TV Quotes /
Total quotes (20)
Based on Neil Gaiman's fantasy novel about an ex-con who becomes the traveling partner of a conman who turns out to be one of the older gods trying to recruit troops to battle the upstart deities.
|Genres:||Drama, mystery, Sci-Fi & Fantasy|
|Number Of Seasons:||1|
|Created By:||Neil Gaiman, Michael Green, Bryan Fuller|
|User Score (votes):||7 / 10 (401)|
Executive ProducerNeil Gaiman
Total quotes (20)
Wednesday: Too many people tell each other not to repress their emotions, to release their feelings, to let the pain go. There's a lot to be said for bottling up emotions. I'm gonna tell you something and you're gonna want to hurt me, but what I say has gotta be said. So I want you to consider my words very carefully and refrain from knocking my teeth out.
Shadow: Say it.
Wednesday: Word on the street is your wife died sucking your best friend's cock. And you, sir, are only obligated to feel bad about that for so long.
Shadow: Thank you...for warning me.
You want help? Fine. Let me tell you a story. 'Once upon a time, a man got fucked.' Now, how is that for a story? 'Cause that's the story of black people in America! Shit, you all don't know you black yet. You think you just people. Let me be the first to tell you that you are all black. The moment these Dutch motherfuckers set foot here and decided they white, and you get to be black, and that's the nice name they call you. Let me paint a picture of what's waiting for you on the shore. You arrive in America, land of opportunity, milk and honey, and guess what? You all get to be slaves! Split up, sold off and worked to death! The lucky ones get Sunday off to sleep and fuck and make more slaves, and all for what? For cotton? Indigo? For a fucking purple shirt? The only good news is the tobacco your grandkids are gonna farm for free is gonna give a shitload of these white motherfuckers cancer. And I ain't even started yet. A hundred years later, you're fucked! A hundred years after that, fucked! A hundred years after you get free, you still getting fucked outta jobs and shot at by police! You see what I'm saying?
Shadow: What are you looking at up there?
Zorya: I was looking at that. See?
Shadow: The big dipper?
Zorya: Odin's Wain, they call it. And the Great Bear. It is a thing. It's not a god. Like a god. It's a bad thing. Chained up in those stars. If it escapes, it will eat the whole of everything. So we watch the sky all day, all night, the three sisters. If he escapes, the thing in the stars, the world is over. Like that.
Shadow: And people believe that?
Zorya: A long time ago.
Wednesday: That woman thinks Jesus suffered for her sins. They're her sins, why should Jesus do all the suffering?
Shadow: Cause his dad sacrificed his ass.
Wednesday: Don't blame the parent. Plenty of suffering and blame to go around. Although that White Jesus could stand a little more suffering. He's doing very well for himself these days.
Shadow: ...And how many colors does Jesus come in?
Wednesday: Well you got your white, Jesuit-style Jesus, you got your black African Jesus, you got your brown Mexican Jesus, you got your swarthy Greek Jesus—
Shadow: That's a...That's a lot of Jesus.
Wednesday: There's a lot of need for Jesus, so there are a lot of Jesus.
Technical Boy: Hello, Shadow. Don't fuck with me.
Shadow: Okay. I won't. Uh, but if you could just drop me off at the Motel America-
Technical Boy: Hit him. See, I said don't fuck with me. Now that, that was fucking with me. Keep your answers short and to the point, or I will fucking kill you. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just have the children break every bone in your fucking body. So don't. Fuck. With. Me.
Mad Sweeney: Your heart's not beating for this life anymore, dead wife. This life is done.
Laura: Only felt my heart beat one time since I died. When I kissed Shadow.
Mad Sweeney: That doesn't obligate him to feel shit. You're so worried about being alive, but to him you're already dead. Wait, you kissed him?
Laura: Yeah I just said I kissed him.
Mad Sweeney: Put your tongue in his mouth?
Laura: Just the tip.
Mad Sweeney: Was it cold and dry?
Mad Sweeney: Did it taste like cigarettes and vomit?
Laura: I have been smoking... Perhaps I misjudged the kiss. Probably should've had some gum or a mint.
Shadow: Did you always believe?
Jesus: Did I always believe? I am belief, Shadow. I don't know how not to believe.
Shadow: I don't think I know how to. I think I maybe don't...don't really believe. You know, I don't really believe any of this. And maybe everything that's happened so far is just some kind of vivid dream. And I don't even know if I can believe that.
Jesus: Even if you don't believe, you cannot travel in any other way then the road your senses show you. And you must walk that road to the end.
Shadow: Best thing, only good thing about being in prison is the relief. You don't worry if they're going to get you when they already got you. Tomorrow can't do anything today hasn't already managed.
Low Key: Even better with a death sentence. Bang. Worst has already happened. You get a few days to let it sink in, and then you're riding the cart on the way to do your dance on nothing. This country went to hell when they stopped hanging folks. No gallows dirt, no gallows deals.
Shadow: No gallows humor.
Low Key: Yeah. Funniest fucking shit in the world.
Shadow: Wasn't supposed to snow today. Wasn't even supposed to be cold.
Wednesday: So, you're perfectly okay believing that tiny people on television can predict the weather. But you crinkle with consternation at the mere suggestion that you could make it snow.
Shadow: One of those things is science, okay? The other is fantasy.
Wednesday: You're talking about it like it's apples and oranges.
Shadow: It's not apples and oranges, okay? It's reality and fantasy.
Wednesday: Oh, so that's how the world works! It's either real or it's fantasy?
Shadow: Yeah, that's how the world works.
Wednesday: Yeah, says the man who hasn't seen it. Shadow, at best, you suffer from a failure of imagination. We're gonna have to fix that.
Wednesday: This is the only country in the world that wonders what it is.
Shadow: You've been to a lot of other countries, have you?
Wednesday: No. No, never, just this one. Just that the others know what they are. I mean, no one wonders about the heart of Norway or goes searching for the soul of Mozambique. Mozambique knows what it is. They all know what they are.
Shadow: Americans know who they are.
Wednesday: They pretend they know. But it's still just pretending, like I'm pretending now. Just like you.
Mr. World: Have we met?
Wednesday: Do not talk to him. Do not say a word. Do not tell him anything.
Mr. World: You don't have to. I already know you.
Shadow: No you don't.
Mr. World: You're a person. I know people, everything about all of them. You have a name: Shadow Moon. You have a blood type and a recurring nightmare: B-positive and an orchard of bones. You prefer swiss to cheddar and can't abide the tines of two forks touching. And this is the face you make when you masturbate. The same as your mother, who had 86 sexual partners throughout her life. Everything that happens is recorded and stored and recalled in the Book of Life.
Mad Sweeney: I've done the math. This times that equals you're a cunt, divided by the only way I'm going to get what I need is if you give it to me, equals the only way you're going to give it to me is if you don't need it. Like my friend Jesus Christ, the only thing you need, dead wife, is resurrection.
Laura: Did you just name drop Jesus Christ like you know a guy who knows a guy?