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Adam Sandler Quotes

Total quotes: 123
“Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don’t get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: back to school
“Henry: See what happens when you play with sharks.

Ula: Sharks are like dogs, they only bite when you touch their private parts.”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: Dogs, Sharks, private parts
“Henry: Do you have any idea who I am?

Lucy: No.

Henry: No. That sucks.”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: Fame, Obscurity, Sucks
“[to Lucy] Good morning. Lucy! Lucy! Hey, hey, hey. Okay, I know this is hard for you to understand right now, but we are actually seeing each other.”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: Dating, Good Morning
“[pointing to Vanessa's older lover] Sonny, is that the man with the old balls?”
— Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath, Big Daddy
Tagged: Ageism, old balls
“Sonny: Say 'Happy Halloween'.

Reluctant Trick-or-Treat Giver: Happy Halloween.

Sonny: Yeah, next year be prepared!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Halloween, Trick or Treat, be prepared
“Beaver Breath: You have no right to be here. This Apache land.

Will Patch: And what you gonna do about it, beaver breath?

Beaver Breath: How he know my name?”
— Will Patch, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Land, apache, Beaver, Breath
“Remember, you're still going to be you on vacation. If you are sad where you are and then you get on a plane to Italy, the you in Italy will be the same sad you from before, just in a new place.”
— Adam Sandler, Adam Sandler's SNL Skit With A Surprisingly Important Message About Mental Health
Tagged: SNL, Mental Health Awareness
“O’Doyle: [Throws the dodgeball at Billy as he walks on to the playground]

Billy Madison: [Catches the ball one-handed] Now you’re all in big, BIG trouble.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: dodgeball, big trouble
“Old Hawaiian Man: Are you staring at me or her? 'Cause you're starting to freak me out.

Henry: Settle down and eat your pancakes, huh.”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: staring, Pancakes
“Henry: I don't think that's an option, Lisa.

Linda: Linda.

Henry: I know. I changed your name for your protection.”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: alias, Protection
“[Discussing Vanessa's new senior citizen boyfriend]
Vanessa: He has a five-year plan.

Sonny: What is it? 'Don't die'?”
— Tim Herlihy, Adam Sandler, Steve Franks, Big Daddy
Tagged: five-year-plan, Senior Citizen, Ageism
“[Julian is taking a leak]
Julian: How come you're not going?

Sonny: Because I don't have to go. Only you and my grandfather go every thirty seconds.”
— Julian 'Frankenstien' McGrath, Big Daddy
Tagged: Frequent Urination, Prostate
“Sonny: Get cleaned up and we'll go to Barney's.

Julian: Barney?

Sonny: Not that Barney, a different Barney. A much more expensive Barney.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: barney, expensive
“Abner DoubleDay: [after credits] Before you go...Two...four...six...eight...who do we appreciate?

Chinese Baseball Team: [in unison] The Stockburns! The Stockburns! Yeah! The Stockburns!”
— Abner Doubleday, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: sports chants
“Say, honey: How ‘bout after this, we go someplace and I put my peepee in your teepee?”
— Will Patch, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: peepee, teepee, Euphemisms
“Lunch Lady: Have some more sloppy joes. I made ‘em extra sloppy for youse. I know how youse kids like ‘em sloppy.

Billy Madison: Lady, you’re scaring us.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: sloppy joes, extra sloppy, Scar
“[regarding Ramon's shocked-face signal to begin the heist] You know, I make that same face when I put my cologne on in the morning, especially when I'm home alone.”
— General Custer, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: cologne, shocked face, Home Alone
“Corinne: What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister?

Sonny: Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called 'doing the hibbidy-dibbidy.'”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Laundry, Double Entendres, hibbidy-dibbidy
“Sonny: What do you eat?

Julian: Food.

Sonny: Oh, yeah? Well, I eat food, too.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: eating, food, Stating the Obvious
“There's bars on planes now? This is... Man, I wish my mother was still alive to see this. She was an alcoholic, but a nice one. ”
— Nicholas "Nick" Spitz, Murder Mystery
Tagged: Bars On Planes, Flying In First Class
“Frank: Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan or Jack Nicholson?

Billy Madison: Jack Nicholson now, or 1974?

Frank: ‘74.

Billy Madison: Meg Ryan.”
— Billy Madison, Billy Madison
Tagged: Jack Nicholson, Meg Ryan, boning, 1974
“Ramon: My mother's Swedish.

Tommy aka White Knife: I don't think so. I reckon she's Mexican.

Ramon: Lying bitch!”
— Ramon, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Swedish, Mexican, lying, Bitch
“Dr. Keats: All I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis. I have the first.

Henry: That's my joke.”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: Whales, Mammals, penis, penis jokes
“Henry: [on video] The part of you for this reenactment will be played by my good friend, Ula.

Ula: [on video] Aloha. Sorry about your brain.”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: Video, Brain, insults
“[to Julian] I can't take this shit. Are you serious? [Julian continues jumping to the Kangaroo song…under his breath; about the character in the song] Douchebag kangaroo.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: douchebag, Kangaroo, Shit
“Nick: Hey, Mr. Peanut Butter Cups!

Henry: Hey, Mr. Could-Kill-Me-In-One-Punch!”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: Peanut Butter Cups
“Henry: Hey! Tattoo Face!

Nick: Hey, Peanut Butter Cups!”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: Peanut Butter Cups, tattoo face, Nicknames Dating
“Henry: I bet you twenty bucks I can get her to have breakfast with me again.

Nick: You're on.”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: dates, breakfast, Bets
“Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you're gunna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls... gross! Ugh!”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: old balls, loose skin, Gross
“Sonny: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a woman who makes plenty of it. She'll be my sugar mamma.

Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: sugar mama, money making
“Never Wears Bra: You lucky, Smoking Fox. White Knife all man. Bravest of all braves.

Smoking Fox: Not brave. Foolish. I want to be wife, not widow.”
— Smoking Fox, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: Lucky, Brave, foolish, Wife, Widow
“Frank Stockburn: Boy, you got your mom's muscles. You a prizefighter?

Chico: No, actually, I'm a...piano player.”
— Frank Stockburn, The Ridiculous 6
Tagged: muscles, prizefighter, Piano Player
“I love you very much, probably more than anybody could love another person.”
— Henry, 50 First Dates
Tagged: Love, Movie Love Quotes
“The first rule when he got into office was to legalize marijuana meatloaf.”
— Adam Sandler, Adam Sandler on The Dan Patrick Show(Full Interview) 7/21/15
Tagged: interviews, Hollywood Actors, Actors Are Regular People
“Henry: I was petting my walrus all morning and I was thinking of you the whole time.

Lucy: OK, pervert. I think that you should leave.

Henry: What? I was just joking around because of what we talked about yesterday.

Lucy: Yesterday? I've never even met you.”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: Pervert, petting the walrus, joking
“Happy birthday, sir. What are you, like, 200 today?”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: Happy Birthday, Ageism
“Henry: Can I ask you guys something? What's gonna happen down the line? Someday she's gonna wake up and look in the mirror and notice her face's aged ten years overnight.

Marlin: You know something, Henry? I worry about that every day of my damn life.”
— Henry Roth, 50 First Dates
Tagged: worry, Mirror, Aging
“My God, that's a shitload of piss.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Piss, shitload
“Layla: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other?

Sonny: Yeah.

Layla: Is that strange for you?

Sonny: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.”
— Sonny Koufax, Big Daddy
Tagged: Porno, Best Friends, Law School, Falling In Love
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