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Alan Yang Quotes

Total quotes: 44
“I tried a meditation class at the Y once, but all I could think about was not farting.”
— June, Forever, Season 1: Oceanside
Tagged: medication, Class, Fart, Embarrassment
“June: Is there a God, honey?

Oscar: I don't know. But there is a shuffleboard court here.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: The Lake House
Tagged: Shuffleboard, Questions, God
“Oscar: Hey. What are you doing right now? 

Mark: Uh, I was either going to jerk off or draw a picture of a car. ”
— Mark Erickson, Forever, Season 1: Another Place
Tagged: masturbate, draw, Choices
“You've got to tell the universe what you want so it will know what to give back to you.”
— Sharon, Forever, Season 1: June
Tagged: Universe, Needs, Give Back
“Everything inside me is telling me I'm supposed to be with you.”
— Sarah, Forever, Season 1: Andre and Sarah
Tagged: Gut, Relationship, Love, Meant To Be
“Every relationship needs a peacekeeper.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Another Place
Tagged: Love, Relationship, Peace, Peace Keeper
“Bitch, someone is paying you to go to Hawaii. It's already worked out.”
— Sharon, Forever, Season 1: June
Tagged: travel, Free, Hawaii
“You weren't the problem. I was. It was just a lot easier to blame you.”
— June, Forever, Season 1: Goodbye Forever
Tagged: Problem, Blame, Easy Choice
“I love being single. You know what I do? Whatever I want all the time.”
— Sharon, Forever, Season 1: Together Forever
Tagged: Single, Life, Choices
“I feel like there should be an app that analyzes your tum and tells you what you want to eat.”
— Dev, Master of None, Season 1: Finale
Tagged: Apps for Eating
“Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons.”
— Ron Swanson,
Tagged: Tutelage, manhood, Gladiators, Boys To Men
“How are children out in this weather? Their parents should be put in jail.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Together Forever
Tagged: Children, Weather, Jail, cold
“We had some good times on that couch. Sorry, it sounded sexual. But I was most likely talking about when we played Uno.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: The Lake House
Tagged: couch, sexual, Sex, Uno, Games
“If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.”
— Chris Traeger, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 4: Bus Tour
Tagged: Body, Mind, bottomless, pit of despair
“Ugh, you married people always talk about 'mixing things up'. That sounds real bleak.”
— Sharon, Forever, Season 1: Together Forever
Tagged: Marriage
“Well, sometimes I blamed you for being in the way of me becoming this hypothetical amazing, new version of myself.”
— June, Forever, Season 1: Goodbye Forever
Tagged: Blame, Relationships, Hypothetical, Admittance
“You know, I think when you have it hard in high school, you turn out to be, like, a way more interesting adult.”
— Andre, Forever, Season 1: Andre and Sarah
Tagged: high school, Bullied, Obstacles, interesting, grown up
“I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.”
— Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 2: Sweetums
Tagged: Carnivore, Meat-Eaters, Surf 'n' Turf, Turf "n' Turf, Porterhouse, T-Bone, cigar, American
“Also, do you think just because I'm married, I can't get a baked potato whenever I want? Because I can. I'm eating baked potatoes all the fucking time. ”
— June, Forever, Season 1: Together Forever
Tagged: married, Choices, Independence, Extended Metaphor Examples, Baked Potato
“We just kind of live. I know it sounds a little ironic, but, well, that's the only word I can think of.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: The Lake House
Tagged: live, Irony
“Because in the end, don't you want someone on the other side of the door waiting for you when you come home?”
— Sarah, Forever, Season 1: Andre and Sarah
Tagged: Waiting, Home, Love, Relationship
“One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.”
— Ron Swanson,
Tagged: Rage, Quarterly Rage
“We do the same things every single day, and I don't see it changing literally forever.”
— June, Forever, Season 1: Another Place
Tagged: Routine, Boring, Forever
“Chidi: You are too selfish to ever be a good person.

Eleanor: Well, I think you're wrong.

Chidi: What country am I from, again?

Eleanor: Sensodyne.

Chidi: That is a brand of toothpaste.”
— Eleanor Shellstrop, The Good Place, Season 1: Flying
Tagged: Selfish, joke, Ignorance, Good
“Oprah says you should always bring a gift, no matter the occasion.”
— June, Forever, Season 1: Kase
Tagged: Oprah, Gift, Occasion
“It is disturbing the lengths you will go to avoid confrontation.”
— June, Forever, Season 1: Another Place
Tagged: Disturbing , Bad at Confrontation , Confronting, Problems
“Suck it, nice family.”
— June, Forever, Season 1: The Lake House
Tagged: Suck It, Diss, Family
“Well, no bad time for mac and cheese is what I always say.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Kase
Tagged: Bad Time, Mac and Cheese, sayings, food
“I'll stop doing nice things because it seems to upset you.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Another Place
Tagged: Nice things, upset
“The only person you ever cared about is yourself.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Oceanside
Tagged: Person, Care, hurt
“If dead people get hangovers, I'm fucked.”
— Kase, Forever, Season 1: Goodbye Forever
Tagged: Hangover, Drinking, Drinks
“Oscar: Remember the time we were here and we saw all those butterflies?

June: Yeah that was really cool. Where do you think they were all going?

Oscar: Probably the Grand Canyon. That's where I would go if I could fly.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Together Forever
Tagged: Butterflies, travel
“Oscar: Have you ever been on a date before, Mark? 

Mark: I was failing math once, and the teacher made a smart girl come over and tutor me, and she was wearing a tight shirt, and I got a boner. Does that count? ”
— Mark Erickson, Forever, Season 1: Another Place
Tagged: Date, Love, Attraction, Math, Tutoring
“I don't really know how to live my life without him.”
— June, Forever, Season 1: June
Tagged: Life, Love, Live without us
“Sexuality, it's not cut and dry.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Oceanside
Tagged: Sex, sexuality, Cut and Dry, spectrum
“I wasn’t listening but I strongly disagree with Ann.”
— April Ludgate, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 4: Bus Tour
Tagged: Listening, strongly, Disagree
“My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he's allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women are brought to him, maybe...when he desires them.”
— Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation, Season 1: Boys Club
Tagged: Government, Nukes, Single Man, IQ, Decathalon
“Turkey can never beat cow.”
— Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation, Parks and Recreation Season 3: Soulmates
Tagged: Turkey, Cow, Meat-Eaters, Vegetarianism
“Fishing is for sport only. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.”
— Ron Swanson,
Tagged: Fishing, Sport, Fish Meat
“Let's get burgers. I bet they're really terrible.”
— Oscar, Forever, Season 1: Together Forever
Tagged: Burgers, terrible, Gross
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