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Fargo Quotes

“Madam, it’s just lazy to steal from someone without knowing their name.”
— V.M. Vargas, Fargo, Season 3: The Lord of No Mercy
Tagged: Theft, steal, Lazy, Rude
“If evidence is collected, if confessions are made, if a verdict of guilty is entered in a court of law, then its happening becomes as the rocks and rivers, and to argue that it didn’t happen is to argue with reality itself.”
— V.M. Vargas, Fargo, Season 3: Somebody to Love
Tagged: evidence, Confessions, guilty, Rivers
“In the favelas of Brazil, there are six-year-olds with Glocks. They roam in packs, stealing whatever they can find. Mexican lowlifes stream into this country like wolves, eyeing our women and children. In the Congo, a family of six live on 10 cents a day. You turn on the TV, what do you see? Boat people. Mass migration. You’re living in the age of the refugee, my friend.”
— V.M. Vargas, Fargo, Season 3: The Lord of No Mercy
Tagged: Refugee, favelas, Brazil, glocks, Congo, boat people
“Perception of reality becomes reality.”
— V.M. Vargas, Fargo, Season 3: The Lord of No Mercy
Tagged: Perception, Reality
“There’s an accounting coming, Mr. Stussy, and you know I’m right. Mongol hordes descending. Now what are you doing to insulate yourself and your family? You think you’re rich. You’ve no idea what ‘rich’ means. ‘Rich’ is a fleet of private planes filled with decoys to mask your scent. It’s a banker in Wyoming and another in Gstaad. So that’s action item one, the accumulation of wealth, and I mean wealth, not money.”
— V.M. Vargas, Fargo, Season 3: The Lord of No Mercy
Tagged: Wealth, rich, mongol hordes, wyoming, gstaad
“Things of consequence rarely happen by accident.”
— V.M. Vargas, Fargo, Season 3: The Lord of No Mercy
Tagged: accident, coincidence
“Very good. You just added a zero to your salary.”
— V.M. Vargas, Fargo, Season 3: Aporia
Tagged: salary raise
“The problem is not that there is evil in the world, the problem is that there is good. Because otherwise, who would care?”
— V.M. Vargas, Fargo, Season 3: Aporia
Tagged: Good, Evil, Apathy
“A chicken is an egg’s way of making another egg.”
— V.M. Vargas, Fargo, Season 3: The House of Special Purpose
Tagged: chicken, egg, Reproduction
“A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg. You see, it's all a matter of perspective. The chicken sees it one way, the egg another. So let's start again: this is not your office, just as your wife would not be your wife if I came to her in the night with a platter of cold cuts.”
— V.M. Vargas, Fargo, Season 3: The House of Special Purpose
Tagged: chicken, egg, Cycle of Life
“Nikki Swango: Ray, there's a man in my bathroom.

Ray Stussy: Let's not jump to any conclusions.

Nikki Swango: Are you saying he's not a man or he's not in my bathroom?”
— Nikki Swango, Fargo, Season 3: The Law of Vacant Places
Tagged: Misheard, jumping to conclusions
“You have made me the happiest woman ever. Now let's make a sex tape.”
— Nikki Swango, Fargo, Season 3: The Lord of No Mercy
Tagged: sex tape, romance
“Hotel clerk: Room 203. Very nice room, very nice. It's got air conditioning. You can smell the ocean.

Gloria Burgle: There's a view?

Hotel clerk: No, there's a smell. At low tide.”
— Gloria Burgle, Fargo, Season 3: The Law of Non-Contradiction
Tagged: hotels, Smells, Ocean
“Mike Milligan: Sovereignty is absolute power and authority.

Ricky G: Like a king?

Mike Milligan: Exactly. Which is who I am —your king.

Ricky G: Uh, it's America, brother. We don't do kings.”
— Mike Milligan, Fargo, Season 2: Palindrome
Tagged: Sovereignty, kings, Monarchy, America
“Jeb Cheney: You Minnesota boys don't got much in the way of backbone, now, do ya?

Hank Larsson: Well, now, I wouldn't say that. Just like to think things through.”
— Sheriff Hank Larsson, Fargo, Season 2: The Castle
Tagged: Minnesota, Backbone
“Ed Blomquist: Maybe you heard of me—the Butcher of Luverne.

Mike Milligan: I have heard of you. And may I say, brother, I like your style.”
— Ed Blomquist, Fargo, Season 2: Loplop
Tagged: murderers, style, Hybristophilia
“Mike Milligan: There's a man.

Ben Schmidt: What—what man?

Mike Milligan: Just a man. He works in a factory. One day, the boss gets it in his mind that this man is stealing from him. So, every night at the gate, the guards search his wheelbarrow. But they never find anything.

Ben Schmidt: Pat him down.

Mike Milligan: Oh, they do that. Strip him naked—nothin'.

Ben Schmidt: So he's not stealin'.

Mike Milligan: Of course he is.

Lou Solverson: Wheelbarrows.

Mike Milligan: Thank you. That's right. He's stealing wheelbarrows.

Ben Schmidt: What?

Mike Milligan: My point is sometimes the answer is so obvious you can't see it because you're looking too hard.”
— Mike Milligan, Fargo, Season 2: Did You Do This? No, You Did It!
Tagged: parables, Stories, Fables, Wheelbarrows, Occam's Razor, Obvious Answer
“Son, I could fill out a steamer trunk with the amount of stupid I think you are.”
— Hank Larrson, Fargo, Season 2: Rhinoceros
Tagged: Stupid, insults, Sick Burns
“Noreen Vanderslice: Camus says knowing we're all gonna die makes life a joke.

Ed Blomquist: So what, you just—you just give up?

Noreen Vanderslice: You could kill yourself, get it over with.”
— Ed Blomquist, Fargo, Season 2: The Gift of the Magi
Tagged: Albert Camus, Suicide, Life, Existentialism, Give Up, Surrender
“Nobody killed a judge. We own all the judges. What'd be the point of killing one?”
— Dodd Gerhardt, Fargo, Season 2: The Myth of Sisyphus
Tagged: Judges, judicial corruption, payoffs, Bribery
“Peggy Blomquist: We got a plan, you know?

Constance Heck: The word 'we' is a castle, hon, with a moat and a drawbridge. And you know what gets locked up in castles?

Peggy Blomquist: Dragons?

Constance Heck: Princesses. Don't be a prisoner of ‘we.’”
— Peggy Blomquist, Fargo, Season 2: Before the Law
Tagged: plans, castles, dragons, Prisoner
“Simone Gerhardt: You know what depresses me? I missed the '60s—free love, drop acid, Woodstock. Wake up one day, decide you want to call yourself Flower Rainblossom, you just call yourself Flower Rainblossom.

Mike Milligan: Yeah, but the '70s were always coming, like a—what do you...A hangover. And you know what happened to Flower Rainblossom? She's on methadone in Bismarck, turning tricks for breakfast meat.

Simone Gerhardt: I know. But at least I would've had fun, be free like how you get to dream before you wake up.”
— Simone Gerhardt, Fargo, Season 2: Fear and Trembling
Tagged: 1960s, 1970s, woodstock, LSD, Hangover, Methadone, Bismarck
“Hanzee Dent: No drugs, your dad says. Says anyone sells to you gets the axe.

Simone Gerhardt: Geez, you're all a bunch of squares. Sometimes a girl just wants to bust a nut, ya know?”
— Hanzee Dent, Fargo, Season 2: The Myth of Sisyphus
Tagged: Drugs, bust a nut, squares
“Lou Solverson: It's a diner robbery in Minnesota, Karl. Not a presidential assassination.

Karl Weathers: Oh, sure. That's how it starts—with something small, like a break-in at the Watergate Hotel. But just watch. This thing's only getting bigger.”
— Karl Weathers, Fargo, Season 2: Waiting for Dutch
Tagged: Presidential Assassination, Minnesota, Robbery, Watergate
“Rye Gerhardt: I'm a man.

Dodd Gerhardt: You're the comic in a piece of bubble gum!”
— Dodd Gerhardt, Fargo, Season 2: Waiting for Dutch
Tagged: Man, Bubble Gum, comic, Insult, unmanly
“I used to have positive opinions about the world, you know, about people. Used to think the best. Now I'm looking over my shoulder. An unquiet mind, that's what the wife calls it. The job has got me staring into the fireplace, drinking. I never wanted to be the type to think big thoughts about the nature of things and...all I ever wanted was a stack of pancakes and a V-8.”
— Bill Oswalt, Fargo, Season 1: Morton's Fork
Tagged: Jaded, Optimism, Pessimism, Pancakes
“Gus Grimly: They're gonna give me a citation for bravery.

Greta Grimly: You? Come on, you're afraid of spiders.

Gus Grimly: Buzz Aldrin was afraid of spiders, and he went into space.”
— Greta Grimly, Fargo, Season 1: Morton's Fork
Tagged: Buzz Aldrin, Spiders, Arachnophobia, Bravery
“Burt Canton: She stopped putting it in her mouth soon as the ring went on her finger.

Lorne Malvo: Well, that's a national tragedy, Burt.”
— Lorne Malvo, Fargo, Season 1: A Fox, a Rabbit, and a Cabbage
Tagged: blowjobs, Marriage, Dead Bedrooms, national tragedy
“You're gonna think it's funny, but I always wanted to work for the post office. And be a mailman. I like that you get to see the same people every day. Bring 'em that check they've been waiting for. Presents for Christmas. You know, be part of the community.”
— Gus Grimly, Fargo, Season 1: Buridan's Ass
Tagged: Community, Christmas, Post Office, Mailman
“This is a community. People watch each other's backs. Someone gets sick, someone dies, you bring a casserole, help.”
— Ari Ziskind, Fargo, Season 1: The Six Ungraspables
Tagged: Community, help
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