-assed know-it-all, what are you trying to prove here, huh!

Mike Seaver: I'm not trying; I just proved it.

Nick Simpson: You whitebread suburban punks really get to me! Someday, you'll figure out with the score is!

Mike Seaver: Yeah, well, I just did!

Nick Simpson: You know, you've got a lot to learn about the real world!

Mike Seaver: Yeah, well, I won't be learning it from you! I quit!

[takes off his work jacket]
Nick Simpson: [yells in anger] You know something, you are one confused little kid!

Mike Seaver: [leaves] Not anymore.”
— Mike Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 4: Fortunate Son
Tagged: Rude, suburban, bullies, real world
“It's time, Mike, it's time.”
— Mike Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 4: Semper Fidelis
Tagged: pep talk
“Jason: [Mike wants to go to California to see Melina] But Mike, airfare to California is very expensive.

Mike: I know dad, but Carol is lending me the money.

Jason: Oh, get outta town!

Mike: OK, thanks dad, bye!”
— Dr. Jason Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 3: Great Expectations
Tagged: airfare, loans, California
“Dr. Jason Seaver: [Walking into the living room to turn off the TV] Mike, didn't you put your hand over your heart and promise to do your homework?

Mike Seaver: Dad, I will.

Dr. Jason Seaver: Well what do we have to do, pay you to do it?

Mike Seaver: You know, I think you're on to something here, dad.”
— Dr. Jason Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 3: Nasty Habits
Tagged: homework, Bribery
“Maggie Malone Seaver: Four pages that are typed.

Dr. Jason Seaver: Researched.

Maggie Malone Seaver: Footnoted.

Dr. Jason Seaver: With bibliography.

Maggie Malone Seaver: That you should have been working on for four weeks.

Dr. Jason Seaver: And it is due tomorrow. And...

Maggie Malone Seaver: According to your teacher...

Dr. Jason Seaver: If you don't get at least a 'B' on this paper...

Maggie Malone Seaver: You won't pass the course. That means you...

Carol Seaver: Won't graduate!

Ben Seaver: Yeah!”
— Dr. Jason Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 3: Nasty Habits
Tagged: term papers, Research, Graduation
“Dr. Jason Seaver: Out of the way, Ben.

Ben Seaver: Has this been physically cleared by mom?

Dr. Jason Seaver: It has. Yes.

Ben Seaver: You've got something on paper?

Dr. Jason Seaver: Out of the way.”
— Dr. Jason Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 3: Nasty Habits
Tagged: on paper, get out of my way
“Carol Seaver: You mean, you haven't even started yet?

Mike Seaver: What's your point?

Carol Seaver: 4.0. What's yours?”
— Carol Seaver, Growing Pains, Season 3: Nasty Habits
Tagged: procrastination, GPA

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This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

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