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50 Witty Quotes About Getting Wasted That'll Make You Want To Party This Weekend

Grab your friends and an ice cold beer.
Holly Riordan
July 27, 2016
“I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
— Ron White, CDO Chief Daddy Officer: The Business of Fatherhood
Tagged: Drinking, vodka, Partying
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
— Ernest Hemingway, How To Be Interesting: Simple Ways to Increase Your Personal Appeal
Tagged: Drinking, Alcohol, interesting
“Drinking is an emotional thing. It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same. It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall. I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now.”
— Charles Bukowski, It's All About You
Tagged: Drinking, reborn, Suicide
“Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.”
— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned: A Twentieth Century Classic
Tagged: Drinking, Alcohol, Optimism
“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
— Benjamin Franklin, The Biggest Joke Book Ever
Tagged: Drinking, Freedom, Water, Wine, Beer
“Next to music, beer was best.”
— Carson McCullers, The Heart is a Lonely Hunter
Tagged: Drinking, Music, Beer
“There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.”
— Chelsea Handler, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands
Tagged: Drinking, Trust, Alcohol
“Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
— Frank Sinatra, The Quotable Drunkard
Tagged: Drinking, Alcohol, Enemy, Bible
“Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.”
— Jim Butcher, Changes
Tagged: Drinking, vodka, Laughter
“Good people drink good beer.”
— Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Tagged: Drinking, Beer, Alcohol
“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.”
— Chelsea Handler, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea
Tagged: Drinking, Fun, Alcohol
“I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.”
— Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
Tagged: Drinking, vodka, Power
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.”
— Drew Carey, Miss Charming's Guide for Hip Bartenders and Wayout Wannabes
Tagged: Drinking, Career, bar
“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”
— G.K. Chesterton, Heretics
Tagged: Drinking, Happiness, Misery
“Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.”
— W.C. Fields, Chuckle, Giggle, Snort!: Quips Collected By Karen Money Williams
Tagged: Drinking, Beer, believing
“There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne.”
— Bette Davis, The Quotable Drunkard
Tagged: Drinking, Women, champagne
“You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.”
— Tom Waits, Lowside of the Road: A Life of Tom Waits
Tagged: Drinking, Women, wasted, Drunk
“Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living.”
— George Bernard Shaw, Endure Greatest Quotes
Tagged: Drinking, Living, liquor
“I like to see the glass as half full, hopefully of Jack Daniels.”
— Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right
Tagged: Drinking, Optimism, silver lining
“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”
— Ogden Nash, Hard Lines
Tagged: Drinking, candy, liquor
“Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles.”
— Martin Luther, My First Exorcism
Tagged: Drinking, devil, sins
“It's 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?”
— Amy Neftzger, It's Always Wine O'Clock
Tagged: Drinking, margaria, happy hour
“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
— Charles Bamforth, Beer is Proof God Loves Us: Reaching for the Soul of Beer and Brewing
Tagged: Drinking, God, Love, Beer, Happiness
“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”
— Oscar Wilde, Drinking: Behavior and Belief in Modern History
Tagged: Drinking, Work, Career
“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.”
— Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume
Tagged: Drinking, Beer, Satisfaction, Comfort
“Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.”
— Ray Bradbury, The October Country
Tagged: Drinking, Beer, idiots
“I want a beer. I want a giant, ice-cold bottle of beer and shower sex.”
— Nora Roberts, Chasing Fire
Tagged: Drinking, Beer, shower sex, Sex
“I don't think I've drunk enough beer to understand that.”
— Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent
Tagged: Drinking, Beer, Understanding
“Thirstily he set it to his lips, and as its cool refreshment began to soothe his throat, he thanked Heaven that in a world of much evil there was still so good a thing as ale.”
— Rafael Sabatini, Fortune's Fool
Tagged: Drinking, Alcohol, Heaven, Evil
“Across the troubled maelstrom of time, people always need a beer.”
— Ellen Kushner, The Fall of the Kings
Tagged: Drinking, Beer, Time