1. People
    2.  › 
  2. Mindy Kaling
Mindy Kaling photo

Mindy Kaling Quotes

Total quotes: 139
“That is not brightly colored. Or shaped like a dinosaur. Hold on guys. It’s broccoli! Blah!”
— Disgust (voice), Inside Out
Tagged: brightly colored, Dinosaur, broccoli, Gross, food
“There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.”
— Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?(And Other Concerns)
Tagged: Sleeping, Tired, Nature
“One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you struggle to find things to talk about.”
— Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
Tagged: Friendship, Love, Laughter
“I want you to rub butter on my foot...Pam, please? I have Country Crock.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: The Injury
Tagged: butter, Foot, Country Crock, Pain, Relief
“Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 4: Money
Tagged: mind games, don't play mind games, what are you thinking
“Maya: Have you ever had the feeling you've gone down the wrong path? Like, somewhere along the line you've made a bad choice and now it's too late to go back?

Kash: I feel like that literally every day.”
— Maya, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Season 1: Kash with a K
Tagged: Wrong Path, Bad Feeling, Choices
“I think when men hear that women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that's not it. It's a commitment to not floating around anywhere. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life.”
— Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?
“I want Steve Carell to play Ted Cruz in a biopic and I want to write it”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Ted Cruz, Movies, writer, Politics
“Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.”
— Mindy Kaling, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)
Tagged: Confidence, Life, Makeup
“I just need to ride out this minor humiliation until I find my Kanye.”
— Mindy Kaling, The Mindy Project
Tagged: Love, Breakups, Heartbreak, strength, Relationships
“I want a guy who wants to curl up on a Friday night and watch Netflix.”
— Mindy Kaling, Why Not Me?
Tagged: Dating, Netflix, cuddling, H4D-5
“I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get and go sit in an air-conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch was paid for. That is the life.”
— Stanley Hudson, The Office, Season 7: Classy Christmas
Tagged: humor, jury duty, Lazy, Judgmental, Civic Duty
“Ryan: Do you have a question, Kelly?


Kelly: Yeah, I have a lot of questions. Number one: how dare you?”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 4: Night Out
Tagged: questions to ask someone who hurt you, How Dare You
“In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 7: Classy Christmas
Tagged: Merry Christmas, Christmas, Fear
“Whitney: You look like the perfume lady at Bloomingdales.

Leighton: That is the meanest thing you could've said to me.”
— Whitney Chase, The Sex Lives of College Girls, Season 1: Kappa
Tagged: Bloomingdales, mean, Insult, Simile Examples
“Yes it is true! I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service. I need a username and I have a great one. Little Kid Lover. That way people will know exactly where my priorities are at.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: Take Your Daughter to Work Day
Tagged: True, Online Dating, username, Little Kid Lover, Priorities, Pedophile
“Michael: You wanna hear a lie?

Toby: What?

Michael: I... think you're great. You're my best friend.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 5: Frame Toby
Tagged: Liar, Best Friends
“Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 8: After Hours
Tagged: Bored, Scream, dramatic, Drama Queen, humor
“The idea of sitting through a musical makes me want to light myself on fire.”
— Bela Malhotra, The Sex Lives of College Girls, Season 1: Le Tuteur
Tagged: melodramatic, Musical, Fire
“The Civil War history industry has conveniently forgotten about the battle of Schrute Farms. Whatever. I'm over it. It's just grossly irresponsible.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 8: Gettysburg
Tagged: History, Civil War, irresponsible, erasure, Forgotten
“Tough day. Yes. But I feel good. I put the office in their place, took a bunch of painkillers, drank a bottle of wine, took my pants off. I just feel good.”
— Andy Bernard, The Office, Season 8: Test the Store
Tagged: Drunk, Wine, painkillers, Good Day, Tough, pants
“You guys I'm like really smart now. You don't even know. You could ask me, Kelly what's the biggest company in the world? And I'd be like, 'blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.' Giving you the exact right answer.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 7: Nepotism
Tagged: funny responses when people call you dumb
“Kelly: If I was you, I would just like, freak out and get really drunk, and then tell someone I was pregnant. 

Pam: Okay, that's a lot of good ideas. Thanks.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 3: Phyllis' Wedding
Tagged: what happens when you get drunk, weddings are emotional, fake pregnancy
“Oscar: I wonder how many phone calls you're missing while you're teaching us to answer calls.

Kelly: I know, right? Probably a lot.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 3: Product Recall
Tagged: phone calls
“We're both allergic to the same tree nuts. And I've been in love with you for a long time.”
— Duffy, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Season 1: Kash with a K
Tagged: allergic, Tree Nuts, Love, In love
“My ex is meeting my sex. Which is always scary, you know? And not just because you think they might talk about your penis. That's just part of it.”
— Andy Bernard, The Office, Season 8: Christmas Wishes
Tagged: Ex, Sex, Significant Other, awkward, scary, Uncomfortable, Nervous, penis
“I'm gonna intimidate him, ok? Watch this....So anyways, she said that is the biggest penis I have ever scene and I said I know! That's why I brought you to the penis museum, where tickets are a thousand dollars.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 7: The Sting
Tagged: Intimidating Men, Intimidation
“We're already enough of a cliché without you pretending you're going to leave your wife.”
— Maya, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Season 1: Kash with a K
Tagged: cliche, Wife, Pretend
“Look, we don't have power over when guys treat us like shit. But what we can control is how much we let it affect us.”
— Bela Malhotra, The Sex Lives of College Girls, Season 1: Welcome to Essex
Tagged: Men, Control, Feelings, Relationships
“Meredith: I thought you're not supposed to wear white to a wedding.

Kelly: I know but there was an emergency. I look really good in white. ”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 3: Phyllis' Wedding
Tagged: Wedding Dress, What To Wear To A Wedding
“I don't want any special treatment, Pam. I just want you to treat me like you would some family member who's undergone some sort of serious physical trauma. I don't think that's too much to ask.”
— Michael Scott, The Office, Season 2: The Injury
Tagged: special treatment, family member, physical trauma, too much to ask
“Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me anymore unless I threaten to kill myself.”
— Kelly Kapoor, The Office, Season 7: Classy Christmas
Tagged: Threat, Ultimatums, humor, dramatic, Drama Queen
“I love you. And I've never said that to anybody. Well, my mom, and one time to LeBron James when I saw him at the grocery store.”
— Craig, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Season 1: Kash with a K
Tagged: Love, Saying I Love You, lebron james
“Bela: Monogamous sex hits different.

Whitney: Bela, it's been one night.”
— Bela Malhotra, The Sex Lives of College Girls, Season 2: Taking Shots
Tagged: Monogamy, Relationships
“Kanye West in the streets, Mae West in the sheets said Mindy Lahiri at a staff meeting to a chorus of boos.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Sex, Kanye West, mae west, Career
“Like you know the whole cast of Mad Max Fury Road had major BO but it was so badass so who cares?”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Movies, body odor, Smell
“When people Instagram inspirational quotes it makes me feel like their lives are falling apart.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Inspirational, Instagram, Motivational, Quotes
“Don't ever tell me the person you think I look like. It will offend me, and my reaction will offend you.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: offended, comparison, reactions
“Making a murderer or the first Serial? I need to know which murder thing to be obsessed with. Thanks.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: Murder, Television, obsessions
“WHAT. Sherlock Holmes brother also created the show Sherlock?! Oh man he really is smart.”
— Mindy Kaling, via twitter.com
Tagged: sherlock, Writing, Intelligence
loading next page...