Jerry SeinfeldFictional Character
Birthday April 29, 1954
Educated At Queens College, City University Of New York
Nationality United States Of America
Occupations Television Actor, Voice Actor, Comedian, Film Producer, Screenwriter
Spouse Jessica Seinfeld
Total quotes (249)
Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but...I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made in my entire life has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of life, be it something to wear, something to eat…it's all been wrong.
Jake: Well, maybe I don’t use my exclamation points as haphazardly as you do.
Elaine: You don’t think that someone having a baby warrants an exclamation point.
Jake: Hey look, I just chalked down the message. I didn’t know I was required to capture the mood of each caller.
Elaine: I just thought you would be a little more excited about a friend of mine having a baby.
Jake: OK, I’m excited. I just don’t happen to like exclamation points.
Elaine: Well, you know Jake, you should learn to use them. Like the way I’m talking right now, I would put an exclamation point at the end of all these sentences! On this one! And on that one!
Jake: Well, you can put one on this one: I’m leaving!
Jerry: This isn’t a good time.
Telemarketer: When would be a good time to call back, sir?
Jerry: I have an idea, why don’t you give me your home number and I’ll call you back later?
Telemarketer: Umm, we’re not allowed to do that.
Jerry: Oh, I guess because you don’t want strangers calling you at home.
Telemarketer: Umm, no.
Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel.