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Tim Herlihy Quotes

Total quotes: 76
“Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don’t get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: back to school
“[pointing to Vanessa's older lover] Sonny, is that the man with the old balls?”
— Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath, Big Daddy
Tagged: Ageism, old balls
“Sonny: Say 'Happy Halloween'.

Reluctant Trick-or-Treat Giver: Happy Halloween.

Sonny: Yeah, next year be prepared!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Halloween, Trick or Treat, be prepared
“Beaver Breath: You have no right to be here. This Apache land.

Will Patch: And what you gonna do about it, beaver breath?

Beaver Breath: How he know my name?”
— Will Patch, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Land, apache, Beaver, Breath
“O’Doyle: [Throws the dodgeball at Billy as he walks on to the playground]

Billy Madison: [Catches the ball one-handed] Now you’re all in big, BIG trouble.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: dodgeball, big trouble
“[Discussing Vanessa's new senior citizen boyfriend]
Vanessa: He has a five-year plan.

Sonny: What is it? 'Don't die'?”
— Tim Herlihy, Adam Sandler, Steve Franks, Big Daddy
Tagged: five-year-plan, Senior Citizen, Ageism
“[Julian is taking a leak]
Julian: How come you're not going?

Sonny: Because I don't have to go. Only you and my grandfather go every thirty seconds.”
— Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath, Big Daddy
Tagged: Frequent Urination, Prostate
“Sonny: Get cleaned up and we'll go to Barney's.

Julian: Barney?

Sonny: Not that Barney, a different Barney. A much more expensive Barney.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: barney, expensive
“Abner DoubleDay: [after credits] Before you go...Two...four...six...eight...who do we appreciate?

Chinese Baseball Team: [in unison] The Stockburns! The Stockburns! Yeah! The Stockburns!”
— Abner Doubleday, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: sports chants
“Say, honey: How ‘bout after this, we go someplace and I put my peepee in your teepee?”
— Will Patch, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: peepee, teepee, Euphemisms
“Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes. I made ‘em extra sloppy for youse. I know how youse kids like ‘em sloppy.

Billy Madison: Lady, you’re scaring us.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: sloppy joes, extra sloppy, Scar
“[regarding Ramon's shocked-face signal to begin the heist] You know, I make that same face when I put my cologne on in the morning, especially when I'm home alone.”
— General Custer, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: cologne, shocked face, Home Alone
“Corinne: What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister?

Sonny: Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called 'doing the hibbidy-dibbidy.'”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Laundry, Double Entendres, hibbidy-dibbidy
“Sonny: What do you eat?

Julian: Food.

Sonny: Oh, yeah? Well, I eat food, too.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: eating, food, Stating the Obvious
“Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?

Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?

Frank: ‘74.

Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: Jack Nicholson, Meg Ryan, boning, 1974
“Ramon: My mother's Swedish.

Tommy aka White Knife: I don't think so. I reckon she's Mexican.

Ramon: Lying bitch!”
— Ramon, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Swedish, Mexican, lying, Bitch
“[to Julian] I can't take this shit. Are you serious? [Julian continues jumping to the Kangaroo song…under his breath; about the character in the song] Douchebag kangaroo.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: douchebag, Kangaroo, Shit
“Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: old balls, loose skin, Gross
“Sonny: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She'll be my sugar mamma.

Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: sugar mama, money making
“Never Wears Bra: You lucky, Smoking Fox. White Knife all man. Bravest of all braves.

Smoking Fox: Not brave. Foolish. I want to be wife, not widow.”
— Smoking Fox, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Lucky, Brave, foolish, Wife, Widow
“Frank Stockburn: Boy, you got your mom's muscles. You a prizefighter?

Chico: No, actually, I'm a...piano player.”
— Frank Stockburn, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: muscles, prizefighter, Piano Player
“My God, that's a shitload of piss.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Piss, shitload
“Layla: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?

Sonny: Yeah.

Layla: Is that strange for you?

Sonny: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Porno, Best Friends, Law School, Falling In Love
“3rd Grader: Wa-wa-wa-once th-th-th-there wa-wa-wa-was a-a-a-a g-g-girl.

Billy Madison: Kid can’t even read.

Ernie: Cut it out, dude, you’re gonna get us in trouble.

Billy Madison: T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR!”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: Stuttering, bullying
“No I will not make out with you. Did ya hear that? This girl wants to make out with me in the middle of class. You got Chlorophyll Man up there talking about God knows what and all she can talk about is making out with me. I’m here to learn, everybody, not to make out with you. Go on with the chlorophyll.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: chlorophyll, Making Out
“Shooter McGavin: [after buying grandma's house in an auction] You're in big trouble though, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!

Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Shooter McGavin: [long pause] No!”
— Happy Gilmore, Happy Gilmore
Tagged: Best Sports Movies, Shit
“[Julian and the Delivery Guy are learning how to read]
Julian: Electricity! Constitution! Philadelphia!

Nazo: Fish! Pony! Hip, Hip Hop, Hip Hop anonymous? Damn you! You gave him the easy ones.”
— Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath, Big Daddy
Tagged: Electricity, Philadelphia, US Constitution, fish, pony
“...but I wipe my own ass, I wipe my own ass!”
— Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath, Big Daddy
Tagged: ass, asswipe
“Sonny: He's the smelly kid in class!, I let him become the smelly kid in class!, What the hell's the matter with me?

Ms. Foote: Oh yes, I've had some smelly ones before, but your son is by far the smelliest.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Smelly
“I know this is the right thing because I would die for this kid just so he won't feel one ounce of sadness. That's why you're here right now, to protect me, to be scared for me to be a good father. And that's exactly what I'm gonna be.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Sadness, Fatherhood
“Lil' Pete: Oh Pa, I have a question for you.

Frank Stockburn: Yeah.

Lil' Pete: Where do babies come from?

Frank Stockburn: Well, son, the mom just poops 'em out.

Lil' Pete: [laughed] I knewed it! I knewed it, Dad!”
— Lil' Pete, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: facts of life, where do babies come from?, poops
“Kid: Mortal Kombat, on Sega Genesis, is the best video game ever.

Billy Madison: I disagree, it’s a very good game, but I think Donkey Kong is the best game ever.

Kid: Donkey Kong sucks.

Billy Madison: You know something? YOU SUCK!”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: Mortal Kombat, Sega Genesis, Gaming, Donkey Kong, you suck
“That is some mystical shit!”
— Danny, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: mystical, Shit
“Danny: I did a real stupid thing that inadvertently led to the death of a United States president, I'm feeling pretty lousy about it.

Frank Stockburn: Well son, look at my eyes... Shit happens!

Danny: Yeah. Thanks. Thank you, sir.”
— Danny, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Shit Happens, lincoln assassination
“What, you want a father figure? Stop pulling your sister's hair!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Father Figure, hair puller
“Have a good sleep there, Corrine. Pleasant hooters!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Hooters, boobs
“Mike: I am still weirded out seeing them kiss.

Sonny: Why? They're gay. That's what gay guys do.

Mike: Yeah, but they were like brothers to us in school.

Sonny: They're still our brothers. Our very gay brothers.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: men kissing, gay, brothers
“Billy Madison: Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.

[Notices gold swan on edge of tub]

Billy Madison: Stop looking at me, swan.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: Shampoo, Conditioner
“Billy Madison: I swear to God I’m sick. I can’t go to school.

Juanita: If you’re gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.

Billy Madison: Oh my God. I’ll go to school.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: School, calling in sick
“Julian: I wipe my own ass.

Nazo: Me, too.”
— Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath, Big Daddy
Tagged: wipe ass
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