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Charlie Day Quotes

Total quotes (86)

Charlie Day

Charlie Day

Birthname

AKA Charlie Day

Birthday February 9, 1976

Birthplace New York City, NY, United States

Educated At Merrimack College

Nationality United States Of America

Occupations Television Actor, Film Actor, Screenwriter, Actor

Spouse Mary Elizabeth Ellis

Characters Portrayed

Charlie Kelly

Total quotes (86)

If animals have taught me anything, it's that you can easily die and very quickly under a bus and on the side of the road.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Gets Stranded in the Woods

Animals Death bus Road Kill

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Principal: I'm a little confused, are you telling me this photo of Bruce Jenner is your resume?

Charlie: Well, when I showed up this morning I didn't have a formal resume on me so I was sort of hoping the photograph of Mr. Jenner could represent the standard of excellence I'm hoping to bring to this position.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Gets a New Member

excellence Bruce Jenner resumé Application

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It's when you drink so much that everything goes brown. It's not as severe as a black out because I remember bits and pieces. I call it browning out.

— Mac (Rob McElhenney), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: Who Got Dee Pregnant

Black Out Drinking Drunk Alcohol Browning Out

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Just so I'm clear, you don't actually think things are going to come alive because you're spending the night in museum, right?

— Deandra Reynolds (Kaitlin Olson), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: Who Got Dee Pregnant

Night At Museum alive Movie

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Mac: Hey bro, how'd you lose your hand?

Sailor: Diabetes.

Mac: That's not much of an adventure is it? Kind of tragic.

— Mac (Rob McElhenney), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Buys a Boat

Diabetes hand tragic Adventure

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Frank: Anyone want any more catfish?

Charlie: Yo dude. Definitely give me another one of those. They're delicious. And you can taste that sort of endangered tang...

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Buys a Boat

Endangered food Catfish

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Dennis: The whole purpose of buying the boat in the first place was to get the ladies nice and tipsy top side, so we can take them to a nice comfortable place below deck, and you know, they can't refuse...because of the implication.

Mac: Okay you had me goin' there for the first half. The second half kinda threw me.

Dennis: Well dude, think about it. She's out in the middle of nowhere, with some dude she barely knows. She looks around and what does she see? Nothing but open ocean. 'Ah there's nowhere for me to run! What am I gonna do, say no?'

Mac: Okay. That seems really dark.

— Dennis Reynolds (Glenn Howerton), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 6: The Gang Buys a Boat

creepy boat Ladies Sex dark Implication

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Charlie: I'll pull a Good Will Hunting. What's your major dude?

Frat Boy: Economics

Charlie: (In Boston accent) Oh, I bet you read a lotta Gordon Wood, huh? You read your Gordon Wood and you regurgitate it from a textbook and you think you're wicked awesome doin' that, And how 'bout' dem apples? And all that Gordon Wood business.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Gang Reignites the Rivalry

Good Will Hunting Economics Smart Impressive

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I'll just regress, because I feel I've made myself perfectly redundant.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: Paddy's Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens

Regress Redundant Nonsense

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So the Wendy's manager was like 'You gotta clean dat up!' and I was like they're your hamburgers you clean them up. Artemis was all bummed out about something I did to myself with the onions and now she won't talk to me.

— Frank Reynolds (Danny DeVito), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married

Clean Up Gross Onions upset

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[trying to say philanthropist] I'm a full-on-rapist.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married

accident Misspoke

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[trying to say philanthropist] I'm a full-on-rapist.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married

accident Misspoke

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Dennis: Okay, alright what’s your favorite hobby?

Charlie: Uhh…magnets.

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married

Hobbies Magnets Weird

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Charlie: Do wasps make honey?

Dennis: No wasps do not make honey.

Charlie: Alright well I'm gonna check it out anyway, there could be something delicious in here that wasps do make and I want that

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Waitress Is Getting Married

Wasp Bees Honey Exploring Questions

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Dee: Maybe you shouldn't have your window open!

Mac: maybe you shouldn't be throwing jars of piss out the window!

— Mac (Rob McElhenney), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Gang Hits the Road

window Piss Gross angry

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I eat stickers all the time dude!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Gang Hits the Road

Stickers Gross food

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I eat stickers all the time dude!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 5: The Gang Hits the Road

Stickers Gross food

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Keep singing, bitch! You're not gonna have a face by the time I'm through with you!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh

Singing Anger Threat Mad insults

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I am going to smack everyone into tiny...little...pieces!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh

Anger Frustration Smack annoyed

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I am going to smack everyone into tiny...little...pieces!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh

Anger Frustration Smack annoyed

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I was that little boy, that little baby boy was me! I once was a boy, but now I'm a man! I fought the Nightman, lived as Dayman, now I'm here to ask for your hand, so if you are too merry m'am will you marry me? Will you come on stage and join me in this thing called matrimony? Please say yes and do not bone me, please just marry me!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh

Marriage Proposal stage Matrimony

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I was that little boy, that little baby boy was me! I once was a boy, but now I'm a man! I fought the Nightman, lived as Dayman, now I'm here to ask for your hand, so if you are too merry m'am will you marry me? Will you come on stage and join me in this thing called matrimony? Please say yes and do not bone me, please just marry me!

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh

Marriage Proposal stage Matrimony

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Frank: You gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole. You gotta pay the troll toll to get in. You want this baby boy's hole, you gotta pay the troll toll.

Charlie: Stop, stop, stop. All right not bad, good rhythm, love the enthusiasm. I feel like you're saying 'boy's hole', and it's clearly 'soul.'

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: The Nightman Cometh

Mistakes Troll Hole Musical

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You wanna talk about stress? You wanna talk about stress?! Okay! I've stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, Mac--how 'bout that for stress?

— Charlie Kelly (Charlie Day), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack

Stress company Conspiracy Stressed Out

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Surprise, bitches! We're alive and it's blowing your minds right now!

— Deandra Reynolds (Kaitlin Olson), It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Season 4: Mac and Charlie Die: Part Two

surprise alive Shock crazy Mind Blown

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