Ben Seaver: [comes home wearing glasses for the first time] One crack and I'm gone.

Dr. Jason Seaver: [Mike laughs in convulsions] Mike, cut that out.

Mike Seaver: [as if in pain] Oh, you don't know what you're askin', Dad.

Carol Seaver: Well, I'll say something. I think you look brainy.

[he tries to run back outside, restrained by Jason]

Mike Seaver: Oh, don't stop him, Dad, my pancreas is about to blow.

Ben Seaver: Dad, brainy is just another word for geek.

Dr. Jason Seaver: Hey, I wear glasses, I'm not a geek.

Ben Seaver: Sure, you've got a woman.
[he leaves]

Mike Seaver: [playing it for all it's worth] Oh, man, I gotta go lay down. I think I just hurt myself.”

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