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Charlie Kelly

32 quotesMale

All food (3)Anger (3)Frustration (2)Sassy (2)stage (1)Application (1)Eagle (1)Pity (1)Politics (1)Questions (1)Proposal (1)Magnets (1)Questioning (1)Problem Solving (1)Honey (1)

From “The Gang Gets Racist”

Domino, biatch!

Sassy Games

From “Charlie Wants an Abortion”

Oh my God! I will...I will smash your face into- into a jelly!

Anger Violence Frustration jelly

From “Charlie Has Cancer”

I'm cracking eggs of wisdom!

eggs Wisdom Problem Solving

From “Charlie Got Molested”

Charlie: Okay, okay. First of all, there are people out there who actually have been molested and you guys are going to exploit that for your own personal gain? You jackholes are securing your places in hell. Ryan: We've thought about it. We're willing to roll the dice.

Molested Hell Chance Personal Gain

From “Charlie Gets Crippled”

Charlie: [in a wheelchair and army vet attire] This costume, the chicks is gonna go crazy all over it. Frank: Maybe you should let me do all the talking. Charlie: No, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. So watch and learn. Stripper: Awww, look at you sweetie, what happened? Charlie: [shouting]…

War Wheelchair Pity

From “The Gang Goes Jihad”

Dennis: This Jew's in for a ton of work. Mac: Come on, man! You can't say things like that! Dennis: I don't know what I said. What'd I say? Charlie: Uh, you dropped a hard 'J' on us.

Jewish Sassy Shock

From “Mac Bangs Dennis' Mom”

No no no, that's not gonna help. That's not gonna help and I'll tell you why: It doesn't unbang your Mom.

Sex Mom Advice

From “The Gang Exploits A Miracle”

You know what dude, hear me out for a second okay. Now technically, that stain did appear to me. Also I am familiar with carpentry and I don't know who my father is. So, am I the messiah? I don't know, I could be, I'm not ruling it out

jesus father Messiah Questioning

Here's a confession: I'm in love with a man. What? I'm in love with a man... a man named God. Does that make me gay? Am I gay for God? You betcha.

Love gay God Religion

From “Charlie Goes America All Over Everybody's Ass”

I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a little butt, I'm gonna to kick some butt in the U.S.A., gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna drive a big truck, I'm gonna rule this world, I'm gonna kick some butt, I'm gonna rise up, I'm gonna kick a…

USA Kick Butt Eagle Patriotic Flag

From “Dennis and Dee Get a New Dad”

Mac: Do you want to shove heroin into your a**? Charlie: Dude, I don't want to shove anything in my a**!

butt Drugs Shove

From “The Gang Finds A Dumpster Baby”

Dude, it's amazing. Look at this. Bro, you could chop a camel right in the hump and drink all of its milk right off the tip of this thing.

milk Drink Amazing surprise

From “The Gang Sells Out”

Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet, and squeeze down into a job cannon, AND FIRE OFF INTO JOBLAND, WHERE JOBS GROW ON JOBBIES?!!!

Jobs Employment Sarcasm

From “Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person”

Glue is for huffing, dude!

Glue Huffing

From “The Gang Dances Their Asses Off”

Mac: I do not even understand the smell coming from your body, dude. Charlie: Oh my God, dude, relax. Dude, I forgot to put on deodorant, okay? Mac: I have never once, never once seen you wear deodorant, Charlie, never once. Charlie: Yeah well, you never seen me once wash my testicles either but…

Smells Deodorant Washing testicles

From “Mac and Dennis”

Cannibalism? Racism? Dude, that's not for us...those decisions are better left to the suits in Washington. We're just here to eat some dude!

Cannibalism food Politics Decisions

From “Mac and Charlie Die”

Of course I'm gonna explode. You think I'm not gonna explode?

Explode Overreact crazy

From “Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack”

You wanna talk about stress? You wanna talk about stress?! Okay! I've stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, Mac--how 'bout that for stress?

Stress company Conspiracy Stressed Out

From “The Nightman Cometh”

I am going to smack everyone into tiny...little...pieces!

Anger Frustration Smack annoyed

Frank: You gotta pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole. You gotta pay the troll toll to get in. You want this baby boy's hole, you gotta pay the troll toll. Charlie: Stop, stop, stop. All right not bad, good rhythm, love the enthusiasm. I feel like you're saying 'boy's hole', and it's…

Mistakes Troll Hole Musical

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