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Quotes tagged “Farting”

“And there was a time in this country, a long time ago, when reading wasn't just for fags and neither was writing. People wrote books and movies, movies that had stories so you cared whose ass it was and why it was farting, and I believe that time can come again!”
— Private Joe Bowers, Idiocracy
Tagged: fags, Reading, Writing, Movies, Farting
“You somehow made farting even cooler.”
— Maury the Hormone Monster, Big Mouth, Season 3: Super Mouth
Tagged: Farting, cool, Fun
“When I had my ulcers, I was farting razor blades.”
— Max Goldman, Grumpy Old Men
Tagged: ulcers, Farting, razor blades
“Whoa, did somebody step on a duck?”
— Al Czervik, Caddyshack
Tagged: Crass, Farting
“Jay: And I can't believe fine-ass bitches like yourselves eat that shit. Don't you know fast food makes girls fart?

Brent: [getting into the van] Say, what's all this talk about farting?”
— Jay, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Tagged: Farting, Fast Food
“I'm telling you: the fat ass, the farting .. it's ridiculous. I am UN-fuckable. And I have never been so horny in my entire life. ... That's why you're supposed to be married when you're pregnant, so somebody is obligated to have sex with you.”
— Miranda Hobbes, Sex and the City, Season 4: Ring A Ding Ding
Tagged: fat, Farting, pregnant, married, obligated, Sex, Horny
“Phillip: Terrance, you farted in court.

Terrance: Yes Phillip, I'm making a case for our defense.”
— Terrance, South Park, Season 2: Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus
Tagged: Farting, legal defense
“Stan: Man, recess sucks without any slides or nothing.

Cartman: [Damien approaches] Oh, here comes the unholy butthole now. Hey! Thanks a lot for burning everything down, you little bitch!

Damien: I a-pologize for ruining your playground and turning your friend into a duck-billed platypus. I was doing my father's bidding. I didn't have a choice.

[Cartman farts beside him.]

Cartman: Oh! Excuse me, new kid. I didn't mean to fart on you, I didn't have a choice.

[Damien looks angry enough to burst a blood vessel, but he does nothing]

Stan: Phew! You stink, new kid. You smell like a fart.

Kyle: Yeah, we're gonna call you fart-boy from now on.

[Damien walks away from them]

Stan: Bye bye, fart-boy!

Kyle: See you!

Pip: Good day, how are you, Damien?

Damien: Those guys farted on me, and then called me...

Pip: Fart-boy? Oh, good! Perhaps they won't call me that anymore.”
— Stan Marsh, South Park, Season 1: Starvin' Marvin
Tagged: Farting, recess, Butthole, platypus
“[Cartman punches Kyle in the shoulder]

Kyle: Ow! What the hell was that for?!

Cartman: That's for your stupid mother! She made me miss Terrance & Phillip last night!

Clyde: Yeah, what's the big idea having your mom call our moms last night?

Kyle: Well I didn't have her do it. She did it on her own.

Cartman: Why does this happen every month? It seems like, right around the same time every month, Kyle's mom gets a hair up her ass about something and I always end up getting screwed by it!

Mr. Garrison: Children! Children! A certain student's mother called me last night.

Cartman: [tauntingly] Oh, gee, I wonder whose mother that could have been?

Mr. Garrison: She informed me that some of you might be watching a, naughty show called Terrance & Phillip.

Class: Yeahh, woohoo!

Mr. Hat: Watching that show is bad, Mr. Garrison.

Mr. Garrison: That's right, Mr. Hat, shows like Terrance & Phillip are what we call 'toilet humor.' They don't expand your minds.

[silence]

Mr. Garrison: You see children, these kind of shows are senseless, vile trash.

[Kenny walks in]

Mr. Garrison: Kenny, why are you late to class?

[Kenny hands Mr. Garrison a note. The note reads 'Please excuse me from being late, I have a case of explosive Diarrhea, signed-K']

Mr. Garrison: Oh, okay Kenny, be seated.

[addressing the class]

Mr. Garrison: Now, as I was saying, the reason that parents of South Park are so upset is because...

[Kenny is waving his hand frantically]

Mr. Garrison: Yes Kenny, what is it?

Kenny: (I have to go pee.)

Mr. Garrison: I thought you just came from the bathroom.

Kenny: (I did, I gotta go again...)

Mr. Garrison: Okay okay, go ahead.

[Kenny goes in the restroom]

Mr. Garrison: As I was saying, you all seem to enjoy this show, even though it isn't based in reality. There's much more to life than two young men farting on each other. And throughout history there have always been shows that have come and gone that have been very bad, and usually they get taken right off the air. You see, you should be spending your time enlightening your minds with more intelligent entertainment.

[throughout the lecture, sounds of some serious diarrhea come from the bathroom. The sounds get progressively worse as Kenny reenters the classroom at the end of the lecture]

Stan: Whoa, smells like you slaughtered a cow in there, Kenny!

Mr. Garrison: Pay attention, children!”
— Stan Marsh, South Park, Season 1: Death
Tagged: bathroom humor, Defecation, Farting
“Sorry I took so long. I farted pulling into the driveway and I just wanted to enjoy it for a while.”
— Stan Smith (voice), American Dad!, Season 5: Roy Rogers McFreely
Tagged: Farting, Enjoyment, Took A long time
“Why don’t little girls fart? They don’t get assholes ’til they’re married.”
— Unknown, 50 Dirty Jokes That Are(Never Appropriate But) Always Funny
Tagged: Farting, Dirty Jokes, Marriage, Jokes
“Is there a little gas baby in there? Do you want to give birth to a little gas baby?”
— Logic, Logic & His Wife Jess Andrea: Funniest Couple Moments
Tagged: Farting, Rapper, Funny
“It's a good thing farts aren't 'contagious' like yawns...”
— LordGrayKnight, It's a good thing farts aren't "contagious" like yawns...
Tagged: Farting
“Every day, someone unknowingly does the loudest fart in the world for that day.”
— drivingat90, Every day, someone unknowingly does the loudest fart in the world for that day.
Tagged: Toilet Humor, Poop, Farting

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This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.