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Seth Rogen Quotes

Total quotes: 55
“I just want to be older so I can go to bars. Everything fun in this world happens in bars.”
— Ken Miller, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Carded and Discarded
Tagged: bars, Fun, Drinking Age
“Promises matter. It’s the currency of faith.”
— Jesse Custer, Preacher, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: promises, currency, Faith, Matter
“Once you see that shit, it'll fuck you up for life. Good luck! Have fun!”
— Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ariel Shaffir, Kyle Hunter, Jonah Hill, Sausage Party
Tagged: fuck you up
“They're ain't gods! They're monsters, horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice...FUCK YOU, GODS! I've got a date with oblivion.”
— Honey Mustard (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: gods, monsters, Fuck You, Oblivion
“Douche: Yo! Oh fuck yeah, dude! Somebody call a doctor, ‘cause honestly, this beat is sick!

Beet: Actually, I feel great, real healthy.

Douche: Not you.”
— Douche (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: call a doctor
“You know how they say to never drink and drive? Well, never drink and bone.”
— Ben Stone, Knocked Up
Tagged: Sex
“Ken: I always say, girl plus car equals dead animal.

Lindsay: Are you copying Ken's homework?

Kim: Trying to. He writes like a mental patient.”
— Ken Miller, Freaks and Geeks, Season 1: Dead Dogs and Gym Teachers
Tagged: Women Drivers, Copying Homework, Mental Patient
“'A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.' Proverbs 16:9”
— Jesse Custer, Preacher, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Man, heart, Lord, Directs, Steps, Bible, God
“Perhaps I can be of some assistance. [Darren shoots Gum…regenerates] Matter cannot be created or destroyed, human. You have made a fatal error in judgment. Let me educate you.”
— Gum / Twink / Krinkler's Chips / Pizza (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Matter, Regeneration, Judgment
“[about to be sliced in half] No! Please-a, no! I've got a famiglia!”
— Italian Tomato / Lettuce (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Family
“ [while having sex with his newfound mate] I'm filling you! I'm filling you! I'm blowing my fuckin' load!”
— Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ariel Shaffir, Kyle Hunter, Jonah Hill, Sausage Party
Tagged: Sex, blowing a load
“Misery loves company, does it not? It’s the hope that sets men at one another’s throats here.”
— Cassidy, Preacher, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Misery, Misery loves company, Hope
“I am sorbitol, maltitol, xylitol, mannitol, calcium, carbonite, soy lecithin, vegetable, triglyceride, and talc. But, for expediency's sake. You can call me...Gum.”
— Gum / Twink / Krinkler's Chips / Pizza (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Gum, sorbitol, maltitol, xylitol, mannitol
“Frank: Banana's whole face peeled off, Peanut Butter's wife is dead! Look at him, he's right there.

Peanut Butter: [screams] I'm gonna fix you, I'm gonna fix this...”
— Frank / Sergeant Pepper (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Murder, fix it
“Drug Dealer: Hey, man. Be careful with this. Bath salts are the real deal. People been seeing some crazy shit.

Druggie: [takes the bath salts] Awesome.”
— Druggie (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: bath salts, crazy shit
“[sees the bag that Douche was in is empty] Shit, I really needed that douche.”
— Camille Toh / Tampon (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Douche
“Jamaican Rum: Hey, bun! Welcome to the aisle! Want to dance?

Brenda: No thank you, man. I'm quite irie, just being left alone over here, don't you know?”
— Brenda (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: irie, Dancing
“What I fear, is that if comedies start going straight to TV, it will shrink them. Because people will view movie theaters only for big epic movies that are these spectacles.”
— Seth Rogen, Seth & Tyler: Tyler, The Creator Interviews Seth Rogen
Tagged: Comedy Movies, Digital Formats, interviews
“You don't want to meet a chick in a bar man...you gotta go to other places. You gotta go to spin class, a farmer's market...just somewhere social, non-threatening”
— Officer Michaels, Superbad
Tagged: Dating, Relationships, Love, Movie Quotes
“I’m confused that some people think civility is comparable to humanity.”
— Seth Rogen
Tagged: civility, humanity, socialization, social interaction, Being a Person
“Just ask a question, that's it. Because women do not care about what you have to say at all and all they want to do is talk about themselves.”
— Cal, 40 Year Old Virgin
Tagged: Dating, Advice, Movie Quotes
“The idea that Nazis and people who oppose Nazis are somehow equatable is the most batshit fucking crazy shit I've ever fucking heard.”
— Seth Rogen
Tagged: Charlottesville
“Douche: What part of 'I want the sausage and the bun dead, if you see them, come and get me. And if I found out that you didn't come and get me, or if you couldn't find them, I'll fucking kill your ass.' did you not understand, Tequila?

Tequila: Uh, it's a pretty confusing sentence, to be honest.”
— Douche (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Threats, Kill, Syntax
“Druggie: You're all alive and looking at me with your...with your gloves and your...your little shoes, and your arms and your legs...

Pizza: Legs, huh? Look at me! Look at me! I ain't got no legs, you fuck! You ate my goddamn legs!”
— Druggie (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Pizza
“Sore winner. You can't be a sore winner.”
— Seth Rogen, This Is the End
Tagged: Sore Winner, Lesson
“Whenever you feel shitty, that's cause of gluten.”
— Seth Rogen, This Is the End
Tagged: Gluten , Sick, Unwell
“I'm not a soft taco, I'm a hard horny taco.”
— Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ariel Shaffir, Kyle Hunter, Jonah Hill, Sausage Party
Tagged: soft taco, hard taco, Horny
“Barry: [as the food prepares to fire the drugged toothpicks] Make it rain. [the food shoots the toothpicks at all the people in the store]

Darren: Ow! What the fuck? All right, who did it? Gary, did you just throw this fucking toothpick at me, man?”
— Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Ariel Shaffir, Kyle Hunter, Jonah Hill, Sausage Party
Tagged: make it rain
“We blaze for real 24/7, no joke, but we also know our shit.”
— Firewater / Tequila / El Guaco (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: blazing, Weed, 420, Shit
“How hurt you want him? How far do I go? One punch? Two?”
— Jesse Custer, Preacher, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: hurt, far, One Punch, Two Punch, Violence
“Douche: Come at me, bro.

Frank: Come at you? What does that mean?

Douche: Fine. You won't come at me? Well, then guess who's coming at you?...ME! [Douche prepares to attack Frank]”
— Douche (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: come at me
“I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca.”
— Evan, Superbad
Tagged: Date, Give Up
“You know what foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds!”
— Seth, Superbad
Tagged: food, shape, Delicious
“Welcome! We are here to destroy you.”
— B.O.B. (voice), Monsters vs Aliens
Tagged: Welcome, Destroy
“It's me, Jonah Hill, America's sweetheart. ”
— Jonah Hill, This Is the End
Tagged: Sweetheart, Darling
“No sermon today. You’re welcome for that.”
— Jesse Custer, Preacher, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Sermon, Welcome, Canceled, You're Welcome
“They are eating CHILDREN! Fucking CHILDREN!”
— Gum / Twink / Krinkler's Chips / Pizza (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: eating children, Fucking, Cannibalism
“[Camille Toh takes the Potato]
Potato: Oh, yes! Yes! I'm the first to enter eternity!

Carl: Potato, way to go, buddy! That's my guy!

Potato: [being washed] Being bathed by the hands of a God!”
— Potato / Noodle Soup (voice), Sausage Party
Tagged: Eternity, God
“Red: I'm trying to decide how stoned I am and just how on the verge of death am I right now. Like, am I seeing shit because I'm stone or because I have no blood left in my body.

Dale Denton: Well, you've been shot like seven times.”
— Red, Pineapple Express
Tagged: stoned, Death, Blood, Shit, shot, Irony
“Hermione just stole all our shit.”
— Danny McBride, This Is the End
Tagged: upset, stole, Robbed
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