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Harold Ramis Quotes

Total quotes: 47
“Rita: Are you drunk or something?

Phil: Drunk is more fun.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: Drunk, Fun
“I tell ya' this steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting it.”
— Al Czervik, Caddyshack
Tagged: Funny Jokes, Caddyshack, Classic Movies
“This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: Television, weather forecast, Squirrel
“Phil: I'm a god.

Rita: You're God?

Phil: I'm a god. I'm not the God...I don't think.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: God, A God, The God
“That was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over, and over, and over...”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: Good Day
“There is no way that this winter is ever going to end as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any other way out. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: Winter, groundhog, shadow
“Rita: It's beautiful. I don't know what to say.

Phil: I do. Whatever happens tomorrow, or for the rest of my life, I'm happy now... because I love you.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: I Love You
“Rita: Do you ever have déjà vu?

Phil: Didn't you just ask me that?”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: déjà vu
“I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset, we made love like sea otters. [Ralph and Gus snort]”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: virgin islands, sea otters, pina colada, lobster
“Felix's Wife: Dr. Connors. I want to thank you for fixing Felix's back. He can even help around the house again.

Phil: I'm sorry to hear that, Felix.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: doctor, impersonating doctor
“Rita: This day was perfect. You couldn't have planned a day like this.

Phil: Well, you can. It just takes an awful lot of work.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: Perfect Day, Planning
“Phil: Why are you here?

Rita: You said stay so I stayed.

Phil: I can't even make a collie stay.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: Stay, collies
“Ty Webb: You take drugs, Danny?

Danny Noonan: Every day.

Ty Webb: Good.”
— Ty Webb, Caddyshack
Tagged: Drugs
“Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!”
— Carl Spackler, Caddyshack
Tagged: Cinderella Story, Miracle, Golf
“his crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the Masters champion.”
— Carl Spackler, Caddyshack
Tagged: Cinderella Story, Miracle, Golf, Masters Tournament
“Well I won't be a caddy all my life, I'm going to car wash school in the fall.”
— Harry, Caddyshack II
Tagged: Sarcasm, Future Careers
“Kids are starving in India and you're walking around with a sombrero full of peanuts.”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Starvation, India, sombrero, Peanuts
“Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.”
— Al Czervik, Caddyshack
Tagged: Ageism
“You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?”
— Al Czervik, Caddyshack
Tagged: prostitution
“[to his Asian companion] I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?”
— Al Czervik, Caddyshack
Tagged: Segregation, Chinese, Jewish, Mistaken Identity
“Don't be obsessed with your desires Danny. The Zen philosopher, Basho, once wrote, 'A flute with no holes, is not a flute. A donut with no hole, is a Danish.' He was a funny guy.”
— Ty Webb, Caddyshack
Tagged: desires, Philosophy, Zen
“Phil: Do you ever have déjà vu, Mrs. Lancaster?

Mrs. Lancaster: I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: déjà vu, Misheard
“You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: weatherman, Cold Weather, Winter
“Ned: Phil?

Phil: Ned? [punches Ned in the face]”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: Punch
“Phil: So, did you sleep OK without me? You tossed and turned, didn't you?

Rita: You're incredible.

Phil: Who told you?”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: tossing and turning, Incredible, Ego
“Phil: You wanna throw up here, or you wanna throw up in the car?

Ralph: I think...both.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: Throw Up
“Phil: Something is... different.

Rita: Good or bad?

Phil: Anything different is good.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: different, change is good
“Attention. Here's an update on tonight's dinner. It was veal. I repeat, veal. The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed ‘some kind of beef.’”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: veal, Beef, Mystery Meat
“[entering party] Alright, virgins to the left, non-virgins to the right. [to Crocket and Wheels] You guys split 'em up however you want.”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Virgins
“Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right.”
— Mayor Lenny Clotch, Ghostbusters II
Tagged: Ghostbusters
“With the market these days if you own anything but land you own a popcorn farm.”
— Al Czervik, Caddyshack
Tagged: Funny Jokes, Caddyshack, Classic Movies
“Come on, all the long distance lines are down? What about the satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you have some kind of a line that you keep open for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: celebrity, Emergency, Long Distance, Satellite, Snow
“Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?”
— Al Czervik, Caddyshack
Tagged: Crass, Farting
“Important announcement—some hunters have been seen in the woods near Piney Ridge trail and the fish and game commission has raised the legal kill limit on campers to three. So, if you're hiking today, please wear something bright and keep low.”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Hunters, Hunting Humans
“Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: tomorrow, Today, timelessness
“Phil: It's the same thing your whole life: 'Clean up your room. Stand up straight. Pick up your feet. Take it like a man. Be nice to your sister. Don't mix beer and wine, ever.' Oh yeah: 'Don't drive on the railroad track.'

Gus: Well, Phil, that's one I happen to agree with.”
— Phil Connors, Groundhog Day
Tagged: clean your room, Beer, Wine
“Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!”
— Al Czervik, Caddyshack
Tagged: Getting Laid, Crass
“This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sinsemilla. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.”
— Carl Spackler, Caddyshack
Tagged: Marijuana, stoned, Hybrid, Sinsemilla, Kentucky Bluegrass
“Mmmmm. Look at all those steaming wieners. Do you know what they're saying? They're saying, ‘This is the year that Fink beats 'The Stomach'. [Fink picks up a hot dog and holds it to his ear] No, it's a couple of them over here... but they're saying it.”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: Hot Dogs, Anthropomorphism
“Attention campers, afternoon swim schedule is as follows. Advanced dolphins, report to the dock for survival swimming and I.Q. testing. All senior silverfish, meet on the beach for nude sunbathing. All junior salmon, trout, and herring, report to the nearest delicatessen. And six-year-old tadpoles, report to the swamp. And all lobsters, GET OUT OF HERE! YOU'RE A MENACE!”
— Triipper Harrison, Meatballs
Tagged: campers, Lobsters, tadpoles, trout, herring, IQ
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