Quotes tagged ‘Misheard’

“[Chet is being pulled by the boat on water-skies at high speed] Chet: You bastard! You bastard! Roman: I think he's saying go faster.”

— John Hughes, Roman Craig, Dan Aykroyd, imdb.com

“Shame Wizard: You truly are an enigma. Coach Steve: You're not supposed to say that word anymore.”

— Joe Wengert, Coach Steve, Nick Kroll, imdb.com

“Kevin Leech: [Having hit Martin with a golf ball on the forehead] Are you all right? Martin Moone: [Standing up] No. I'm Martin Moone. I haven't seen All Right.”

— Nick Vincent Murphy, Chris O'Dowd, imdb.com

“Phil: Do you ever have déjà vu, Mrs. Lancaster? Mrs. Lancaster: I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen.”

— Danny Rubin, Harold Ramis, Phil Connors, Bill Murray, imdb.com

“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Well, dear, are you ready? Inga: Yes, Doctor. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Elevate me. Inga: Now? Right here? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes, yes, raise the platform. Inga: Oh. Ze platform. Oh, zat, yah, yah... yes.”

— Mel Brooks, Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Gene Wilder, imdb.com

“Igor: What is this? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Schwartzwalder Kirschtorte. The Monster: [off-screen] MMMMMMM! Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent. Igor: Who are you talking to? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: To you. You just made a…”

— Mel Brooks, Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Gene Wilder, imdb.com

“Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [to Igor] Now that brain that you gave me. Was it Hans Delbruck's? Igor: [pause] No. Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Ah! Very good. Would you mind telling me whose brain I DID put in? Igor: Then you won't be angry? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry. Igor: Abby s…”

— Mel Brooks, Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, Gene Wilder, imdb.com

“Lil' Pete: Hey, friend. Need any help getting her out? Ramon: She's not really stuck, amigo. She's just a diversion. Lil' Pete: She's a virgin? I'm a virgin, too... unless you count cantaloupes. Ramon: I believe that, but she's a diversion to keep the banker busy so that my brother has time to rob t…”

— Tim Herlihy, Adam Sandler, imdb.com

“Lucy Ricardo: How'd you know all that stuff? Ricky Ricardo: Who do you think you married, some country pumpkin?”

— Jess Oppenheimer, Ricky Ricardo, Desi Arnaz, imdb.com

“Jane: What if we blew them off and went to see a movie, just the two of us. Is that terrible? Michael: I'd love to. Jane: I love you too. What? Michael: Nothing. We've just never said that to each other before. Jane: You just did. Michael: ...Actually, I said, 'I'd love to.' Jane: Oh... Michael: But…”

— Jessica O'Toole, Amy Rardin, Jane Villanueva, Gina Rodriguez, imdb.com

“Daria: You guys will never graduate. Butt-head: Uhh…never masturbate?”

— Kristofor Brown, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com

“Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: [Unhappy with Emily's choice of marriage counselor] Emily, I thought you were supposed to find someone neutral. Emily Hartley: I did. Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: She's a woman! Emily Hartley: That's right, Bob. I said neutral, not neuter.”

— Earl Barret, Robert Hartley, Bob Newhart, imdb.com

“Kyle: Dude, I have to save Ike! I don't even know what to do! Stan: Well, we can't do anything now; that fat bitch won't let us. Ms. Crabtree: [shouts] WHAT DID YOU SAY? Stan: I said, 'Rabbits eat lettuce.' Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Well, yes, they certainly do.”

— Trey Parker, Kyle Broflovski, Matt Stone, imdb.com

“Nikki Swango: Ray, there's a man in my bathroom. Ray Stussy: Let's not jump to any conclusions. Nikki Swango: Are you saying he's not a man or he's not in my bathroom?”

— Noah Hawley, Nikki Swango, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, imdb.com

“I thought you said ‘hump squirrels.’ This is the one where I hump squirrels, yes.”

— Jennifer Lawrence, mtv.com

“It's a moo point. It's like a cow's opinion; it doesn't matter. It's moo.”

— Patty Lin, Joey Tribbiani, Matt LeBlanc, imdb.com

“Felix: What do you want? Louise: A lot of things, Felix, but right now I want money for a dog. Felix: You owe money to a dog?”

— Lizzie Molyneux, Wendy Molyneux, Louise Belcher (voice), Kristen Schaal, imdb.com

“Mr. Frond: So, you're in trouble again. Louise: Drink some cranberry juice. Mr. Frond: What? No, not ‘urine trouble!’ You are in trouble.”

— Nora Smith, Louise Belcher (voice), Kristen Schaal, imdb.com

“Sophia: For starters, Jean is a lesbian. Dorothy: Ma. Blanche: What's funny about that? Sophia: You aren't surprised? Blanche: Of course not. I mean I've never known any personally, but isn't Danny Thomas one? Dorothy: Not Lebanese, Blanche. Lesbian.”

— Jeffrey Duteil, Sophia Petrillo, Estelle Getty, imdb.com