Quotes tagged ‘Mistaken Identity’

“Mr. Pendanski: You are here on account of one person; do you know who that one person is? Stanley: Yeah, my no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather, that’s who it is. Mr. Pendanski: No, you.”

— Louis Sachar, Dr. Pendanski, Tim Blake Nelson, imdb.com

“[to his Asian companion] I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?”

— Douglas Kenney, Brian Doyle-Murray, Harold Ramis, Al Czervik, Rodney Dangerfield, imdb.com

“[to herself, after Shug shouts Albert's first name when she throws the burned food out of the bedroom] Albert?”

— Menno Meyjes, Celie, Whoopi Goldberg, imdb.com

“Martha Hanson: I met a man named Walter Taffet yesterday. Philip Jennings: Who's he? Martha Hanson: [after a sober pause] Well, he's you. Philip Jennings: [Shocked, trying to regain his composure] I... Martha Hanson: [On the verge of tears] They found the pen...Who are you?”

— Joshua Brand, Philip Jennings, Matthew Rhys, imdb.com

“Stan: Aw man, I feel like a total choad. Cartman: Aw come on, Stan. Maybe that's because you look like a total choad. Chef: Hello there, Children! Cartman: Hey, Chef! Chef: [after looking at Cartman who's dressed like a Klansman] Aah! Cartman: Whoa, Chef's really scared of ghosts, huh?”

— Philip Stark, Matt Stone, Stan Marsh, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“It appears that the horrible, destructive creature is actually 8-year-old Stan Marsh of South Park. When asked why he was wreaking such havoc on his hometown, the little boy replied, 'Me Stan, bachump, BA-chewy-chump, BA-chewy-chump.' Back to you in the studio.”

— Dan Sterling, Matt Stone, Trey Parker, News Broadcaster, Trey Parker, imdb.com

“Willie Tanner: ALF! Flakey Pete: [walks into the kitchen] Oh. Hi Willie. Willie Tanner: Where is he? Flakey Pete: Who? Your little alien guy? Willie Tanner: If anything... anything has happened to him, you're gonna be... ALF: Hey. Willie. Willie Tanner: ALF! ALF: Willie! Willie Tanner: ALF! ALF: Wil…”

— Tom Patchett, Stephen Hollander, ALF (voice), Paul Fusco, imdb.com

“Raquel Ochmonek: Mark my words, that man who lived next door to us was Buddy Holly. ALF: [pops open the shutters in the kitchen after Raquel leaves] Boy, is she gullible! Everybody knows Buddy Holly runs a bait and tackle shop in Phoenix.”

— Al Jean, Raquel Ochmonek, Liz Sheridan, imdb.com

“Marion: Your father once even sent me a five-pound box of candy on Valentine's Day anonymously. He was a devil. Howard: I never ever sent you a five-pound box of candy. Marion: You didn't? Howard: No, I didn't. Marion: Then I must have married the wrong man.”

— Jack Winter, Marion Cunningham, Marion Ross, imdb.com

“You can imagine my embarrassment when I learned that I had killed the wrong man.”

— Joe Valachi, imdb.com

“I'm pretty sure I married someone else's soul mate. If only they'd come around and take him off my hands.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc