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“Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, you remember that old saying, 'birds of a feather smell the same'?

Lucy Ricardo: You mean 'a rose by any other name flocks together'?

Ricky Ricardo: [Thinks a moment] Yeah.”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Gossip
Tagged: Cliches, Confusion
“Lucy Ricardo: Now really, Ricky, it's up to us to get Fred and Ethel back together again. Say you'll help me?

Ricky Ricardo: Well, it would be nice. And I guess after you've gone through all this trouble and this far, the cast is dead.

Lucy Ricardo: The cast is dead?

Ricky Ricardo: Yeah, you know...

Lucy Ricardo: Don't tell me, don't tell me—the die is cast?

Ricky Ricardo: That's what I said.”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Fred and Ethel Fight
Tagged: ESL, Die Is Cast
“Fred Mertz: She said my mother looks like a weasel.

Lucy Ricardo: Ethel, apologize.

Ethel Mertz: I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel.”
— Ethel Mertz, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Fred and Ethel Fight
Tagged: Apologies, half-baked apologies, weasel
“Ricky Ricardo: Lucy, were you snooping?

Lucy Ricardo: Yes I was a bad girl and you can spank me tomorrow if there's anything left to spank!”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: New Neighbors
Tagged: Snooping, bad girl, spanking
“Lucy Ricardo: I'm living on borrowed time. It was only by a very clever ruse that I managed to escape from their apartment.

Police Sergeant: What was that?

Lucy Ricardo: I pretended to be a chair.

Police Sergeant: I don't think the police can help you madam, why don't you call an upholsterer?”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: New Neighbors
Tagged: Paranoia, borrowed time
“Lucy Ricardo: They're going to kill us.

Police Sergeant: Why would they do that?

Lucy Ricardo: So they can assume our identities and blow up the capitol.

Police Sergeant: This is serious.

Lucy Ricardo: You're darned right it is!
These people are spies from a foreign enemy agent.

Police Sergeant: What are their names?

Lucy Ricardo: O'Brien!

Police Sergeant: Lady, have you been nipping the cooking sherry?”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: New Neighbors
Tagged: Drunk, Spies, Paranoia
“Arthur: But... You're a woman.

Lucy Ricardo: Yes, my husband likes me that way.”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Young Fans
Tagged: Woman, husband
“Lucy Ricardo: Now, what about boys your own age?

Peggy: Oh, they're all so icky.

Lucy Ricardo: They're icky, huh?

Peggy: Yeah. Except Arthur... Arthur Morton. He's wonderful. He's got curly hair, big, sad eyes, and floppy ears. He looks like Gregory Peck.

Lucy Ricardo: Sounds more like Lassie!”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Young Fans
Tagged: Gregory Peck, Lassie, Floppy Ears, icky
“Here I am with all this talent bottled up inside of me and you're always sitting on the cork.”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Ballet
Tagged: Talent, talent show
“Ricky Ricardo: Now look, Lucy, we're not going to go over all this again. You cannot be in the show.

Lucy Ricardo: Give me one good reason.

Ricky Ricardo: You have no talent.

Lucy Ricardo: Give me another good reason.”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Ballet
Tagged: talent show, no talent
“Think harder, we can be nastier than that.”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Breaking the Lease
Tagged: nasty woman, think harder
“Ricky Ricardo: Excuse me, Mrs. Shakespeare, but would you mind telling me what this is all about?

Lucy Ricardo: Well, you see, all the women's clubs in town are having a big play-writing contest.

Ricky Ricardo: I knew it, I knew it. This had to do with the Wednesday Afternoon Fang and Claw Society.

Lucy Ricardo: It's the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts League. Gee, just think, if our play wins I just might become a big, famous playwright. I might become another Tennessee Ernie.

Ricky Ricardo: That's Tennessee Williams.

Lucy Ricardo: Oh.”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Lucy Writes a Play
Tagged: play-writing, shakespeare, Tennessee Williams, Tennessee Ernie Ford
“Ricky Ricardo: [Ricky tries a solution for Lucy's habitual tardiness] I'm making out a schedule so you can budget your time.

Lucy Ricardo: Budget my time? You mean like I budget my money?

Ricky Ricardo: Heaven forbid.

Lucy Ricardo: Now Ricky, listen...”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Lucy's Schedule
Tagged: budgeting, budgeting time, budgeting money
“Lucy Ricardo: Fred, you've given me an idea. I'm going to give Ricky scalp treatments. And they'll be so drastic he'll be glad to forget the whole thing.

Fred Mertz: It won't work...

Lucy Ricardo: Why not?

Fred Mertz: Nothing has ever been invented that a man won't try if he thinks he can get his hair back.

Lucy Ricardo: Oh, yeah? Well, you haven't heard of the 'Lucy Ricardo Torture System of Hair Restoring.'”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Ricky Thinks He is Going Bald
Tagged: hair restoration, scalp treatments, Balding
“Ricky Ricardo: Well, how does it feel to be married to an also been?

Ethel Mertz: An 'also been'?

Lucy Ricardo: He means a has ran.”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Ricky Asks for a Raise
Tagged: also ran, has been
“Ricky Ricardo: Say, what do you know about rice?

Fred Mertz: Well, I had it thrown at me on one of the darkest days of my life.”
— Fred Mertz, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Ricky Asks for a Raise
Tagged: throwing rice, anti-marriage
“Ricky Ricardo: [Ethel enters in a flowing black outfit bedecked with veils and gaudy jewelry] Who are you supposed to be?

Lucy Ricardo: Well, what do you think?

Ricky Ricardo: The Bride of Frankenstein?

Ethel Mertz: Well!

Lucy Ricardo: She's a Spanish senora.

Ricky Ricardo: She suffers in the translation.”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Lucy Writes a Play
Tagged: Bride of Frankenstein, Senora, lost in translation
“[Ricky and Lucy are doing a show together]
Ricky Ricardo: Hey, Lucy, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the theater.

Lucy Ricardo: What?

Ricky Ricardo: Some tramp comes up to me on the street and says he hadn't had a bite in three days.

Lucy Ricardo: What did you do, bite him?
[Audience laughs]”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Benefit
Tagged: Standup Comedy
“[Ricky and Lucy are doing a show together]
Ricky Ricardo: I've got a joke you never heard in your life. I know a girl who's so dumb she thinks a football coach has four wheels. Ha ha ha.
[Audience is silent]

Lucy Ricardo: How many wheels does it have?
[Audience laughs]”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Benefit
Tagged: dumb, Misunderstanding, Standup Comedy
“Jean Valijean Raymand: Oh, but you don't understand, madame! The Apache dance is a dance of amour. One must warm up to it.

Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, well I think you started warming up on the way over here!

Jean Valijean Raymand: I can't help it. I can't help that there's a pounding in my heart.

Lucy Ricardo: You don't watch out, there'll be a pounding on your head!”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Adagio
Tagged: Love, apache, dance, Threats
“Lucy Ricardo: There's just two things keeping me from dancing in that show.

Fred Mertz: Your feet?”
— Fred Mertz, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Adagio
Tagged: bad dancing, insults
“Ricky Ricardo: Lucy's been acting strange lately!

Fred Mertz: Strange? How can you tell?”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Drafted
Tagged: strange, normal, insults
“Ricky Ricardo: Have you ever heard Lucy sing?

Fred Mertz: No.

Ricky Ricardo: Our fighting men have been through enough.”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Drafted
Tagged: bad singer
“Some people build model airplanes. Ethel reads postcards.”
— Fred Mertz, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Drafted
Tagged: Hobbies, postcards, insults
“Ricky Ricardo: Aw, honey, I don't care anything about that new dancer.

Lucy Ricardo: Hah!

Ricky Ricardo: Aw, honey, you can trust me.

Lucy Ricardo: I can, huh?

Ricky Ricardo: Why sure. I'm as faithful as an old dog.

Lucy Ricardo: Yeah, old Rover!”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: Lucy is Jealous of Girl Singer
Tagged: Cheating, Trust
“Fred Mertz: [Fred and Ethel think Ricky has bought Lucy a mink coat] What are you trying to do, make a bum out of me?

Ethel Mertz: Don't blame him. You were a bum before he was born.

Fred Mertz: Oh, yeah?

Ethel Mertz: Yeah!”
— Ethel Mertz, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Fur Coat
Tagged: mink coat, Bum, insults
“This is Madam Ethel Mertzola. She'll be our medium tonight. She's psychopathic.”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Séance
Tagged: seance, Psychic, psychopathic, Malapropisms
“Lucy Ricardo: You might be going through life with the wrong name. Hey, I better figure out the right one for you! Maybe if you're something besides Five, it'll help our vibration.

Ricky Ricardo: Lucy!

Lucy Ricardo: What?

Ricky Ricardo: Don't you like the way I vibrate?”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Séance
Tagged: Wrong Name, vibration
“Mr. Merriweather: My horoscope says no more business after noon today.

Lucy Ricardo: Oh, you follow horoscopes?

Mr. Merriweather: Yes! I'm Scorpio.

Lucy Ricardo: I'm Taurus.

Ricky Ricardo: I'm cooked.”
— Lucy Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Séance
Tagged: Horoscopes, Scorpio, Taurus
“Ricky Ricardo: For goodness' sakes don't tell Lucy, will you? If she knows the audition is tonight she'll be pestering the life out of me to get into the act. How am I gonna get rid of her for the day?

Fred Mertz: Well, you could lock her in the bathroom. If she stays in there as long as Ethel does she'll never even know the door's locked.”
— Ricky Ricardo, I Love Lucy, Season 1: The Audition
Tagged: Bathroom Time, Pestering

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About The Authors

This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.