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Gregg Kavet Quotes

Total quotes: 24
“We don’t know how long this will last. They are a very festive people.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Puerto Ricans, Festive
“George: You’ve got to apologize.

Jerry: Why?

George: Because it’s the mature and adult thing to do.

Jerry: How does that affect me?”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer
Tagged: Apologies, mature, adult, Selfish
“I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap
Tagged: Nap, Sleeping
“Mr. Peterman: Elaine, can you keep a secret?

Elaine: No sir, I can’t.”
— J. Peterman, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Frogger
Tagged: Candor, Secrets
“What about drugs? You doing some of that crack cocaine? You on the pipe?”
— George Steinbrenner, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit
Tagged: Crack, Drugs, Crack Pipe
“Do you know what day this is? Because I know what day this is, they know what day this is, so I was wondering if you know what day this is!”
— Bob, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Puerto Rican Day, Thugs, Threats
“Listen to the comeback. ‘Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called. They're running outta you.’”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback
Tagged: Comebacks, Zingers, Sick Burns
“Yeah, because you're perfect. You're a calculating, coldhearted businesswoman. And when there's dirty work to be done, you don't mind stomping on a few throats.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback
Tagged: Coldhearted, Dirty Work, Machiavellian, Cutthroat
“Just let me ask you something. Is it ‘FebRUary’ or ‘FebUary’? Because I prefer ‘FebUary,’ and what is this ‘ru’?”
— George Steinbrenner, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap
Tagged: Pronunciation, february
“It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife; the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sun-up. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted Chambray nightshirts.”
— Eddie, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Fatigues
Tagged: Psychosis, Horror, Knives, Betrayal
“That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous.”
— Jackie Chiles, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Caddy
Tagged: Legalese, Inappropriate, Lascivious, Salacious, Outrageous
“Yeah! That's how they talk. You know, everyone's either a bastard or a son of a bitch. Yeah, it's like, uh, ‘Boy, that son of a bitch Boggs can really hit, uh?!’”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub
Tagged: Son of a Bitch, Bastard, Wade Boggs, Profanity, Obscenity
“Because I'm REFRESHED. I finally found a way to sleep in my office. Under the desk. I lie on my back. I tuck in the chair. I'm invisible.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap
Tagged: Loafing, Naps, Office
“You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever comin' to Houston! Not as long as you bastards are running things.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub
Tagged: Profanity, Houston, Houston Astros, New York Yankees, Son of a Bitch, Bastard
“I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub
Tagged: annoyed, Looking Busy
“Cold showers? They're for psychotics.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy
Tagged: Showers, Cold Showers, Psychosis
“Sometimes in life, the gods smile upon you, my friends.”
— George Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback
Tagged: Zingers, Sick Burns, Comeuppance, Revenge, Fate
“Trust me, Kramer. Given the legal opportunity, I will kill you.”
— Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback
Tagged: Threats, Murder
“What is nice? Trying to fill the void in your life with flour and sugar and egg and vanilla? I mean, we are all unhappy. Do we have to be fat, too? Not you, Becky; I know you have a slow metabolism. I don't want one more piece of cake in my office!”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Frogger
Tagged: Gluttony, Sweets, Cake, Sugar, Weight Gain
“Oh, we all get a little cuckoo sometimes, George. I used to be like you. Rating personnel ’tll they cried, calling managers on the field during a game, threatening to move the team to New Jersey, just to upset people. Then I found a way to relax. I've got two words to say to you, George: hot tub.”
— George Steinbrenner, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub
Tagged: Hot Tubs, Jacuzzis, New Jersey, Threats, Relaxation
“I had to take a sick day. I'm so sick of these people.”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Frogger
Tagged: Sick Days, Coworkers
“Uh, yes, most likely, yes. I'm, uh, H. E. Pennypacker. I'm a wealthy industrialist and philanthropist and, uh, a bicyclist. And, um, yes, I'm looking for a place where I can settle down with my, uh, peculiar habits, and, uh, the women that I frequent with.”
— Cosmo Kramer, Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day
Tagged: Wealth, Industrialist, Philanthropy
“Ohhh, I'm exhausted. I've been on this street a thousand times! It's never looked so strange! The faces...so cold! In the distance, a child is crying. Fatherless...a bastard child, perhaps. My back aches...my heart aches...but my feet...my feet are resilient! (Thank God I took off my heels, and put on my...HIMALAYAN WALKING SHOES!”
— Elaine Benes, Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub
Tagged: Advertising, Catalogs, Walking Shoes, Bastard, Exhaustion
“Inchon, Korea, 1950. I was the best cook Uncle Sam ever saw, slinging hash for the Fighting 103rd. As we marched north, our supply lines were getting thin. One day a couple of GIs found a crate, inside were six hundred pounds of prime Texas steer. At least it once was prime. The use date was three weeks past, but I was arrogant, I was brash, I thought if I used just the right spices, cooked it long enough...”
— Frank Costanza, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Fatigues
Tagged: Inchon, north korea, Uncle Sam, Korean War, Texas Beef, Beef, Cooking, Spoiled Food
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