1. Home
    2.  › 
  2. Latest

Latest Quotes

“Though it is now possible to get rid of tattoos entirely, it isn't exactly as simple as pressing 'edit, undo' on your regrettable decisions.”
— Zoë Weiner, 8 Things I Wish Someone Told Me About Tattoo Removal
Tagged: Tattoos, Body Modification, Tattoo Removal
“Talk about sex like you’d talk about anything else.”
— Gigi Engle, 4 Ways to Guarantee There's More Feminist Porn in the World
Tagged: Sex, Porn, Feminist Porn, sexuality
“I like thinking about a lot of things at once, but at a certain point, it gets to be too much. And that's when I kind of crumble.”
— Rachel Bloom, Rachel Bloom Is Tired of Rich People Getting Things for Free
Tagged: Celebrities, Mental Health, mental wellness, Self-Care
“I bet on myself, over and over again, and often win. And so on. That being said … I’m not 100% confident everywhere.”
— John Gorman, A Complete List of Places That Are Outside My Comfort Zone
Tagged: Courage, Shy, Uncomfortable, Comfort Zone
“Simply put, goats aren’t pets: They don’t potty train; they don’t box train; and they don’t learn to wait for you to take them on a walk.”
— C. Brian Smith, Goats Are All the Rage Right Now
Tagged: goats, trends, Greatest Of All Time, Goat, livestock, Weird, Pets, Animals
“Sure, mom, I settle down with a nice girl every night, then I'm free the next morning.”
— Tommy DeVito, GoodFellas
Tagged: Promiscuity, Settling Down
“Tommy DeVito: We hit the deer and his paw....What do you call it? The paw.

Jimmy Conway: [Speaking through a mouth full of pasta] The hoof.

Tommy DeVito: It got caught in the grill. I got to hack it off.”
— Tommy DeVito, GoodFellas
Tagged: Roadkill, paw, Deer
“[Tommy mocks at Spider] Oklahoma Kid. That's me. I'm the Oklahoma Kid. You fuckin' varmint! Dance. Dance. YAHOO, YA MOTHERFUCKER! [shoots Spider in the foot]”
— Tommy DeVito, GoodFellas
Tagged: Oklahoma, dance, shooting
“Henry Hill: See? I knew it—I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

Tommy DeVito: You knew what, Henry? See? What? What the fuck is wrong with that?

Henry Hill: When is this?

Tommy DeVito: Tomorrow night.

Henry Hill: I can't tomorrow night, I gotta meet Tuddy.

Tommy DeVito: You could meet Tuddy. You could fucking come early and then still go.

Henry Hill: Tommy, Tommy. Why do you always do this to me?

Tommy DeVito: Don't give me that fucking 'Tommy' shit. What the fuck I asked you for, Henry? I asked you for a favor. I do a lot of fucking favors for you, don't I? I'm trying to bang this fucking broad, you wanna help me out! [view switches to outside of car with view of restaurant, smoke billows from restaurant windows] It's like... uh... ah...

Henry Hill: What?

Tommy DeVito: I don't understand you! She's fucking beautiful. Her fucking family, they live in the Five Towns there. You know these Jew broads got a lot of money. Maybe the family owns the whole fucking block. and you happen to end up with a big fucking score, motherfucker.

Henry Hill: [turning to look at the restaurant] Oh fuck!

Tommy DeVito: What?

Henry Hill: See? With your fucking mouth! [car speeds away]”
— Tommy DeVito, GoodFellas
Tagged: Jews, favors, banging, Broads
“Tommy DeVito: [sitting in car with Henry] The only thing, is she won't go out with me alone, you know?

Henry Hill: No.

Tommy DeVito: No, what?

Henry Hill: No.

Tommy DeVito: No, what, Henry? Who the fuck asked you anything? I didn't even ask you anything, at least hear what I have to say.

Henry Hill: Alright, what?

Tommy DeVito: Okay, what? She don't want to go out with Italians alone. She's prejudiced against Italians. Do you believe that? In this day and age? What the fuck is the world coming to? I can't believe this, prejudiced against Ital—a Jew broad—prejudiced against Italians. Anyway, she won't go out with me alone unless her girlfriend comes with her, so I figured you could come along and go out with her girlfriend.”
— Tommy DeVito, GoodFellas
Tagged: Jews, Italians, prejudiced, Broads
“Stacks Edwards: What time is it?

Tommy DeVito: It's eleven thirty, we're supposed to be there by nine.

Stacks Edwards: Be ready in a minute.

Tommy DeVito: Yeah, you were always fuckin' late, you were late for your own fuckin' funeral. [shoots him]”
— Tommy DeVito, GoodFellas
Tagged: Fuck, Murder, funeral
“Jimmy Conway: What's the fuckin' matter with you? What—what is the fuckin' matter with you? What are you, stupid or what? Tommy, Tommy, I'm kidding with you. What the fuck are you doin'? What are you, a fuckin' sick maniac?

Tommy DeVito: How am I meant to know you're kidding? What you mean, you're kidding? You breaking my fuckin' balls?

Jimmy Conway: I'm fuckin' kidding with you! You fuckin' shoot the guy?

Henry Hill: He's dead.

Tommy DeVito: Good shot. What do you want from me? Good shot. Fuckin' rat anyway. His family's all rats. He'll grow up to be a rat.

Jimmy Conway: You stupid bastard, I can't fuckin' believe you. Now, you're gonna dig the fuckin' thing now. You're gonna dig the hole. You're gonna do it. I got no fuckin' lime. You're gonna do it.

Tommy DeVito: Who the fuck cares? I'll dig the fuckin' hole. I don't give a fuck. What is it, the first hole I dug? Not the first time I dug a hole. I'll fuckin' dig a hole. Where are the shovels?”
— Tommy DeVito, GoodFellas
Tagged: Fuck, Stupid, Bastard, digging holes
“Tommy DeVito: No more shines, Billy.

Billy Batts: What?

Tommy DeVito: I said, no more shines. Maybe you didn't hear about it, you've been away a long time. They didn't go up there and tell you. I don't shine shoes anymore.

Billy Batts: Relax, will ya? Ya flip right out, what's got into you? I'm breaking your balls a little bit, that's all. I'm only kidding with ya...

Tommy DeVito: Sometimes you don't sound like you're kidding, you know, there's a lotta people around...

Billy Batts: I'm only kidding with you, we're having a party, I just came home and I haven't seen you in a long time and I'm breaking your balls, and you're getting fucking fresh. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.

Tommy DeVito: I'm sorry, too. It's OK. No problem.

Billy Batts: OK, salud. [takes a drink] Now go home and get your fuckin' shinebox.

Tommy DeVito: Motherfuckin' mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit!

Billy Batts: [taunting] Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on, come on!

Tommy DeVito: Motherfucking... He bought his fucking button! That fake old tough guy! You bought your fucking button! You motherfuck...Fuck! Keep that motherfucker here, keep him here!
[leaves]”
— Tommy DeVito, GoodFellas
Tagged: Fuck, foney, Stuttering
“Henry Hill: You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny.

Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm funny?

Henry Hill: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy. [laughs]

Tommy DeVito: What do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?

Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's...funny, you know the way you tell the story and everything.

Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it?

Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, you got it all wrong.

Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?

Henry Hill: Jus...

Tommy DeVito: What?

Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're funny.

Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked-up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?

Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!

Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the fuck out of here, Tommy!

Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.”
— Tommy DeVito, GoodFellas
Tagged: Fuck, foney, Stuttering
“Jamaican Rum: Hey, bun! Welcome to the aisle! Want to dance?

Brenda: No thank you, man. I'm quite irie, just being left alone over here, don't you know?”
— Brenda (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: irie, Dancing
“[Camille Toh takes the Potato]
Potato: Oh, yes! Yes! I'm the first to enter eternity!

Carl: Potato, way to go, buddy! That's my guy!

Potato: [being washed] Being bathed by the hands of a God!”
— Potato / Noodle Soup (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Eternity, God
“Douche: Come at me, bro.

Frank: Come at you? What does that mean?

Douche: Fine. You won't come at me? Well, then guess who's coming at you?...ME! [Douche prepares to attack Frank]”
— Douche (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: come at me
“[sees the bag that Douche was in is empty] Shit, I really needed that douche.”
— Camille Toh / Tampon (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Douche
“Before us, everyone knew the awful truth. [flashbacks] Ohhhh, how they screamed. It was a living nightmare. So, we the Non-Perishables created a story, the story of the Great Beyond. A place where the Gods care for you, and all your wildest and wettest dreams would come true. They would go out those doors happy, instead of shitting themselves.”
— Firewater / Tequila / El Guaco (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Living Nightmare, nonperishable
“ [while having sex with his newfound mate] I'm filling you! I'm filling you! I'm blowing my fuckin' load!”
— Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ariel Shaffir, Kyle Hunter, Jonah Hill, Sausage Party
Tagged: Sex, blowing a load
“Carl: [after being insulted by Brenda] Dude, um, how do I say this to you gently? But your girlfriend, um…she's a fucking cunt.

Frank: Shut up! She's fresh as fuck, and you know it.

Carl: Dude, I just don't why you're limiting yourself to one bun. There's plenty of buns out there.

Frank: Because I believe in bun-ogamy. I'm a bun-ogamist, and when a bun this fresh is into you, all you ask is when and how deep.”
— Carl (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: insults, Cunt, bunogamy
“Firewater: The melody came to me one night when I was getting super, super, SUPER baked. Like fuck-a-guy, baked. You know what I'm saying? [Frank shakes his head no] Yeah, he does. The song had a great hook and it caught on, I mean, you know... In time, everyone accepted this false truth. But over the years, things started to get a little...fucky. [flashbacks]  The aisles started changing my verses to support their own views, fucking with Twink's tight-ass lyrics, remixing my shit without my permish... Now, every morning when I hear that song, I'm like, 'What the fuck are you guys saying, hey? Wasn't there a part today about exterminating juice? I didn't write that shit, I love juice. Always have, I mean, juice are hilarious. Who the fuck do these guys think they are?' [back to present] Anyway, at least it's still distracting them from the truth: that they get brutally devoured.”
— Firewater / Tequila / El Guaco (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Distraction, devoured, Fuck, Extermination, juiceicide, Baked
“Douche: Yo! Oh fuck yeah, dude! Somebody call a doctor, ‘cause honestly, this beat is sick!

Beet: Actually, I feel great, real healthy.

Douche: Not you.”
— Douche (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: call a doctor
“I’d like my dreams to be sturdy and robust. I want to dream them all night long and wake up with a fistful of big, chunky memories I can force upon my friends at brunch.”
— Hannah-Rose Yee, One Woman's Rousing Journey Through the Dream Industrial Complex
Tagged: Dreams
“It's better to die a free candy than to live in bondage.”
— Pop Bottle, Sausage Party
“We blaze for real 24/7, no joke, but we also know our shit.”
— Firewater / Tequila / El Guaco (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: blazing, Weed, 420, Shit
“[about to be sliced in half] No! Please-a, no! I've got a famiglia!”
— Italian Tomato / Lettuce (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Family
“Barry: [as the food prepares to fire the drugged toothpicks] Make it rain. [the food shoots the toothpicks at all the people in the store]

Darren: Ow! What the fuck? All right, who did it? Gary, did you just throw this fucking toothpick at me, man?”
— Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ariel Shaffir, Kyle Hunter, Jonah Hill, Sausage Party
Tagged: make it rain
“Douche: What's up, little juicy box? You're leaking too, eh bro? And right out of your fucking dingle. Fucking sucks, right?

Juice Box: Dying...so cold...

Douche: [notices that the juice box is leaking, he gets an idea] Uh-oh. Light bulb.

Light Bulb: Yes?

Douche: No. Not fucking you, dummy.”
— Douche (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Dummy, Fuck
“I have some unsolicited work (life?) advice, which is that if you don’t know how to deal with a problem, or a whole host of problems, try getting up obscenely early.”
— Edith Zimmerman, It’s Astounding How Many Problems Can Be Solved Just by Waking Up Early
Tagged: Waking Up, mornings

Featured Posts

50 Paulo Coelho Quotes That Will Soothe Your Aching Soul 24 'Stranger Things' Quotes To Help Hold You Over Until The Second Season Pick Up Lines For Girls 107 Of The Greatest Single Sentences In Literature 18 Grey's Anatomy Quotes That Were All Too Real For Television 50 Quotes That Prove It Takes Strength To Let Your Vulnerable Side Show

About The Authors

This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.