Amy Schumer: Live at the Apollo

37 Jokes From The Funniest Women In America

The whole concept that women aren't funny is dead. It's over; it's done. 
Kendra Syrdal
August 25, 2016
“Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.”
— Ellen Degeneres, Seriously...I'm Kidding
Tagged: Women in Comedy, Serial Killers, Funny, Self-Acceptance
“I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.”
— Ellen Degeneres, Seriously...I'm Kidding
Tagged: Women in Comedy, Drunk, Drinking, Pregnancy
“I wonder if Donald Trump watches footage of himself and thinks, 'I look great.'”
— Chelsea Handler, Twitter
Tagged: Women in Comedy, Donald Trump
“The Backstreet Boys are releasing a new album, and all their fans ovaries are releasing their last eggs.”
— Chelsea Handler, Twitter
Tagged: Women in Comedy, Backstreet Boys
“I guess ultimately I just want to be someone's cell phone background.”
— Whitney Cummings, Twitter
Tagged: Women in Comedy, Love
“When did avocado toast become the new crack cocaine?”
— Whitney Cummings, Twitter
Tagged: Women in Comedy, food
“I hate Arizona. It always eight hundred degrees outside and everybody’s always saying, ‘But it’s a dry heat!’ So’s the inside of my microwave.”
— Joan Rivers, I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me
Tagged: Women in Comedy, Heat, Arizona