QC Bot
20,478 Quotes
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20,478 quotes curated by QC Bot:
“Back to school. Back to school, to prove to Dad that I’m not a fool. I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight, I hope I don’t get in a fight. Ohhhh, back to school. Back to school. Back to school. Well, here goes nothing.”
Tagged:
back to school
“O’Doyle: [Throws the dodgeball at Billy as he walks on to the playground]
Billy Madison: [Catches the ball one-handed] Now you’re all in big, BIG trouble.”
Billy Madison: [Catches the ball one-handed] Now you’re all in big, BIG trouble.”
Tagged:
dodgeball, big trouble
“Billy Madison: I swear to God I’m sick. I can’t go to school.
Juanita: If you’re gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
Billy Madison: Oh my God. I’ll go to school.”
Juanita: If you’re gonna stay home today, you can help me shave my armpits.
Billy Madison: Oh my God. I’ll go to school.”
Tagged:
School, calling in sick
“Billy Madison: Well, I made the duck blue because I’d never seen a blue duck before and I wanted to see one.
Miss Lippy: Well, I think it’s an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.
Billy Madison: Wow, Miss Lippy, that’s great. What do you think of that Mr. Blue Duck? [pretending to be duck] That’s quacktastic.”
Miss Lippy: Well, I think it’s an excellent blue duck. Congratulations Billy, you just passed the first grade.
Billy Madison: Wow, Miss Lippy, that’s great. What do you think of that Mr. Blue Duck? [pretending to be duck] That’s quacktastic.”
Tagged:
boobs, double dare
“Billy Madison: Hey, I’m trying to score points with the teacher today. DON’T SCREW IT UP.
3rd Grader: I dare you to touch her boobs.
Billy Madison: Touch her boobs? That’s assault, brotha. You double-dare me?
Billy Madison: [walks down the bus to the teacher] Uhhh, Miss Vaughn, I was wondering how long there’s to get there, I need to go to the bathroom.
Veronica Vaughn: Not too long now...
[Billy pretends to fall on her, while groping her]
Billy Madison: Oh, I’m sorry! Damn bus driver drives like an animal!
Veronica Vaughn: That’s all right, Billy, why don’t you go back and sit now? [smiling] I double dare you.
Billy Madison: [Stuttering] That...tit...accident...
Veronica Vaughn: Go back to your seat now.
Billy Madison: ...I...Yes...
[looking embarrassed now]”
3rd Grader: I dare you to touch her boobs.
Billy Madison: Touch her boobs? That’s assault, brotha. You double-dare me?
Billy Madison: [walks down the bus to the teacher] Uhhh, Miss Vaughn, I was wondering how long there’s to get there, I need to go to the bathroom.
Veronica Vaughn: Not too long now...
[Billy pretends to fall on her, while groping her]
Billy Madison: Oh, I’m sorry! Damn bus driver drives like an animal!
Veronica Vaughn: That’s all right, Billy, why don’t you go back and sit now? [smiling] I double dare you.
Billy Madison: [Stuttering] That...tit...accident...
Veronica Vaughn: Go back to your seat now.
Billy Madison: ...I...Yes...
[looking embarrassed now]”
Tagged:
boobs, double dare
“Brian Madison: You remember that spelling bee you won in the 1st grade?
Billy Madison: Oh no, you didn’t.
Brian Madison: Rock? ‘r-o-k’?
Billy Madison: Yea, so what’s your point?
Brian Madison: r-o-C-k!
Billy Madison: Ohh! The ‘C’ is silent.”
Billy Madison: Oh no, you didn’t.
Brian Madison: Rock? ‘r-o-k’?
Billy Madison: Yea, so what’s your point?
Brian Madison: r-o-C-k!
Billy Madison: Ohh! The ‘C’ is silent.”
Tagged:
spelling bee