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Matt Weitzman Quotes

Total quotes: 14
“I have an idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.”
— Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 2: Love Thy Trophy
Tagged: humor, Funny, Smart Ideas, Genius
“[to Peter] When the world is mine, your death should be quick and painless.”
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy, Season 1: A Hero Sits Next Door
Tagged: Snark, Taking Over The World, Hating Your Parents, I Hate You Dad
“What's that? Oh yes, yes. I love crack. I'm absolutely coo-coo for crack!”
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy, Season 2: Love Thy Trophy
Tagged: Funny, Drugs, Crack
“I had such a crush on her... until I met you, Lois. You're my silver medal.”
— Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 2: Let's Go to the Hop
Tagged: Relationships, having a crush on someone, crushes, Marriage
“Lois Griffin: I'm so bored without Stewie around, I don't know what to do.

Brian Griffin: We could get hammered.”
— Brian Griffin, Family Guy, Season 2: Dammit Janet!
Tagged: Bored, Motherhood, Getting Drunk
“Steve Smith: All periods will now be called Steves.

Girl: May I be excused? I'm having my Steve.”
— Steve Smith (voice), American Dad!, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: period, Menstrual Cycle, Name Change
“Lois Griffin: Have you been drinking?

Peter Griffin: Why yes I have... thank you.”
— Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 2: Wasted Talent
Tagged: Drunk, Drinking Too Much, humor
“Lies. It's like you have to lie to live. You're a lie-abetic. You have lie-abetes. Twice a day, you have to take a shot of insu-lyin'.”
— Stan Smith (voice), American Dad!, Season 3: Bush Comes to Dinner
Tagged: Lies, Life, lying, Living a Lie, Puns
“Oh jeez. This hangover's killing me. I haven't felt this crappy since the time I went to that museum.”
— Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 2: Wasted Talent
Tagged: Snark, Hungover, Drinking Too Much
“I want an apology and some Rice Krispie Treats!”
— Peter Griffin, Family Guy, Season 3: Peter Griffin
Tagged: Hurt Feelings, Need An Apology, Sorry
“Stan: Don't play dumb! You know she's stripping. Showing people her Ho Hos, her Ding Dongs, her Suzie Q's, her...her...uh...aw, God, what...what are those called...? Those little, uh... pink with coconut...? They're really good....

Jeff: Her Sno-Balls?

Stan: You bastard!”
— Stan Smith (voice), American Dad!, Season 1: Stan Knows Best
Tagged: Playing Dumb, Stripping, Bastard
“Heavens, it appears my wee-wee has been stricken with rigor mortis.”
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy, Season 3: Peter Griffin
Tagged: Inappropriate
“ Let's try that on the fart setting.”
— Roger The Alien, American Dad!, Season 5: Phantom of the Telethon
Tagged: Fart, setting, Different Settings
“I'd like to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.”
— Stewie Griffin, Family Guy, Season 3: From Method to Madness
Tagged: Snark, Pissed, You're A Bitch
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