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“[Discussing how Knight didn't come in to the lab]
Bodie: He said he didn't feel like it. And I said, ‘You'd better!’ And he said, ‘Or what?’ And I said, ‘Or you're gonna be in trouble.’ And he said, ‘Jam it.’

Professor Hathaway: That's a wonderful story, Bodie. I noticed you've stopped stuttering.

Bodie: I've been giving myself shock treatments.

Professor Hathaway: Up the voltage.”
— Prof. Jerry Hathaway, Real Genius
Tagged: Shock Treatment, Stuttering
“Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races, we only had one entry into the Madame Curie lookalike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Moles, trolls, Madame Curie, hamsters
“Jordan: Are you going to take me home to meet your parents?

Mitch: No.

Jordan: Why? Are you ashamed of me?

Mitch: No, them.

Jordan: Oh.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: rue the day, campus, archaisms
“[Kent opens his dorm room door to find his car inside]

Chris Knight: Hey, Kent...that's your car.

Mitch: Kent, you know you're not supposed to park that on campus.

Kent: You've gone too far this time, Knight.

Chris Knight: [whiny, scared voice] I had help!

[points to Mitch]

Kent: You, huh? Well you won't get away with this. Doctor Hathaway's gonna hear all about this. You'll rue the day!

Chris Knight: ‘Rue the day?’ Who talks like that?”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: rue the day, campus, archaisms
“[Chris is holding a lab beaker with pink liquid in it]

Chris Knight: Here Mitch, taste this. Go on, you won't hurt my feelings, just try it. What do you think, too sweet?

Mitch: What is it?

Chris Knight: I don't know, I found it in one of the labs.

[Mitch starts to induce vomiting]

Chris Knight: Relax, it's just yogurt.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: yogurt, sweet
“Dr. Dodd: Why is that toy on your head?

Chris Knight: Because if I wear it any place else, it chafes.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Mental Illness
“Look at it this way. Considering the type of people you are and the environment you're in, you have to admit the strong possibility this may be the only chance you ever have in your entire lives...to have sex.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: environment, Sex
“Sir, let me take this moment to compliment you on your fashion sense, particularly your slippers.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: compliments, fashion sense, slippers
“Lazlo Hollyfeld: Well, how'd you do?

Chris Knight: How'd I do? I passed! But I failed! Yeah!

Lazlo Hollyfeld: Well, then I'm happy and sad for you.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Passed, failed, Happy, Sad
“Professor Hathaway: I want to see more of you around the lab.

Chris Knight: Fine. I'll gain weight.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Misunderstanding, Double Entendre
“Mitch: But if I stay, what should I do?

Chris Knight: You get even with Kent. It's a moral imperative.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Getting Even, moral imperative
“Professor Hathaway: When you first started at Pacific Tech you were well on your way to becoming another Einstein and then you know what happened?

Chris Knight: I got a haircut?”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: pacific tech, einstein
“Kent: You're all a bunch of degenerates.

Chris Knight: We are? What about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jell-O?

Kent: You did not.

Chris Knight: This is true.

Kent: Look, it was hot and I was hungry, okay?”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Jell-O, degenerates, Naked
“Chris Knight: Have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?

David Decker: She happens to be my daughter.

Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Lust, Daughter
“This? This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent. This is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: ice, Sexual Frustration
“Do you mind if I name my first child after you? ‘Dipshit Knight’ has a nice ring to it.”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Dipshit
“[Chris Knight is trying to hit on Susan, a beautiful woman he finds in Professor Hathaway's house]

Chris Knight: So, if there's anything I can do for you—or, more to the point, to you—just let me know.

Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?

Chris Knight: Not right now.

Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards.

[She walks out]”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: penis, Dating, Standards
“Mitch: What are you doing?

Chris Knight: Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, ‘... I drank what?’”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Socrates, self-realization, hemlock, Suicide
“Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning...

Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

Mitch: No...

Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?”
— Chris Knight, Real Genius
Tagged: Dream, sun god, Pyramid, naked women
“Others included taking out almost $1 billion in loans and cashing out stock options, and a $5.9 million payment to Neumann for providing WeWork with the right to use the word “we.””
— Real Deal, WeWork insiders slam Neumann and his enablers: “They created the monster”
“You can believe whatever you want. It's what everyone else does.”
— Cal Lightman, Lie to Me, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Belief, Thoughts, Society
“Body language tells the truth, even from the grave.”
— Cal Lightman, Lie to Me, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: body language, Truth, expression
“Well, we all pay for sex one way or another. At least hookers are honest about the price.”
— Cal Lightman, Lie to Me, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Pay, Sex, Hookers, Costs, Physical Costs , Emotional Costs
“Liars rehearse their stories in order. They don't think to rehearse them backwards.”
— Dr. Gillian Foster, Lie to Me, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Liar, Rehearsal, order, Sequence
“Truth or happiness. Never both.”
— Cal Lightman, Lie to Me, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Truth, Happiness, One or the other
“Cal: Have you ever had any specialized deception training? 

Ria: I've dated a lot of men.”
— Ria Torres, Lie to Me, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Specialized, Deception, Training, Dating
“They need to watch to see if you believe their lies.”
— Cal Lightman, Lie to Me, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Lies, Belief, Watching
“The question is never simply if someone is lying. It's why.”
— Dr. Gillian Foster, Lie to Me, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Question, lying, Motive, Reason
“The truth is written on all our faces.”
— Cal Lightman, Lie to Me, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Truth, faces, expression
“Emotion looks the same whether you're a suburban housewife or a suicide bomber.”
— Cal Lightman, Lie to Me, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Emotion, similar, expressions

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About The Authors

This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.