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50 Things Every Virgin Should Know Before Having Sex For The Very First Time

If you're not sure if you had an orgasm, you haven't. 
Holly Riordan
October 26, 2016
“Sex is best when you really feel comfortable.”
— Hannah Orenstein, 11 Girls Reveal What They Wish They Had Known Before Having Sex for the First Time
Tagged: Virgins, comfortable, Relaxed, Sex
“Sex doesn’t change who you are on the inside.”
— Hannah Orenstein, 11 Girls Reveal What They Wish They Had Known Before Having Sex for the First Time
Tagged: Virgins, Change, Sex, Personality
“Sex should be fun for both of you.”
— Hannah Orenstein, 11 Girls Reveal What They Wish They Had Known Before Having Sex for the First Time
Tagged: Virgins, Sex, Fun, Equality
“Safety first. There's no such thing as totally safe sex, but you sure can be safer. Make sure he's wearing a condom (even if you're on the Pill) and talk about your respective sexual histories. I know it may sound like a buzz-kill, but heterosexual women have a higher risk of contracting an STI (sexually transmitted infection) than men, so it's up to you to take a proactive interest in your sexual health.”
— Ian Kerner, First-Time Sex
Tagged: Virgins, safe sex, condoms, STI, STD
“Don't forget to enjoy foreplay. All the stuff that leads up to intercourse — kissing, touching, oral sex — is part of the sexual experience; it's not just about penetration.”
— Ian Kerner, First-Time Sex
Tagged: Virgins, foreplay, Kissing, Oral Sex, penetration
“Make sure you're amply aroused before intercourse. Not only do you want to be genuinely turned on, you want to be sufficiently lubricated. If you're too dry, he'll have trouble entering you, you'll feel discomfort, and the friction can cause the condom to rip. So, keep water–based lube on hand just in case.”
— Ian Kerner, First-Time Sex
Tagged: Virgins, turned on, lube, aroused
“Losing your v card might involve penetration, or it might involve anal sex, oral sex, manual stimulation, dildos, whatever. There’s no rule that your first time has to meet a specific set of criteria.”
— Casey Gueren, 19 Things You Should Know Before You Lose Your Virginity
Tagged: Virgins, Oral Sex, dildos, penetration
“If your first time involves penetration, a little pain or pressure might be expected. That said, it should still be overall pleasurable — not painful. So if it hurts a lot, stop. This could be a signal that you need more foreplay or lubrication.”
— Casey Gueren, 19 Things You Should Know Before You Lose Your Virginity
Tagged: Virgins, Vagina, bleeding, Blood
“It can take some people literally years before they figure out how to orgasm with another person, so don’t expect it to happen right off the bat.”
— Casey Gueren, 19 Things You Should Know Before You Lose Your Virginity
Tagged: Virgins, orgasm, Sex, Patience
“If you want to tell your partner you’re a virgin, it’s best to clear the air in the beginning. Who knows… maybe he’s a virgin as well! And if he has a problem with you being a virgin, then he’s not worth losing it to.”
— Katie Szymanski, Sex: What to Expect From Your First Time
Tagged: Virgins, Honesty, Truth
“It’s uncommon for girls to experience an orgasm during sex for the first time because they aren’t familiar with interacting with a partner.”
— Katie Szymanski, Sex: What to Expect From Your First Time
Tagged: Virgins, orgasm, Sex, Partner
“Girls should become comfortable with their own bodies before having sex.”
— Katie Szymanski, Sex: What to Expect From Your First Time
Tagged: Virgins, comfortable, Self-Love, Self-Confidence, body confidence
“Honestly? Your first time might feel really anti-climatic. I know mine did. Once it was over, I was like, Wait, that's it? That's what everyone obsesses over?”
— Jessica Booth, 10 Things You Need To Know Before You Lose Your Virginity- Gurl.com
Tagged: Virgins, anti-climatic, Sex
“You can read up sex tips, but everyone's first time is different with different circumstances. I know it sounds scary to go into it unprepared, but once you're doing it, you'll somehow just know what to do and where to go. And you'll figure out more through time.”
— Jessica Booth, 10 Things You Need To Know Before You Lose Your Virginity- Gurl.com - Gurl.com
Tagged: Virgins, sex tips, Natural, unprepared
“Because your first time might be awkward, you should do what you can to make yourself feel comfortable. If that means having the lights off, keeping your shirt on or staying in one position the only time, so be it. Don't do things you don't want to do because that will only make you more uncomfortable.”
— Jessica Booth, 10 Things You Need To Know Before You Lose Your Virginity- Gurl.com
Tagged: Virgins, comfortable, lights, clothing
“Is your partner single, in a monogamous relationship, an open relationship, married, or something in between? Find out. It’s totally up to you how you want to proceed, but you should at least have all of the info up front.”
— Lara Rutherford-Morrison, 10 Things You Absolutely Must Know Before You Have Sex With Someone
Tagged: Virgins, relationship status, Single, married
“Before you get into bed with someone, be sure that you have a clear idea of what the sex will mean for your relationship with that person. Is this going to be a one-time hookup? Is this a casual, but potentially ongoing thing? Is this the start of an LTR? Does sleeping together automatically mean you are no longer seeing other people, or are you both comfortable with making that decision based on some other measure of seriousness? How serious is sex to the two of you? There are no fundamentally "wrong" answers to these questions—but what is wrong is not making sure that both people have a clear understanding of the answers before you get each other in a vulnerable position.”
— Lara Rutherford-Morrison, 10 Things You Absolutely Must Know Before You Have Sex With Someone
Tagged: Virgins, Questions, relationship status, friends with benefits, Dating
“Don’t sleep with someone unless you really, honest-to-God want to. You should never feel pressured to have sex because you think you’re expected to, regardless of how much you’ve been flirting or how long you’ve been dating.”
— Lara Rutherford-Morrison, 10 Things You Absolutely Must Know Before You Have Sex With Someone
Tagged: Virgins, peer pressure, Choices, Decisions
“Most commonly, pain or bleeding isn't about the hymen at all. Instead, it is more commonly about about feeling nervous, rushed, unsafe or scared, not aroused enough or having a partner be too hasty. Not communicating that something hurts, and keeping on in silence is another common culprit with pain during intercourse.”
— Heather Corinna, First Intercourse 101
Tagged: Virgins, Pain, hymen, Communication
“When you're done with intercourse, take off the condom -- away from the vulva -- slowly, knot it, and throw it away. When you're pulling the penis out of the vagina, you'll want to hold onto the base of the condom so it doesn't slip off before you're ready for it to come off.”
— Heather Corinna, First Intercourse 101
Tagged: Virgins, condoms, Protection
“Give yourself what you need after any kind of sex, and ask your partner for what you need from them, and to voice their own needs. You may want to snuggle, talk, or go have lunch or take a walk together. You may instead want some time alone. It's up to each of you.”
— Heather Corinna, First Intercourse 101
Tagged: Virgins, Communication, alone time, cuddling
“Are you emotionally and mentally ready to have sex? For most women, sex and emotions cannot be separated – it’s how we’re wired. We release a bonding chemical called oxytocin during sex that can leave us catching feelings if we’re not too careful. If you’re not sure if he is worthy of the honor of deflowering you, or if you’re not clear of your feelings towards him, you should wait.”
— Brooke Dean, Turning In Your "V" Card: Things To Consider Before Having Sex For The First Time
Tagged: Virgins, emotions, Feelings, Sex
“Do you know how to please yourself? Do you know what you like, what you don’t like, what arouses you or what turns you off? You may want to spend some ‘alone time’ with yourself so that you can feel comfortable with your own sexuality. Having sex for the first time can be an intense experience leaving you feeling nervous and anxious, so trying to become relaxed enough to actually enjoy it may be difficult. If you’re comfortable with your own body and sexuality, it’ll be easier to let loose.”
— Brooke Dean, Turning In Your "V" Card: Things To Consider Before Having Sex For The First Time
Tagged: Virgins, masturbation, comfortable, sexuality
“If you are deciding to become sexually active, it’s a good idea to discuss birth control with your doctor before you have sex.”
— Brooke Dean, Turning In Your "V" Card: Things To Consider Before Having Sex For The First Time
Tagged: Virgins, sexually active, gyno, doctor, birth control
“Empty out your bladder before starting. Stopping to pee is one of the biggest mood-killers in the world. So hydrate yourself, pee it all out and then get it on.”
— Sukhmani Waraich, This Is What You Must Know before Having Sex for the First Time
Tagged: Virgins, Bladder, bathroom, Pee
“Queefing, aka noisy fart from the vagina, is perfectly normal. You may hear a loud, uncontrollable fart-like sound from your vagina while you're having sex. But it's not exactly a fart. Penetrative sex causes air to escape from the vagina and, expectedly so, it makes a noise. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”
— Sukhmani Waraich, This Is What You Must Know before Having Sex for the First Time
Tagged: Virgins, queefs, embarrassing, noises
“You can stop whenever you want. Regardless of how turned on your partner is or whatever deed of angels they may have done, you do not owe them sex. Ever. You should know that if you're uncomfortable at any point, you should ask your partner to stop immediately and assert it more forcefully if they don't listen.”
— Sukhmani Waraich, This Is What You Must Know before Having Sex for the First Time
Tagged: Virgins, Consent, Stop, Sex
“Many women find it hard to ejaculate through vaginal intercourse and the only thing that works for them is clitoral stimulation.”
— Nirmalya Dutta, First time having sex? Here's an 'all you need to know' guide for men
Tagged: Virgins, orgasm, clitoris, vaginal intercourse
“The most important thing you’ve to keep in mind is that NO ONE is good the first time. Sex like everything else takes practice and you will get better with experience. So don’t worry about it and just enjoy your first time.”
— Nirmalya Dutta, First time having sex? Here's an 'all you need to know' guide for men
Tagged: Virgins, Experience, practice, relax
“Stop being nervous and simply enjoy the moment. Forget everything you’ve ever seen in the movies and porn because that’s not real.”
— Nirmalya Dutta, First time having sex? Here's an 'all you need to know' guide for men
Tagged: Virgins, enjoy the moment, Porn, relax