TV Quotes / Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

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Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

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Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Sabrina, the Teenage Witch is an American sitcom based on the Archie comic book series of the same name. The show premiered on September 27, 1996 on ABC to over 17 million viewers in its "T.G.I.F." line-up. The show stars Melissa Joan Hart as Sabrina Spe...

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Genres:	Comedy, Family, Sci-Fi & Fantasy
Number Of Seasons:	7
Networks:	ABC, The WB
Created By:	Nell Scovell
Last Air Date:	2003-04-24
First Air Date:	1996-09-27
Status:	Ended
User Score (votes):	6.2 / 10 (89,93,100,101)

ProducerNick Bakay

ProducerPaula Hart

Writers often seen in this show:

Andrew Borakove, Dan Berendsen, Frank Conniff, Joan Binder Weiss, Jon Sherman, Marley Sims, Nell Scovell, Nick Bakay, Norma Safford Vela, Rachel Lipman, Sheldon Bull, + more..., Tod Himmel

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Sabrina, the Teenage Witch Characters

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Total quotes (100)

Zelda: Salem, you owe Sabrina an apology. Now!

Salem: I’m thinking of how to word it.

Hilda: Try 'I’m sorry.'

Salem: Somehow, that just doesn’t feel right...

— Salem Saberhagen (voice) (Nick Bakay), Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: A Girl and Her Cat

Sorry Apology Sassy Bitchy Rude

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Sabrina: Can you distract a room full of poets?

Hilda: Easy.

Salem: With your clothes on?

Hilda: Oh.

— Hilda Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 6: Time After Time

humor Raunchy Poets Distraction Irreverent

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The end of a relationship is always the most depressing part. But it's gotta be really depressing to end something that never got a chance to begin.

— Roxie King (Soleil Moon Frye), Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Finally!

Almost Relationships Dating Love depressing chances breakup

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M’Lady: Salem, you’re the only one who understands me.

Salem: Yeah, but it doesn’t mean I care.

— Salem Saberhagen (voice) (Nick Bakay), Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: A Halloween Story

Understanding Connection joke Rude Sassy

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I just don’t get why they’re making us read 1984 when Orwell got so much wrong...

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Cat Showdown

Literature 1984 George Orwell School joke

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Roxie: Do you hear yourself when you speak?

Morgan: Depends on what I say.

— Morgan Cavanaugh (Elisa Donovan), Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 6: Sabrina's Date with Destiny

joke Ditzy dumb Sassy

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Roxie: Did you put in fresh batteries?

Sabrina: Yeah, I'm packing two Ds. And believe me, that's the first time I've ever said that.

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: House of Pi's

Raunchy Irreverent joke Womanhood

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I'm sorry, Sabrina. I didn't want to hurt you; I just wanted to rule you.

— Salem Saberhagen (voice) (Nick Bakay), Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 3: Salem, the Boy

Power Hungry rule Sassy Apology

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Sabrina: Harvey?

Harvey: I'm not really sure what this [Soul-stone] is, but something told me I would find the answer here.

Sabrina: I think that I just found mine.

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 7: Soul Mates

Fate Destiny soulmates Love Answer sweet End Game

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Aaron: Never think that 'almost' is good enough for you.

Sabrina: Or for you...

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 7: Soul Mates

Love Self-Worth Self-Confidence breakup Almost

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So, you're in the nuclear biz? I once dated a guy named Adam, but then we split!

— Morgan Cavanaugh (Elisa Donovan), Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 7: Spellmanian Slip

joke Science Science Joke Nuclear Pun

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Wait a minute. How are you gonna quit magic? Go to Witch Watchers?

— Harvey Kinkle, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 7: Witch Way Out

Pun joke witch Magic Weight Watchers

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Annabelle: Who better to be my Maid of Honor than the person who fixed the rift between my Daddy and me?

Sabrina: Well, besides a sister, college roommate or lifelong friend, I can't think of anyone...

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 4: Salem's Daughter

wedding Marriage Maid Of Honor awkward Friendship

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Hilda: Sabrina, I do not want a birthday party, I do not want one on the beach, I do not want one with a sneach, I do not want one up in space, I do not want one any place!

Sabrina: A party in Whoville?

— Hilda Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Tick-Tock Hilda's Clock

Rhyme Dr. Suess birthday party Whoville Pop Culture

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Harvey: Salem invited me. He said there would be food and fireworks.

Salem: I have lighted the fuse. Now I just have to wait for the kapowie! Muahahaha!

— Salem Saberhagen (voice) (Nick Bakay), Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 7: Spellmanian Slip

Evil Devious Fireworks party Explosion

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Sabrina: Hey, guys, having fun?

Roxie: I'm standing here with Miles, what do you think?

Miles: If this is the best party of all time, I'm glad I'm a social outcast.

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: The Halloween Scene

party Outcast Socially Awkward Introvert awkward Bored Relatable

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Roxie: If you're gonna date based on principle, your choices are the Pope or St. Francis of Assisi.

Sabrina: So I've got options.

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Finally!

Dating Options Principle Francis of Assisi Pope joke Relationships

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Jenny: This is such a great place! I mean, how many people have their own turret?

Sabrina: I don’t know, me and Rapunzel?

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Jenny's Non-Dream

Rapunzel witch Castle Turret House joke Nervous

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Salem: Whoa! Who's your new friend?

Zelda: It’s her first wart as a witch!

Hilda: Oh, let me get the camera!

— Hilda Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Sabrina Through the Looking Glass

witch Wart maturity Adolescence joke

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How can you choose the Pleasure Dome over High School?! Wait, that didn't come out right...

— Hilda Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Third Aunt From the Sun

High Schools joke Pleasure Dome club party

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Sabrina: Great! Great, great, great!

Hilda: That’s the spirit!

Sabrina: I was being sarcastic!

Hilda: So was I...

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Sabrina Through the Looking Glass

Sarcasm joke upset angry

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Sabrina: You know that love between two people is stronger than any legal document.

Gail: Yes. But as a lawyer, I’m not supposed to admit it...

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 1: Meeting Dad's Girlfriend

Love Relationships Lawyer Legal Documents Marriage joke

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A French dinosaur. I only wish this was the strangest thing I've ever encountered.

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 3: Sabrina's Real World

french Dinosaur joke strange Magic

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Zelda: So, I hear things are heating up between you and Derek.

Sabrina: Well, let's just say we could melt a glacier.

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Some of My Best Friends are Half-Mortals

Dating Relationships joke Pun Climate Change

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Salem: Hmm. I knew this day would come. Sabrina, it's time for the talk.

Sabrina: Most girls get it from their mothers, I get it from the cat.

— Sabrina Spellman, Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, Season 5: Sabrina's Got Spirit

the talk Cat Magic Animals joke

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Sabrina, the Teenage Witch Characters