Gregg Kavet Quotes

Total quotes (39)

Gregg Kavet

Gregg Kavet

Birthname

Educated At Harvard University

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Film Director, Screenwriter

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Total quotes (39)

We don’t know how long this will last. They are a very festive people.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day

Puerto Ricans Festive

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George: You’ve got to apologize.

Jerry: Why?

George: Because it’s the mature and adult thing to do.

Jerry: How does that affect me?

— Jerry Seinfeld (Jerry Seinfeld), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer

Apologies mature adult Selfish

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I love a good nap. Sometimes it's the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap

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Mr. Peterman: Elaine, can you keep a secret?

Elaine: No sir, I can’t.

— J. Peterman (John O'Hurley), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Frogger

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Moles—freckles' ugly cousin.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer

Moles Freckles Ugly Cousin Melanoma

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It seems that a psychotic mechanic has absconded with my friend's car.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)

Psychotic Mechanic Grand Theft Auto

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What about drugs? You doing some of that crack cocaine? You on the pipe?

— George Steinbrenner (Larry David), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)

Crack Drugs Crack Pipe

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Do you know what day this is? Because I know what day this is, they know what day this is, so I was wondering if you know what day this is!

— Bob (Yul Vazquez), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Puerto Rican Day

Puerto Rican Day Thugs Threats

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Listen to the comeback. ‘Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called. They're running outta you.’

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback

Comebacks Zingers Sick Burns

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Yeah, because you're perfect. You're a calculating, coldhearted businesswoman. And when there's dirty work to be done, you don't mind stomping on a few throats.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Comeback

Coldhearted Dirty Work Machiavellian Cutthroat

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Just let me ask you something. Is it ‘FebRUary’ or ‘FebUary’? Because I prefer ‘FebUary,’ and what is this ‘ru’?

— George Steinbrenner (Larry David), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap

Pronunciation february

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It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife; the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sun-up. Sleep tight, mates, in your quilted Chambray nightshirts.

— Eddie, Seinfeld, Season 8: The Fatigues

Psychosis Horror Knives Betrayal

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Jimmy’s gonna get you, Kramer! Hands off Jimmy! Don’t touch Jimmy! Let go of Jimmy!

— Jimmy (Anthony Starke), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy

Self-Referential Third Person Threats

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That's the bra I gave her, she's wearing it as a top! The woman is walking around in broad daylight with nothing but a bra on. She's a menace to society.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Caddy

Bras Menace to Society

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That's totally inappropriate. It's lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous.

— Jackie Chiles (Phil Morris), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Caddy

Legalese Inappropriate Lascivious Salacious Outrageous

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Listen, that registration may have your name on it, Jerry. But this engine's running on my sweat and my blood.

— Tony (Brad Garrett), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)

Psychotic Sweat and Blood

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Yeah, don't worry, Jerry. We're right on this guy like stink on a monkey.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)

Chases stink Monkey

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I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm a US postal worker and my mail truck was just ambushed by a band of backwoods mail-hating survivalists.

— Newman (Wayne Knight), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Bottle Deposit (Part 2)

Survivalists Mailmen US Postal Workers Backwoods

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You know that just admitting a man is handsome doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual.

— Elaine Benes (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy

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I've seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.

— Cosmo Kramer (Michael Richards), Seinfeld, Season 9: The Slicer

Dermatology Moles Freckles

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Yeah! That's how they talk. You know, everyone's either a bastard or a son of a bitch. Yeah, it's like, uh, ‘Boy, that son of a bitch Boggs can really hit, uh?!’

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub

Son of a Bitch Bastard Wade Boggs Profanity Obscenity

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Because I'm REFRESHED. I finally found a way to sleep in my office. Under the desk. I lie on my back. I tuck in the chair. I'm invisible.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Nap

Loafing Naps Office

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You tell that son of a bitch no Yankee is ever comin' to Houston! Not as long as you bastards are running things.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub

Profanity Houston Houston Astros New York Yankees Son of a Bitch Bastard

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I always look annoyed. Yeah, when you look annoyed all the time, people think that you're busy.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 7: The Hot Tub

annoyed Looking Busy

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Cold showers? They're for psychotics.

— George Costanza (Jason Alexander), Seinfeld, Season 6: The Jimmy

Showers Cold Showers Psychosis

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