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Quotes tagged “doctor”
Doctor: There are some bad news, you are going to die soon.
Man: Tell me doctor, how much time I have left
Man: Ten what, days, months, years? Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...”
Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."”
So I shot him. Problem solved, the judge gave me 20 years.”
The doctor says "That looks nasty"
She replies "It's just the tip of the iceberg"”
"So what's the problem?"
"I wake up at 9"”
When the doctor places both hands on your shoulders.”
Doctor: Let me tell you a story: "There was once a Hunter who always carried a gun wherever he went. One day he took out his Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out. A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy: Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..
Doctor: Good! You understood the story. Next patient please..”
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions.”
And the plumber goes: "I know sir. I used to be a doctor myself”
A slip of the knife.”
I told him that didn't sound like a good trade.”
He told me smoking just 1 pack a day would kill me”
He just said "I don't wanna make any rash decisions.”
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