1. People
    2.  › 
  2. Erik Stolhanske
Erik Stolhanske photo

Erik Stolhanske Quotes

Total quotes: 48
“No, Farva, you are under arrest for being a complete and total fuckhead.”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: you're under arrest, fuckhead
“[Chugging maple syrup] Three...two...one...DO EET. Oh, go, girlfriend.”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: chugging, Do It, maple syrup
“Foster: [explaining his low number of citations issued] I can't make them speed.

Captain O'Hagan: Try hiding.”
— Foster, Super Troopers
Tagged: Speeding, Hiding
“Farva: Hey, let's pop some Viagras and issue tickets with raging, mega-huge boners.

Thorny: You know, Farva, only you can make a dark man blush. And no, we're not doing it.”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: Viagra, boner, Blush
“Captain O'Hagan: There was a time when we'd take a guy like you in the back and beat you with a hose. Now you've got your goddamned unions.

Farva: Cap'n...you know I'm not a pro-union guy.”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: Police Brutality, Unions, Goddamned
“Captain O’Hagan: What did you find out at the weigh station?

Mac: My cruiser weighs 16,000 kilograms!”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: weigh station, kilograms, cruiser
“[In an Irish accent] I'll believe ya when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet.”
— Captain O'Hagan, Super Troopers
Tagged: Shit, Purple, sherbet
“[repeated line]
Thorny: Enhance.

Captain O'Hagan: Just print the damn thing!”
— Captain O'Hagan, Super Troopers
Tagged: enhance, damned, Impatience
“Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?”
— Foster, Super Troopers
Tagged: Cat, milk, saucer, Mice
“Thorny: [finishes syrup, slams bottle on table] I am all that is, man!

[Rabbit struggles to finish]

Mac: What’s a-matter Rabbit, your mother teach you to chug?”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: chugging, Syrup
“Farva: Don’t call me radio, unit 91.

Mac: Then don’t call me unit 91, radio.

Farva: Are you done?”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: radio
“Mac: Oh, c'mon, we're like the sons you never had.

Captain O'Hagan: If you were my son, Mac, I would've smothered you by now.

Mac: Smothered me in gravy, you big dirty man.”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: Sons, dirty, gravy
“Thorny: I'll give you the fat guy for Foster. And uh, how about that stupid guy for Rabbit.

Ursula: Well, you're going to have to be more specific, they're both kind of fat and stupid.”
— Thorny, Super Troopers
Tagged: fat, Stupid, be specific
“[licking back window of police car] The snozzberries taste like snozzberries.”
— College Boy 3, Super Troopers
Tagged: Snozzberries
“[Mac gets shot in the crotch while wearing the steel cup ]
Foster: How you feelin' there, Mac?

Mac: Good enough...to fuck...your mother.”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: fuck your mother
“Who can say 'meow' the most? You guys are real crazy, hey look out for these guys.”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: meow, crazy
“Just cleaning out the old locker, she stinks like ass but I'll sure miss her...I guess you could say that about all my girls.”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: Stinks, ass
“Foster: Okie silly dilly dokie-o. I'm an idiot.

Mac: That's true.”
— Foster, Super Troopers
Tagged: Idiot, insults
“Foster: Okie silly dilly dokie-o. I’m an idiot.

Mac: That’s true.”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: Idiot, okie doke, insults
“[Mac gets shot in the crotch while wearing the steel cup]

Foster: How you feelin’ there, Mac?

Mac: Good enough...to fuck...your mother.”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: fuck your mother
“License and registration...chicken-fucker.”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: license, registration, chicken-fucker
“Police Chief Grady: I will have the enchilada platter with two tacos and no guacamoles. Smy?

Officer Smy: Yeah, chief. I'll have a CHINCHILLA!

Rabbit: I don't get it. Tacos?

Thorny: They think I'm Mexican.

Rabbit: You're not Mexican?”
— Chief Grady, Super Troopers
Tagged: Tacos, Enchiladas, guacamole, Mexican
“Captain O'Hagan: Bulletproof cup, huh? I invented this gag, Rabbit. Only in my day, the rookie got naked. [fires through the window, accidentally shooting out the glass] And we also used blanks. You're a sick motherfucker, Mac.

Mac: Thanks, Chief!”
— Captain O'Hagan, Super Troopers
Tagged: Bulletproof, sick motherfucker
“Bear...bear-fucker, do you need assistance?”
— Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Paul Soter, Steve Lemme, Erik Stolhanske, Super Troopers
Tagged: Bear, bear-fucker
“It stinks like sex in here.”
— Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Paul Soter, Steve Lemme, Erik Stolhanske, Super Troopers
Tagged: stink, Sex
“Rabbit: [lifting soap out of coffee] Oh, look, a bar of soap.

Farva: Oohoohoh shit. I got you good, you fucker!

Mac: Awesome prank, Farva.

Farva: Better'n the crap you pull, Mac.”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: Pranks, Shit
“You boys like Mex-i-co? Yee-haww.”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: Mexico, yee-haw
“Desperation is a stinky cologne.”
— Chief Grady, Super Troopers
Tagged: Desperation, Stinky, cologne
“Thorny: Where are your shoes?

Foster: What are you, the shoe police?

Thorny: I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar.

Foster: Black magic only works on the rookie.

Thorny: That's brown magic.”
— Thorny, Super Troopers
Tagged: black magic, shoe police
“Captain O’Hagan: Did you guys put in for any transfers yet?

Mac: I applied for a guard job—at the post office.

[collective groan]

Thorny: Hey, you’ll finally be able to shoot someone.”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: Going Postal, shooting
“Thorny: [upon seeing Farva in a local cop uniform] What the fuck, Farva?

Captain O'Hagan: What are you doing wearing that uniform in my station?

Farva: Looks who's talking 'Denim Dan'! You look like the President and CEO of Levi-Strauss!”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: WTF, Uniform, CEO, Levi-Strauss
“Littering and... littering and... littering and smokin' the reefer.”
— Thorny, Super Troopers
Tagged: littering, Reefer, Marijuana, Slacker
“You boys like Mex-i-co? Yee-haww!”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: Mexico, yee-haw
“Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun!

Thorny: [referring to Farva] Yeah, and his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

Foster: [after a pause] Which...makes them not really shenanigans at all.

Mac: [in a silly voice] Evil shenanigans!”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: shenanigans, Fun, cruel, tragic
“Mac: How’s your shooting, Thorny?

Thorny: Good. I’ve been dead on all morning.

Mac: What about that little guy?

[points to a bullet hole in the shooting target’s neck]

Thorny: Who, that little guy? I wouldn’t worry about that little guy.”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: shooting, Understatement
“Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun!

Thorny: [referring to Farva] Yeah, and his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

Foster: [after a pause] Which... makes them not really shenanigans at all.

Mac: [in a silly voice] Evil shenanigans!”
— Mac, Super Troopers
Tagged: shenanigans, cruel, tragic, Evil
“Captain O'Hagan: I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the next guy who says ‘shenanigans.'

Mac: Hey, Farva, what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?

Farva: You mean Shenanigans?

Mac: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Thorny: OOOOOOOOOOOOOO. [as they offer the Captain their pistols]”
— Captain O'Hagan, Super Troopers
Tagged: shenanigans, swear to god, mozzarella sticks
“Thorny: Are you okay?

College Boy 2: Yeah, sure.

Thorny: Yes sir?

College Boy 2: Yes sir.

Thorny: No, did you say 'yes sir.'?

Rabbit: I think he said 'yeah, sure.'

College Boy 1: What'd you say man?

College Boy 2: When I said, 'yeah, sure', but what... literally what I said was 'yeah, sure, sir.'

Thorny: So you are okay then?

College Boy 2: Yes sir. [sounds like 'yeah sure']”
— College Boy 2, Super Troopers
Tagged: yeah sure, yes sir, Homonyms
“[Farva brings the boys a round of coffee, and has left a surprise in Rabbit's]
Rabbit: [dryly] Oh, look, a bar of soap.

Farva: Oh, shit, I got you good, you fucker!

Mac: Awesome prank, Farva.

Farva: Better than the crap you pull, Mac!

Captain O'Hagan: Look, fellas...

Mac: [to Rabbit] Bite it, rook! You'll make him look like a dick!

Rabbit: Nah...

Captain O'Hagan: Every Thursday night I walk into the lodge to play Hearts... [Mac persists in goading Rabbit as O'Hagan continues]

Mac: Seriously, rook, bite it. Do it. Don't be a wuss!

Captain O'Hagan: ...and they always have my Old-Fashioned just waiting there...

Mac: Don't be a wuss, bite it!

Captain O'Hagan: ...I like that. I like it here...

Mac: Bite it. Bite it!

Captain O'Hagan: [Fed up] Oh, hell! Give me the goddamn soap!

[He grabs the soap, takes a bite, and spits it at Mac]”
— Captain O'Hagan, Super Troopers
Tagged: Prank, soap, Hearts, bite it
“Farva: Give me a double bacon cheeseburger.

Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Double bacon cheeseburger. It's for a cop.

Farva: What the hell's that all about? You gonna spit in it now?

Dimpus Burger Guy: No, I just told him that so he makes it good. [into mic] Don't spit in that cop's burger.

Farva: Yeah, thanks.

Second Dimpus Guy: Roger, holding the spit.

Farva: Gimme a pie... apple.

Dimpus Burger Guy: Want me to hold the spit? Hah, just kidding officer Farva. [pause] Want me to dimpa-size your meal for 25 cents?

Farva: Want me to punch-a-size your face, for free?

Dimpus Burger Guy: It's only 25 cents, and look how much more you get.

Thorny: Look, kid, he doesn't want it.

Farva: I can handle this, Thorn. I don't want it!

Dimpus Burger Guy: Uhh, right. Beverage?

Farva: Gimme a liter o' cola.

Dimpus Burger Guy: What?

Farva: [Annoyed] A liter o' cola.

Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] liter cola? Do we sell liter cola?

Thorny: Will you just order a large, Farva?

Farva: I don't want a large, Farva. I want a goddamn liter o' cola!

Dimpus Burger Guy: [to Farva] I don't know what that is!

Farva: [slowly starts shouting] liter is French for... [grabs burger kid by shirt] ...give me my fuckin' cola before I break VOUS FUCKIN' LIP!”
— Farva, Super Troopers
Tagged: liter, fuckin', cola
loading next page...