Fred Mertz: Hey Rick, are you doing anything Monday night? Ricky Ricardo: I don't think so. It's my night off, why? Fred Mertz: I'd like you to join me in commemoration of an 18-year-old tragedy. Ricky Ricardo: What do you mean? Fred Mertz: Well, it's our wedding anniversary. Ricky Ricardo: Oh, you…
Catalog
Ricky Ricardo
Ricky Ricardo: Lucy's been acting strange lately! Fred Mertz: Strange? How can you tell?
Ricky Ricardo: Have you ever heard Lucy sing? Fred Mertz: No. Ricky Ricardo: Our fighting men have been through enough.
[Ricky and Lucy are doing a show together] Ricky Ricardo: Hey, Lucy, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the theater. Lucy Ricardo: What? Ricky Ricardo: Some tramp comes up to me on the street and says he hadn't had a bite in three days. Lucy Ricardo: What did you do, bite him? [Audience…
[Ricky and Lucy are doing a show together] Ricky Ricardo: I've got a joke you never heard in your life. I know a girl who's so dumb she thinks a football coach has four wheels. Ha ha ha. [Audience is silent] Lucy Ricardo: How many wheels does it have? [Audience laughs]
Lucy Ricardo: How'd you know all that stuff? Ricky Ricardo: Who do you think you married, some country pumpkin?
[confessing to Lucy he didn't know the answers] All I know is Columbus discover' Ohio in 1776.