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“Police Chief Grady: I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamoles. Smy?

Officer Smy: Yeah, chief. I'll have a CHINCHILLA!

Rabbit: I don't get it. Tacos?

Thorny: They think I'm Mexican.

Rabbit: You're not Mexican?”
— Chief Grady, Super Troopers
Tagged: Tacos, Enchiladas, guacamole, Mexican
“Desperation is a stinky cologne.”
— Chief Grady, Super Troopers
Tagged: Desperation, Stinky, cologne
“Mac: Oh, c'mon, we're like the sons you never had.

Captain O'Hagan: If you were my son, Mac, I would've smothered you by now.

Mac: Smothered me in gravy, you big dirty man.”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: Sons, dirty, gravy
“Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun!

Thorny: [referring to Farva] Yeah, and his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

Foster: [after a pause] Which... makes them not really shenanigans at all.

Mac: [in a silly voice] Evil shenanigans!”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: shenanigans, cruel, tragic, Evil
“Bear...bear-fucker, do you need assistance?”
— Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Paul Soter, Steve Lemme, Erik Stolhanske, Super Troopers
Tagged: Bear, bear-fucker
“[In an Irish accent] I'll believe ya when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet.”
— Captain O'Hagan, Super Troopers
Tagged: Shit, Purple, sherbet
“[licking back window of police car] The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.”
— College Boy 3, Super Troopers
Tagged: Snozzberries
“License and registration...chicken-fucker.”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: license, registration, chicken-fucker
“Farva: Hey, let's pop some Viagras and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners.

Thorny: You know, Farva, only you can make a dark man blush. And no, we're not doing it.”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: Viagra, boner, Blush
“Farva: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.

Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Double bacon cheeseburger. It's for a cop.

Farva: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?

Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good. [into mic] Don't spit in that cop's burger.

Farva: Yeah, thanks.

Second Dimpus Guy: Roger, holding the spit.

Farva: Gimme a pie... apple.

Dimpus Burger Guy: Want me to hold the spit? Hah, just kidding officer Farva. [pause] Want me to dimpa-size your meal for 25 cents?

Farva: Want me to punch-a-size your face, for free?

Dimpus Burger Guy: It's only 25 cents, and look how much more you get.

Thorny: Look, kid, he doesn't want it.

Farva: I can handle this, Thorn. I don't want it!

Dimpus Burger Guy: Uhh, right. Beverage?

Farva: Gimme a liter o' cola.

Dimpus Burger Guy: What?

Farva: [Annoyed] A liter o' cola.

Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] liter cola? Do we sell liter cola?

Thorny: Will you just order a large, Farva?

Farva: I don't want a large, Farva. I want a goddamn liter o' cola!

Dimpus Burger Guy: [to Farva] I don't know what that is!

Farva: [slowly starts shouting] liter is French for... [grabs burger kid by shirt] ...give me my fuckin' cola before I break VOUS FUCKIN' LIP!”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: liter, fuckin', cola
“Captain O'Hagan: I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy who says ‘shenanigans.'

Mac: Hey, Farva, what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?

Farva: You mean Shenanigans?

Mac: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Thorny: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO. [as they offer the Captain their pistols]”
— Captain O'Hagan, Super Troopers
Tagged: shenanigans, swear to god, mozzarella sticks
“[Foster and Mac have pulled a man over for speeding and are deciding what game to play]
Mac: All right, how about 'Cat Game?'

Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?

Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.

Foster: Ten? Starting right 'meow?' [Mac laughs - they walk up to the car, and Foster taps on the driver side]

Larry Johnson: Sorry about the...

Foster: All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration. [the man hands him his license] Your registration? Hurry up meow. (2) [Mac ticks off two fingers]

Larry Johnson: Sorry. [the man laughs a little]

Foster: Is there something funny here, boy?

Larry Johnson: Oh, no.

Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister...Larry Johnson? [pause] All right meow, (3) where were we?

Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?

Foster: Am I saying meow? [Mac puts his hands up for the fourth one, but makes an 'eehhh' facial expression, as he is considering the last one]

Larry Johnson: I thought...

Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, (4) do you know how fast you were going? [man laughs] Meow. (5) What is so damn funny?

Larry Johnson: I could have sworn you said meow.

Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? [Mac is gut-busting laughing] Am I drinking milk from a saucer? [feigned anger] Do you see me eating mice? [Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now] You stop laughing right meow! (6)

Larry Johnson: [the man stops and swallows hard] Yes, sir.

Foster: Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. (8) It's the law. [rips off the ticket and hands it to the man] Not so funny meow, (9) is it? [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows] Meow! (10)”
— Foster, Super Troopers
Tagged: meow, cat game, Head Games
“He’s our Guy Next Door, a 'thoughtful woman’s leading man,' who is smart, hot, kind, great in bed, sensitive, caring, attractive and impossibly easy to be with, who also loves us, and only us, and always has, and always will, and who fights for the rights of all women and the environment. (Sorry.)”
— Tracy Moore, Why Your Girlfriend Loves Mark Ruffalo So Much
Tagged: LOL, Mark Ruffalo, Boy Next Door, crushes, Celebrities, Celebrity Crushes
“Hey baby, what’s your Venus sign?”
— Alice Sparkly Kat, What You Need In A Relationship, According To Your Venus Sign
Tagged: Astrology, Love and Astrology, Zodiac Signs, Venus Sign
“There is no magic gauge in the cockpit that shows that there is a phone with its cellular connection or Wi-Fi not turned off.”
— Allison Markey, What Really Happens When You Don't Turn Off Your Cell Phone on a Plane?
Tagged: Planes, Cellphones, Air Travel, Technology
“It’s this willingness to make a blood sacrifice of minorities in exchange for 'normalcy' or prosperity that has observers drawing uncomfortable comparisons between then and now.”
— The Conversation, How the Nazis destroyed the first gay rights movement
Tagged: History, World War II, Nazi Germany, Nazis, LGBT Issues, gay rights, LGBT Rights Movement
“If you are ovulating, you may be more likely to feel cramping after sex.”
— Nicole Pajer, Is It Normal To Cramp After Sex?
Tagged: Sex, cramps
“Always remember that something that may seem so small to you could make a world of difference to somebody else.”
— Jodi Taylor, How To Be Your Best Self In 60 Seconds
Tagged: Being your best self, Happiness, Self-Care, Self-Love, kindness
“Nothing against being fresh faced, which I do a lot of on the weekends, but it's my personal preference to layer on some coverage simply because it makes me feel much more confident in myself and ready to take on the day!”
— Sarah Han, This Is Why Switching From Full-Coverage Foundation To BB Cream Has Been The Best Decision For My Skin
Tagged: skincare, Natural Makeup, Natural Skin, Fresh Face, Makeup, beauty
“I actually hate coffee. Without the bells and whistles, it’s just a bleak cup of a blackhole.”
— Leandra Medine, Why Are My Morning Lattes Starting to Taste Like Milkshakes?
Tagged: food, Coffee, Sweets, Sugar, nutrition
“I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.”
— Unknown, 40 Dumb Jokes Based On Smart Wordplay That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Tagged: Funny Jokes, Puns
“What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!”
— Unknown, 40 Dumb Jokes Based On Smart Wordplay That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud
Tagged: Funny Jokes, Puns
“Right after a breakup, ENFPs typically tuck their emotions away in a tiny box and store them somewhere safe.”
— Jenna Birch, The Best Way to Get Over a Breakup, According to Your Myers Briggs
Tagged: Myers-Briggs, breakup
“There's nothing more frightening than driving with a live goddamn cougar next to you.”
— Reese Bobby, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Tagged: Fear, Cougar, Goddamn
“Walker: Shut up in here! I'm trying to sleep!

Texas Ranger: One of you turds is about to get smacked in the mouth!”
— Walker Bobby, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Tagged: Threats, shut up
“Jean Girard: Bon. So, what if you just said: 'I love really thin pancakes'? That is a fair compromise, no?

Kyle: That is a fair compromise.

Herschell: Very fair, actually.

Ricky Bobby: No! Because then everyone would know I really meant crêpes!

Kyle: That's actually a pretty good compromise right there.

Jean Girard: Why do you want me to break your arm so badly?

Ricky Bobby: You don't understand. You don't understand because you don't understand liberty. You don't understand freedom. So you put a crack in my arm like the crack in the Liberty Bell! You hear me?

Cal Naughton, Jr.: [leans down to talk to Ricky in a low voice] Hey. This is just between you and me, okay? I mean, forget all these other guys. But he did give you a pretty decent out. But it's your call.

Ricky Bobby: [whispering] What do you think?

Cal Naughton, Jr.: Don't say it.

Ricky Bobby: Yeah. I'm not gonna say it. Nope. Break it, Pepé Le Pew!

Jean Girard: As you wish. [He breaks Ricky's arm]

Ricky Bobby: [in pain] He actually did it!”
— Ricky Bobby, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Tagged: Pancakes, Compromise, Threats
“Cal Naughton, Jr.: Did he just say 'husband'?

Herschell: Wow...Dennit hired a gay Frenchman as your teammate!

Ricky Bobby: The room's startin' to spin real fast...cause of...cause of all the gayness. Cal...I love you. [Ricky faints]

Cal Naughton, Jr.: Ricky! Ricky! OH GOD!”
— Cal Naughton, Jr., Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Tagged: Frenchman, gayness
“Lucy Bobby: So how was your day driving with you father?

Ricky Bobby: Well, let's see. I got mauled by a cougar, my Crystal Gayle shirt is ruined, and I didn't learn dick about driving. Other than that, it was great.”
— Lucy Bobby, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Tagged: crystal gayle, dick
“Reese Bobby: Now, you show me the DNA test and then maybe I'll, uh...I'll say hello to these swamp rats.

Frank: [from the house next door] You people shut the hell up! I got a wife in an oxygen tent tryin' to sleep!

Reese Bobby: You better shut the hell up or I'll come over there and rip a hole in that tent!

Lucy Bobby: Yeah, shut up, Frank!

Walker: Go shave your balls, you dusty old fart!

Reese Bobby: Okay, I guess they are my grandkids.”
— Reese Bobby, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Tagged: insults, swamp rats, shave your balls, Fart
“Ricky Bobby: I'm going fast again!

Cal Naughton, Jr.: How fast is he going?

Lucius Washington: 26 miles per hour.”
— Lucius Washington, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Tagged: speed, Dunning-Kruger

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About The Authors

This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.