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“Fred Flintstone: Tell me, boss, I'm on pins and needles! What were you wearing?

Mr. Rockhead: [Puts on the bird head of the costume that he, unknown to Fred, exchanged with the costumer] I got it right here.

Fred Flintstone: Sure, I talked to you, we were standing at the refreshment bar and I was saying... [suddenly realizes it was Mr. Rockhead he said all that bad stuff to] Oh boy, what I was saying...

Mr. Rockhead: I'll refresh your memory... Quote: Vice president of the morons section of the Knucklehead Club.

[Fred starts to 'feel small' as he continues]
Mr. Rockhead: Home having dinner before the 5-oclock whistle. Penny Pincher. Shorty. Birdbrain. You were gonna bump me right on the beak! Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera! Well, what have you got to say for yourself?

Fred Flintstone: [in a high-pitched voice] Oh boy, me and my big mouth.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 2: The Masquerade Ball
Tagged: busted, insults, Karma
“Fred Flintstone: Hi there young fella, what's your name?

Alvin: Alvin.

Fred Flintstone: Alvin what?

Alvin: Alvin... thank you.

Fred Flintstone: No, I mean your other name. What does your mommy call your daddy?

Alvin: She don't call him anything, she likes him!

Fred Flintstone: [getting irritated] Well, what does the name say on your mailbox?

Alvin: U.S. Mail.

Fred Flintstone: Say, isn't your father A.A. Carborundum?

Alvin: Yeah, so what?

Fred Flintstone: Well, do you know who I am?

Alvin: You mean you don't know that, either?

Fred Flintstone: Smart aleck kid.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 2: The Missing Bus
Tagged: Banter, smart aleck
“Fred Flintstone: [after Wilma is given Pebbles for the first time] Awwww, she looks like a chip off the ol' block.

Barney Rubble: Actually, more like a pebble off the ol' flintstone.

Wilma Flintstone: What a beautiful name. Pebbles Flintstone.

Pebbles Flintstone: [Her first words ever] Yabba. Dabba. Goo.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 3: The Blessed Event
Tagged: Birth, first words
“Wilma Flintstone: Look at me Fred, I'm calm.

Fred Flintstone: Why shouldn't you be? Your wife isn't having a baby.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 3: The Blessed Event
Tagged: Pregnancy, Panic, Labor
“I'm not talking about Wilma's mother. I'm talking about that antiseptic refugee from the psycho ward. Nurse Frightenshale.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 3: Carry On, Nurse Fred
Tagged: psycho ward
“Bartender... rocks over rocks. And bartender... put that in a dirty glass.”
— Perry Gunite, The Flintstones, Season 1: Love Letters on the Rocks
Tagged: Bartender, Drinking, dirty glass
“Barney Rubble: [while looking over the hot piano] Hold it? Do you get a guarantee with it?

Eighty-Eight Fingers Louie: Certainly. I guarantee it's a piano. And when Eighty-Eight Fingers Louie makes that guarantee he stands by it.”
— Barney Rubble, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Hot Piano
Tagged: piano sales, Swindlers
“Fred Flintstone: [the piano gets stuck in the doorway] Stand back, Barney. I'm going to put a little weight behind it.

Barney Rubble: But Fred, you're a lot of weight!”
— Warren Foster, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Hot Piano
Tagged: piano movers, Fat-Shaming
“Now you see, Boo Boo, I'm smarter than the average Fred Flintstone, hey hey.”
— Yogi Bear, The Flintstones, Season 3: Swedish Visitors
Tagged: Yogi Bear, Boo Boo
“How are ya? Glad to see ya! Please go right ahead, don't mind little old me. We're drawing a Snorkasaurus aren't we? Yes we are, love it, love it, love it! But we are making mistakes, aren't we? Allow me sir, eh? Thank you. As I remember, a snorkasaurus is a handsome animal. Regal head. More shape to the neck. Well-proportioned body. And ah yes, the feet. Large but neat. And there we are. The snorkasaurus! Oh. Oh. I am such a forgetful dunce! One more thing. A snork makes a melodious sound, like so. Snork! Snork! You've been grand. Grand. No, no. Don't get up. I'll find my way out. Have fun. Snork!”
— Dino Snorkasaurus, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Snorkasaurus Hunter
Tagged: snorkasaurii
“Barney Rubble: At least I don't have to hide under the bed if the prowler shows up!

Fred Flintstone: Who said I did?

Barney Rubble: Wilma told Betty.

Fred Flintstone: She heard a noise and tried to get under the bed.

Barney Rubble: And she couldn't. You were there first.

Fred Flintstone: All right funny man, I'll prove to you you're wasting your money. Tonight, after you go to sleep, I'll sneak in dressed as a prowler. Then what'll you think your wife will do.

Barney Rubble: She'll say 'hello Fred. Why steal it. Just borrow it as usual'.”
— Barney Rubble, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Prowler
Tagged: prowlers, Burglars
“[singing] Here we come / On the run / With a burger on a bun / And a dab of coleslaw on the side / Oh, your tastes we will tickle / With a cold dill pickle / And all of our potatoes are French fried, fried, fried / Our burgers can't be beat / Cuz we grind our own meat / Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind! [BOOM!] Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble... / Are to blame for all our trouble... [spoken]  And if they think that we'll forget... [sung] They're outta their mind, mind, mind, mind, mi-i-ind!”
— Wilma Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Drive-in
Tagged: song parodies, Domestic Violence
“[singing] Here we come / On the run / With a burger on a bun / And a dab of coleslaw on the side / Oh, your tastes we will tickle / With a cold dill pickle / And all of our potatoes are French fried, fried, fried / Our burgers can't be beat / Cuz we grind our own meat / Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind! [BOOM!] When you drive away... / A tip upon our tray... / We hope to find, find, find, find, find / We hope to find, find, find, find, fi-i-ind!”
— Carhop Gwen, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Drive-in
Tagged: carhops, Songs, singing waitresses
“Fred Flintstone: Don't you see? Our neighbor Alvin Brickrock, he borrowed my shovel! He could be a vicious monster! A diabolical fiend!

Barney Rubble: Well Fred, you haven't returned my lawn mower and I don't feel that way about you.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 2: Alvin Brickrock Presents
Tagged: Fiend, Neighbors, Lending, Borrowing
“[Inside Buddy Buddy Jewelry & department store building]
Store Customer: Thanks. May I have my collateral back now?

Clerk: There you are, Mister Slate.

Store Customer: Hi, children.

[after his son & daughter are brought back to him, they speak, calling him daddy]
Store Customer: Come home, children. Mama will make some nice pop-up toast for you.

[then his family leave the store]”
— Mr. Slate, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Engagement Ring
Tagged: jewelry, Family
“Fred Flintstone: The ring wasn't in the flour canister. So it's got to be in the batter.

[slowly peeks around the corner]
Wilma Flintstone: FRED!

Fred Flintstone: [jumps] AAH!

Wilma Flintstone: What are you peeking around corners for?”
— Wilma Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Engagement Ring
Tagged: Spying, peeking, Snooping
“Television Producer: Now I know you've been rehearsing at home, and you know your part. But project. You know, project. You're the frogmouth. You're loud, you're noisy, you're obnoxious. Lots of decibels, you got it?

The Frogmouth: [in a meek voice] I think so. No. No. Nobody would do this to me. It's a gag. Yes. Eases the tension. I was all stiff, now I'm all loosened up. This is a rehearsal everybody. Quiet on stage. Okay Wilma, throw the frogmouth his first cue.

Wilma Flintstone: Bill, the baby's college fund money is missing. Did you take it Bill?

The Frogmouth: [again in the meek voice] Yes I did, so what? You wanna make something out of it?

Television Producer: No, louder! Louder! You're the frogmouth, Be P-O-S-I-T-I-V-E!

The Frogmouth: [slightly raised, but still meek] Yes I did, so what? You wanna make something out of it?

Television Producer: Why me? I'm a good guy. It's too late to audition people. I could have gone to college, I could have learned a trade. But no, I had to be a television producer. And I wind up with a pollywog for a frogmouth. I'm ruined!”
— Wilma Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: Hollyrock, Here I Come
Tagged: TV Shows, producers, Frogmouth, Audition
“Costumer: [Fred tries on a fake beard as a disguise] And with this hat on I guarantee your own mother won't recognize you!

Fred Flintstone: [walking outside] GOOD! GOOD! Now I can go anywhere in town and eat!

Barney Rubble: Hiya, Fred!

Costumer: [back in the costume shop] Back so soon, Mr. Flintstone? How was the party?
[Fred slams the hat over his head]”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: Fred Flintstone
Tagged: Disguises, fake beard
“[singing] Here we come / On the run / With a burger on a bun / And a dab of coleslaw on the side / Oh, your tastes we will tickle / With a cold dill pickle / And all of our potatoes are French fried, fried, fried / Our burgers can't be beat / Cuz we grind our own meat / Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind! [BOOM!] When you drive away... / A tip upon our tray... / We hope to find, find, find, find, find / We hope to find, find, find, find, fi-i-ind!”
— Carhop Gwen, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Drive-in
Tagged: carhops, Songs
“Barney Rubble: Can I ask you something, Fred?

Fred Flintstone: Make it good, because it's the last time I'm speaking to you.

Barney Rubble: Why did you drink my car polish?

Fred Flintstone: Car polish! Barney, do something!

Barney Rubble: I'll get a chamois!”
— Barney Rubble, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Split Personality
Tagged: car polish, chamois
“Barney Rubble: The last bus for the track leaves in an hour. I'll go down and bet the money.

Fred Flintstone: What do you know about betting at the track?

Barney Rubble: I saw it on a TV show once.”
— Barney Rubble, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Split Personality
Tagged: horse racing
“Your only friend is a buck and the more bucks you got the more friends you got.”
— Warren Foster, The Flintstones, Season 1: No Help Wanted
Tagged: Money, Friends
“Barney Rubble: [Hiding in the TV set] Are you having trouble sleeping at night? It might be because you're a deadbeat. Pay off those annoying TV bills with one big payment, and get a good night's sleep.

Fred Flintstone: [Picks up TV set and starts shaking it] Rubble, I'll get you out of there even if I have to wreck the set!”
— Barney Rubble, The Flintstones, Season 1: No Help Wanted
Tagged: Deadbeat, tv bills
“Fred Flintstone: [after discovering Barney has walked away with the TV set] Are you nuts?

Barney Rubble: But Fred, you told me to be ruthless.

Fred Flintstone: Ruthless? You put that set back or you'll be toothless!”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: No Help Wanted
Tagged: Ruthless
“Fred Flintstone: Who is your bosom buddy, close friend, and lifelong pal?

Barney Rubble: How many guesses do I get?”
— Warren Foster, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Swimming Pool
Tagged: Friendship, insults
“Betty Rubble: [on the phone with Wilma] They haven't spoken to each other for five days. I'm sick and tired of it. I told him to go right over and make up with Fred.

Wilma Flintstone: What did he say?

Betty Rubble: He absolutely refused. So I said to him 'I'm going to invite my mother to come visit for a few weeks if you don't.

Wilma Flintstone: Really? What'd he say to that?

Barney Rubble: [poking his head in the door] Hiya, Wilma!”
— Barney Rubble, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Swimming Pool
Tagged: feuding, Making Up, mothers in law
“Barney Rubble: Why should I fill the pool for that hippopotamus next door?

Betty Rubble: Because the wife of that hippopotamus next door happens to be my best friend, that's why.

Wilma Flintstone: [cut to Fred and Wilma] The fence comes down because the wife of that little sawed-off runt happens to be my best friend.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Swimming Pool
Tagged: Fat-Shaming, short-shaming
“[the paperboy throws the newspaper, which is a stone slab, at Fred, knocking him down] Wilma Flintstone: Did you get your paper, dear?

Fred Flintstone: [straining] Yeah, and I'm lucky it only comes once a week.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Flintstone Flyer
Tagged: Slapstick
“Wilma Flintstone: [after the wives realize the guys' deception] State of shock, huh?

Fred Flintstone: Wilma, no, no, not in the head! [gets clobbered]

Wilma Flintstone: Try that while you're 'poor, sick' at home!

Betty Rubble: [mumbles something hard to understand, but definitely angry]

Barney Rubble: Betty, Betty, not with the bowling ball! [gets clobbered]”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Flintstone Flyer
Tagged: Revenge, Deception, Domestic Violence
“Fred Flintstone: [trying to fool their wives it wasn't them in the bowling alley] Read me another bedtime story, would you, Barney pal?

Barney Rubble: Sure, which one? 'Uncle Wiggly' or 'I Was a Teenage Brontosaurus'?”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Flintstone Flyer
Tagged: Deception, bedtime stories

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About The Authors

This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.