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- Evan Goldberg
Evan Goldberg Quotes
|Birthday:||May 11, 1982|
|Birthplace:||Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada|
|Educated At:||McGill University|
|Occupations:||Film Director, Film Producer, Screenwriter|
AKA: Evan Goldberg
Birthday: May 11, 1982
Birthplace: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Educated At: McGill University
Occupations: Film Director, Film Producer, Screenwriter
Beet: Actually, I feel great, real healthy.
Douche: Not you.”
Peanut Butter: [screams] I'm gonna fix you, I'm gonna fix this...”
Druggie: [takes the bath salts] Awesome.”
Brenda: No thank you, man. I'm quite irie, just being left alone over here, don't you know?”
Tequila: Uh, it's a pretty confusing sentence, to be honest.”
Pizza: Legs, huh? Look at me! Look at me! I ain't got no legs, you fuck! You ate my goddamn legs!”
Darren: Ow! What the fuck? All right, who did it? Gary, did you just throw this fucking toothpick at me, man?”
Frank: Come at you? What does that mean?
Douche: Fine. You won't come at me? Well, then guess who's coming at you?...ME! [Douche prepares to attack Frank]”
Potato: Oh, yes! Yes! I'm the first to enter eternity!
Carl: Potato, way to go, buddy! That's my guy!
Potato: [being washed] Being bathed by the hands of a God!”
Dale Denton: Well, you've been shot like seven times.”
Twink: We never expired.
Firewater: We are...Immortal. This here's Twink and Grits.
Mr. Grits: They call me Mr. Grits.
Firewater: Eh, Mr. Grits. Whatever.
Mr. Grits: You told him about the crackers?”
Juice Box: Dying...so cold...
Douche: [notices that the juice box is leaking, he gets an idea] Uh-oh. Light bulb.
Light Bulb: Yes?
Douche: No. Not fucking you, dummy.”
Beer Can: When will it end? When he stops drinking us!
Krinkler's Chips, Sandwich, Pop Tart, Tickilish Licorice: Yeah!
Cookies: And stops eating us!
Sandwich: Same here!
Pop Tart: Fuck yeah!
Toilet Paper: And when he stops using us!
Krinkler's Chips: What did they do to you?
Toilet Paper: [nervously backs away] You don't wanna fuckin' know!”
Frank: Shut up! She's fresh as fuck, and you know it.
Carl: Dude, I just don't why you're limiting yourself to one bun. There's plenty of buns out there.
Frank: Because I believe in bun-ogamy. I'm a bun-ogamist, and when a bun this fresh is into you, all you ask is when and how deep.”
Honey Mustard: Oh my God! Did you guys just fucking hear that?
Ketchup: What? What are you looking at? [sees Firewater has vanished] He's gone.
Honey Mustard: Where the fuck did he go? I'm so fucked up, I'm so fucked up! [Ketchup tries to touch Honey Mustard] Jesus! Get the fuck off me! Nobody fucking touch me!”
Brenda: Yeah. Right, Carl. You really think any of these buns are gonna line up to get filled by you? Here's my impression of that happening: 'Oh! Oh! Is he in there yet? Oh, I can't feel him! I don't think he's in there! Oh, wait he is!' It's so sad! I bet you jackrabbit for a quick fifteen seconds. [jackrabbits mockingly]
Brenda: And then you slump over. [Carl glares at her…laughs] I mean, honestly, guys! Who in this package would ever let Carl get up in them? [Another bun raises their hand] Roberta, put your fucking hand down! You're ruining my joke. See? Nobody. That's who.”
Firewater: Very noble, little sausage. But also, very pointless. No one will believe you.
Frank: I have to try...Everyone will die otherwise.
Firewater: Oh, yeah. That's a good point. Fuck me, right?
Frank: Wait. Do you guys have any proof of this?”