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Quotes tagged “Married Couple”
His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him get an erection.
When he came back he handed her some diet pills.
Anyway, he's looking for a place to live. Can you help him?”
And I started trying to encourage my dick "come on man, you can do it!"
My wife yells at me through the bathroom door at me
"Who are you talking to?"
I replied " Don't worry, it's nobody you'd remember"”
after he got fed up with the kids.”
Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."”
..the kids are taking it pretty hard.”
“I find them very interesting,” I said.
“Well, who gives a flying fuck?” She said angrily.
“Dragonflies,” I replied.”
She said she doesn't like to call me when I'm at work.”
If only I had known she had a history of violins”
What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."”
So she ordered me to sleep on the floor.”
All I have to do is express a desire to have sex with her and immediately she is too tired to do anything but sleep.”
Husband: "You want me to put some on TV"
Wife: "Sure honey, you can pick"
Husband: "Okay, I am picking either golf or porn, what do you think?"
Wife: "Porn, definitely porn. You're already good at golf”
Husband: "What are my choices?" Wife: "Yes or No"”
It's a nice way to tell her I love her.
And also that we're outta napkins.”
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Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.
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