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The Flintstones Quotes

“Fred Flintstone: [dressed as a nurse, trying to sneak Barney out past the Desk Nurse] You're doing fine, Mr Rubble. We'll take you outside around the grounds and get some fresh air.

Desk Nurse: [after they've passed] Wow, what a homely nurse.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 2: Operation Barney
Tagged: homely, Drag
“All right. All right. I can't make it as fast as you spend it. I admit it, so let's call off the contest!”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 2: The Happy Household
Tagged: breadwinner
“Hmmm, here's the crook of the month. Fifteen thousand reward for information leading to apprehension of Albert Bonehart, wanted for questioning in disappearance of three former wives. Bonehart's fourth wife was last seen in a little railroad station in a valise, a ladies' hatbox, and an executive's briefcase. Well, that's one way to send your wife to the country.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 2: Alvin Brickrock Presents
Tagged: Criminals, bigamy, Wife Murderers
“Fred Flintstone: Oh, boy, how terrible can you get food?

Pearl Slaghoople: What's the matter sonny, don't you like the breakfast I cooked for ya?

Fred Flintstone: I seem to have lost my appetite. What is this stuff, anyway?

Pearl Slaghoople: [gets in his face] Health food, sonny. Just what the doctor ordered.

Fred Flintstone: Then let the doctor eat it!”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 2: This is Your Lifesaver
Tagged: Bad Food, Health Food
“Fred Flintstone: [playing cards] Barney, what would you do if you were holding the queen alone?

Barney Rubble: I don't know, Fred, it all depends on what time the king gets home.
[laughs]”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 2: Alvin Brickrock Presents
Tagged: cards, poker
“And another thing. If you don't take that insulting commercial off the air, I'll sue, report you to the FCC, and... and... slap your face!”
— Wilma Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: Fred Flintstone
Tagged: FCC, Threats
“Wilma Flintstone: Fred, can't you get up without making all that noise?

Fred Flintstone: It's that pesty gooney bird, he's back again! Why can't he fly back to Capistranorock or wherever else he belongs? What a thing to look forward to all summer!”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 3: Fred's New Job
Tagged: Gooney Bird, San Juan Capistrano
“Fred Flintstone: Tell me, boss, I'm on pins and needles! What were you wearing?

Mr. Rockhead: [Puts on the bird head of the costume that he, unknown to Fred, exchanged with the costumer] I got it right here.

Fred Flintstone: Sure, I talked to you, we were standing at the refreshment bar and I was saying... [suddenly realizes it was Mr. Rockhead he said all that bad stuff to] Oh boy, what I was saying...

Mr. Rockhead: I'll refresh your memory... Quote: Vice president of the morons section of the Knucklehead Club.

[Fred starts to 'feel small' as he continues]
Mr. Rockhead: Home having dinner before the 5-oclock whistle. Penny Pincher. Shorty. Birdbrain. You were gonna bump me right on the beak! Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera! Well, what have you got to say for yourself?

Fred Flintstone: [in a high-pitched voice] Oh boy, me and my big mouth.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 2: The Masquerade Ball
Tagged: busted, insults, Karma
“Fred Flintstone: [after Wilma is given Pebbles for the first time] Awwww, she looks like a chip off the ol' block.

Barney Rubble: Actually, more like a pebble off the ol' flintstone.

Wilma Flintstone: What a beautiful name. Pebbles Flintstone.

Pebbles Flintstone: [Her first words ever] Yabba. Dabba. Goo.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 3: The Blessed Event
Tagged: Birth, first words
“Wilma Flintstone: Look at me Fred, I'm calm.

Fred Flintstone: Why shouldn't you be? Your wife isn't having a baby.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 3: The Blessed Event
Tagged: Pregnancy, Panic, Labor
“Barney Rubble: [while looking over the hot piano] Hold it? Do you get a guarantee with it?

Eighty-Eight Fingers Louie: Certainly. I guarantee it's a piano. And when Eighty-Eight Fingers Louie makes that guarantee he stands by it.”
— Barney Rubble, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Hot Piano
Tagged: piano sales, Swindlers
“Fred Flintstone: [the piano gets stuck in the doorway] Stand back, Barney. I'm going to put a little weight behind it.

Barney Rubble: But Fred, you're a lot of weight!”
— Warren Foster, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Hot Piano
Tagged: piano movers, Fat-Shaming
“Now you see, Boo Boo, I'm smarter than the average Fred Flintstone, hey hey.”
— Yogi Bear, The Flintstones, Season 3: Swedish Visitors
Tagged: Yogi Bear, Boo Boo
“Fred Flintstone: The ring wasn't in the flour canister. So it's got to be in the batter.

[slowly peeks around the corner]
Wilma Flintstone: FRED!

Fred Flintstone: [jumps] AAH!

Wilma Flintstone: What are you peeking around corners for?”
— Wilma Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Engagement Ring
Tagged: Spying, peeking, Snooping
“Your only friend is a buck and the more bucks you got the more friends you got.”
— Warren Foster, The Flintstones, Season 1: No Help Wanted
Tagged: Money, Friends
“Barney Rubble: [Hiding in the TV set] Are you having trouble sleeping at night? It might be because you're a deadbeat. Pay off those annoying TV bills with one big payment, and get a good night's sleep.

Fred Flintstone: [Picks up TV set and starts shaking it] Rubble, I'll get you out of there even if I have to wreck the set!”
— Barney Rubble, The Flintstones, Season 1: No Help Wanted
Tagged: Deadbeat, tv bills
“Fred Flintstone: [after discovering Barney has walked away with the TV set] Are you nuts?

Barney Rubble: But Fred, you told me to be ruthless.

Fred Flintstone: Ruthless? You put that set back or you'll be toothless!”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: No Help Wanted
Tagged: Ruthless
“Fred Flintstone: Who is your bosom buddy, close friend, and lifelong pal?

Barney Rubble: How many guesses do I get?”
— Warren Foster, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Swimming Pool
Tagged: Friendship, insults
“Betty Rubble: [on the phone with Wilma] They haven't spoken to each other for five days. I'm sick and tired of it. I told him to go right over and make up with Fred.

Wilma Flintstone: What did he say?

Betty Rubble: He absolutely refused. So I said to him 'I'm going to invite my mother to come visit for a few weeks if you don't.

Wilma Flintstone: Really? What'd he say to that?

Barney Rubble: [poking his head in the door] Hiya, Wilma!”
— Barney Rubble, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Swimming Pool
Tagged: feuding, Making Up, mothers in law
“[the paperboy throws the newspaper, which is a stone slab, at Fred, knocking him down] Wilma Flintstone: Did you get your paper, dear?

Fred Flintstone: [straining] Yeah, and I'm lucky it only comes once a week.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Flintstone Flyer
Tagged: Slapstick
“2,500 people in Bedrock, and I had to pick this pebblebrain for a neighbor.”
— Fred Flintstone, The Flintstones, Season 1: The Flintstone Flyer
Tagged: Bedrock, Barney Rubble, Pebblebrain
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