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J.D. Ryznar Quotes

Total quotes: 12
“Sammy Cacciatore: I wish I could rip my arms off and give them to you so you can call me sometime.

Monica: My phone voice-dials.

Sammy Cacciatore: Even better!”
— Sammy Cacciatore, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: The Drug Olympics
Tagged: phone calls, voice dial
“Alex Moran: Police.

Thad Castle: What? Someone called the police! Shit! Someone called the police! Larry, police!

Larry: POLICE!”
— Alex Moran, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: The Drug Olympics
Tagged: Police
“Thad Castle: Yes! Upper class-men win another!

Alex Moran: You didn't even measure that one.

Thad Castle: I measured with my dick!”
— Drew Hancock, J.D. Ryznar, Chester Tam, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: The Drug Olympics
Tagged: dick sizing
“I just had a brainstorm. What if we kill the professor? If your teacher dies, they have to give you all 'A's. It's the law.”
— Harmon Tedesco, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: Midterms
Tagged: brainstorm, Professor
“Doctor: Are you at least having sex with these women?

Sammy Cacciatore: No.”
— Sammy Cacciatore, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: Midterms
Tagged: incel, Celibate
“I did some uppers and then I did some downers. Annnnnnd then I chased the dragon. Not proud of that.”
— Harmon Tedesco, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: Piss Test
Tagged: Uppers, Downers, Heroin
“Thad Castle: Come on, guys! We're going to play football! No teams!

Harmon Tedesco: Uh, I'm pretty sure you need two teams to play football, fellas, know what I'm sayin'?”
— Thad Castle, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: The Drug Olympics
Tagged: Football, Teamwork
“That is how I find out raw eggs work as well as any sexual lubricant, men. [shrugging with a smug grin] It was a happy accident.”
— Harmon Tedesco, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: Midterms
Tagged: eggs, sexual lubricant
“Coach Jon Jon: I don't like it when you call my house in the middle of the night... tell my wife to wake me up... just so we can talk about stuff that we can talk about tomorrow.

Coach Marty Daniels: I don't do that.”
— Drew Hancock, J.D. Ryznar, Chester Tam, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: The Drug Olympics
Tagged: late night calls
“Craig Shilo: Harmon! Seriously? You couldn't wait three days?

Harmon Tedesco: It's cleaner. It's just how I prefer to take it.

Alex Moran: Does it do anything?

Harmon Tedesco: I feel pretty lightheaded right now, yeah.”
— Harmon Tedesco, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: Piss Test
Tagged: drug test
“Thad Castle: The teacher's become the master.

Harmon Tedesco: What?

Thad Castle: I said the teacher's become the blaster.

Harmon Tedesco: I literally have no idea what you're trying to say me right now, man.”
— Thad Castle, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: The Drug Olympics
Tagged: Teacher, Master, blaster, Pretentious
“Thad Castle: Okay, I'm sure a lot of you are freaking out about the drug test; well, take a chill pill; they don't test for those.

Alex Moran: Wait, I'm not freaking out. I mean, it's just beer and weed for me, so uh, I just need a whole lot of water and tartar sauce.

Thad Castle: Tartar sauce?

Harmon Tedesco: No man, tartar sauce is for coke. Orange juice and cat shit; that's for weed.

Donnie Schrab: Nah, cat shit's for meth. Tartar sauce is for opium.

Thad Castle: Tartar sauce is for fish sticks!”
— Harmon Tedesco, Blue Mountain State, Season 1: Piss Test
Tagged: drug test, Meth, Weed, cat shit, tartar sauce, Cocaine
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