Gregg Kavet Quotes

Total quotes (39)

Gregg Kavet

Gregg Kavet

Birthname

Educated At Harvard University

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Film Director, Screenwriter

Total quotes (39)

We don’t know how long this will last. They are a very festive people.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day

Puerto Ricans Festive

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George: You’ve got to apologize.

Jerry: Why?

George: Because it’s the mature and adult thing to do.

Jerry: How does that affect me?

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer

Apologies mature adult Selfish

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Mr. Peterman: Elaine, can you keep a secret?

Elaine: No sir, I can’t.

— J. Peterman (John O'Hurley), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Frogger

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I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap

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Moles—freckles' ugly cousin.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer

Moles Freckles Ugly Cousin Melanoma

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It seems that a psychotic mechanic has absconded with my friend's car.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)

Psychotic Mechanic Grand Theft Auto

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What about drugs? You doing some of that crack cocaine? You on the pipe?

— George Steinbrenner (Larry David), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)

Crack Drugs Crack Pipe

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Listen to the comeback. ‘Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called. They're running outta you.’

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback

Comebacks Zingers Sick Burns

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Yeah, because you're perfect. You're a calculating, coldhearted businesswoman. And when there's dirty work to be done, you don't mind stomping on a few throats.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback

Coldhearted Dirty Work Machiavellian Cutthroat

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Just let me ask you something. Is it ‘FebRUary’ or ‘FebUary’? Because I prefer ‘FebUary,’ and what is this ‘ru’?

— George Steinbrenner (Larry David), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap

Pronunciation february

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Do you know what day this is? Because I know what day this is, they know what day this is, so I was wondering if you know what day this is!

— Bob (Yul Vazquez), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day

Puerto Rican Day Thugs Threats

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It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife; the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sun-up. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted Chambray nightshirts.

— Eddie, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Fatigues

Psychosis Horror Knives Betrayal

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That's the bra I gave her, she's wearing it as a top! The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on. She's a menace to society.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Caddy

Bras Menace to Society

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Jimmy’s gonna get you, Kramer! Hands off Jimmy! Don’t touch Jimmy! Let go of Jimmy!

— Jimmy (Anthony Starke), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy

Self-Referential Third Person Threats

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That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous.

— Jackie Chiles (Phil Morris), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Caddy

Legalese Inappropriate Lascivious Salacious Outrageous

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Listen, that registration may have your name on it, Jerry. But this engine's running on my sweat and my blood.

— Tony (Brad Garrett), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)

Psychotic Sweat and Blood

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Yeah, don't worry, Jerry. We're right on this guy like stink on a monkey.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)

Chases stink Monkey

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I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm a US postal worker and my mail truck was just ambushed by a band of backwoods mail-hating survivalists.

— Newman (Wayne Knight), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)

Survivalists Mailmen US Postal Workers Backwoods

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You know that just admitting a man is handsome doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy

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I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer

Dermatology Moles Freckles

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Because I'm REFRESHED. I finally found a way to sleep in my office. Under the desk. I lie on my back. I tuck in the chair. I'm invisible.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap

Loafing Naps Office

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Yeah! That's how they talk. You know, everyone's either a bastard or a son of a bitch. Yeah, it's like, uh, ‘Boy, that son of a bitch Boggs can really hit, uh?!’

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub

Son of a Bitch Bastard Wade Boggs Profanity Obscenity

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You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever comin' to Houston! Not as long as you bastards are running things.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub

Profanity Houston Houston Astros New York Yankees Son of a Bitch Bastard

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I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub

annoyed Looking Busy

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Cold showers? They're for psychotics.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy

Showers Cold Showers Psychosis

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