Charlie Day Quotes

Total quotes (72)

Charlie Day

Charlie Day

Birthname

AKA Charlie Day

Birthday February 9, 1976

Birthplace New York City, NY, United States

Educated At Merrimack College

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Television Actor, Film Actor, Screenwriter, Actor

Spouse Mary Elizabeth Ellis

Characters Portrayed

Charlie Kelly

Total quotes (72)

I'll just regress, because I feel I've made myself perfectly redundant.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens

Regress Redundant Nonsense

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Dee: I am not a failure!

Mac: Dennis, what is it that you call it when somebody tries to do something but doesn't succeed?

Dennis: Uh, that would in fact be a failure.

— Mac, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass

Failure Fail Sassy Diss

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No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom

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Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze down into a job cannon, AND FIRE OFF INTO JOBLAND, WHERE JOBS GROW ON JOBBIES?!!!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: The Gang Sells Out

Jobs Employment Sarcasm

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Dennis, if I was looking for safe I wouldn't be sticking my dick through a wall.

— Frank Reynolds (Danny DeVito), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Charlie Die: Part One

Risk Not Safe Walls

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Dennis: Okay, alright what’s your favorite hobby?

Charlie: Uhh…magnets.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married

Hobbies Magnets Weird

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And I don't think you should do just what makes you happy. I think you should do what makes you great.

— Charlie Day, Motivational Videos

Happiness Improvement

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Charlie: Do wasps make honey?

Dennis: No wasps do not make honey.

Charlie: Alright well I'm gonna check it out anyway, there could be something delicious in here that wasps do make and I want that

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married

Wasp Bees Honey Exploring Questions

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I eat stickers all the time dude!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Gang Hits the Road

Stickers Gross food

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You cannot have a voice without risk of criticism.

— Charlie Day, Motivational Video

Risk Failure motivation

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You do not have to be fearless just don't let fear stop you.

— Charlie Day, Motivational Speeches

Fear Learning Growing

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Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?

Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to this position.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Gets a New Member

excellence Bruce Jenner resumé Application

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Dennis: Okay you want me to read the script?

Charlie: Yes. And action.

Dennis: I'll read the words you wrote. 'Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot.' What? 'Taxes, they'll be lower. Son. The Democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.' This doesn't make any sense!

— Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: The Gang Runs for Office

Office elections Speeches Script

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Surprise, bitches! We're alive and it's blowing your minds right now!

— Deandra Reynolds (Kaitlin Olson), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Charlie Die: Part Two

surprise alive Shock crazy Mind Blown

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I hate listening to people's dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I'm not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don't care.

— Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 1: The Gang Gets Racist

Dreams Selfish Sex Indifferent Listening

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I'm not asking you to do anything, just turn a blind eye while I rob this place stupid.

— Deandra Reynolds (Kaitlin Olson), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: The Gang Sells Out

Robbing blind eye

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Dee: Maybe you shouldn't have your window open!

Mac: maybe you shouldn't be throwing jars of piss out the window!

— Mac, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Gang Hits the Road

window Piss Gross angry

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Frank: There is nothing more threatening to a man than a woman who is smart and attractive. We have to pretend you're both!

Dee: Wow, That's my dad everyone!

— Frank Reynolds (Danny DeVito), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: The Gang Runs for Office

Smart Attractive Women Men Rude

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Dude, it's amazing. Look at this. Bro, you could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of this thing.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 3: The Gang Finds A Dumpster Baby

milk Drink Amazing surprise

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Cannibalism? Racism? Dude, that's not for us...those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington. We're just here to eat some dude!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Dennis: Manhunters

Cannibalism food Politics Decisions

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Dennis: Lay it on us, bud.

Mac: It involves us pulling up our bootstraps, oiling up a couple of asses, and doing a little plowing of our own. Not gay sex.

— Mac, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis

gay Sex Euphomism Hard Work

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Keep singing, bitch! You're not gonna have a face by the time I'm through with you!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh

Singing Anger Threat Mad insults

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Here's a confession: I'm in love with a man. What? I'm in love with a man... a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: The Gang Exploits A Miracle

Love gay God Religion

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Mac: Do you want to shove heroin into your a?

Charlie: Dude, I don't want to shove anything in my a!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 2: Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad

butt Drugs Shove

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Dee: How could you not tell me you were gay?

Terrell: I'm a musical theater actor living in Philadelphia! I didn't think it was that big a secret.

— Deandra Reynolds (Kaitlin Olson), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 1: The Gang Gets Racist

gay Musical Theatre actor Secret Sassy

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