Roy: Hey, I hope you don’t mind—I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one. Then, POW, all at once. [Takes a drink from the bucket] Mr. Boorg: We don’t have a cow. We have a bull. Roy: I’ll…
— Barry Fanaro, Mort Nathan, Roy Munson, Woody Harrelson, imdb.com
Put the cow on the phone, Rio! Put the cow on the phone right now! Let me tell 'em a thing or two.
— Elizabeth Meriwether, Lake Bell, Donna, Susie Essman, imdb.com
I have a cow and I sew. How's that for 'hard to relate to'?
Turkey can never beat cow.
What do you call a cow that just had a baby? Decalfinated
— Doub_P, reddit.com
What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? An udder failure.
How do you hide a cow? You Cow-Moo-flage it.
You can only milk a cow so long, then you're left holding the pail.
How can you tell if a cow is successful? When it's outstanding in its field.
Why are cows not addicted to meth? Because grass isn't a gateway drug.
What do you call it when a cow attacks you?Attempted Mooder.
What do you call a cow that accidentally wanders into a slaughterhouse? A mis-steak.
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!
What do you call a cow during an earthquake? A milkshake.
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