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Quotes tagged ‘accident’

(38 total)

It's funny how those happy accidents can change the whole direction of your life. Although looking back, happy may be the wrong word.

— Aline Brosh McKenna, Dana Fox, Tony McNamara, Estella, Emma Stone, imdb.com

I've made a huge tiny mistake.

— Mitchell Hurwitz, Jim Vallely, Karey Dornetto, Gob Bluth, Will Arnett, imdb.com

You think he shit his own pants to look innocent?

— Dan Lagana, Peter Maldonado, Tyler Alvarez, imdb.com

I think I smashed my butt.

— Rob Klein, Michael Patrick O'Brien, Jack Griffin, Glenn Howerton, imdb.com

And of course the swastikas that were on the latest newsletter were supposed to have been octopuses. I am a very bad artist, and I apologize to any student I may have offended.

— Michael Patrick O'Brien, Rob Klein, Principal Durbin, Patton Oswalt, imdb.com

Oh. Dropped my cucumber.

— Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, imdb.com

Don't get drunk and shit in your sink again.

— Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Fleabag, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, imdb.com

Adam Groff: You said there was gonna be no judgement. Is three viagras bad? Her reaction made it seem like it was bad. I feel lightheaded and I can taste scampi. Maeve Wiley: No wonder. You could besiege a castle with that thing. Adam Groff: I said stop staring at it! Maeve Wiley: Sorry, it's like a…

— Laurie Nunn, Maeve Wiley, Emma Mackey, imdb.com

[speaking to the group] I came to Venice by accident. No, let me rephrase that. I came to Venice because of an accident. Ten years ago, I killed a man. It was my fault. There's no excuse for it. You see, when it's left up to me, my best thinking, well, my best thinking tells me it's okay to get load…

— Will Arnett, Mark Chappell, Chip, Will Arnett, imdb.com

Things of consequence rarely happen by accident.

— Bob DeLaurentis, Noah Hawley, V.M. Vargas, David Thewlis, imdb.com

He had an accident when he was a kid. Still has a hum in the drum. Plays music to drown it out. And that's what makes him the best.

— Edgar Wright, Doc, Kevin Spacey, imdb.com

Coach Boone: [after Gary got into his car accident] I don't know mama, maybe Yost was right. Maybe I pushed him too hard. Carol Boone: Gary had an accident. Sometimes life's just hard, for no reason at all. Coach Boone: Do you think I was blinded by my own ambition? Carol Boone: Whatever kind of amb…

— Gregory Allen Howard, Coach Herman Boone, Denzel Washington, imdb.com

SpongeBoy, me Bob!

— Steve Fonti, Chris Mitchell, Mr. Lawrence, Mr. Krabs, Clancy Brown, imdb.com

What if he gets into an accident? What if he’s horribly disfigured, and I have to identify him, and all that remains are his private parts? I’m standing there, I’m saying, ‘Sorry, officer, I can’t help you, because no, I haven’t seen his penis.’ An then boom, he’s buried in an unmarked grave.

— J. J. Philbin, Schmidt, Max Greenfield, imdb.com

Bart: I've got a story so scary you'll wet your pants. Grampa: Too late.

— Wallace Wolodarsky, Sam Simon, Mike Reiss, Al Jean, Jon Vitti, Jay Kogen, Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright, imdb.com

Jace Wayland: That tree almost tore Simon's pretty face off. Simon Lewis: You think I'm pretty?

— Taylor Mallory, Simon Lewis, Alberto Rosende, imdb.com

Abbi: What is your return policy? Cashier: It's 30 days. Abbi: Great, I'll see you in 30 days then....biiiiiiiiiiitch. Cashier: You still need to sign the receipt.

— Ilana Glazer, Abbi Jacobson, Abbi Abrams, Abbi Jacobson, imdb.com

Burger World manager: You don't get workers compensation for fighting, it has to be an accident. Beavis: You mean we, like, need to poop in our pants?

— Dave Hughes, Beavis, Mike Judge, imdb.com

Tommy: Chuckie, I don't think most babies have your problem. Chuckie: Really? I thought everybody wet the bed once in a while. Tommy: Wet the bed? We thought you were talking about something else. Lil: Yeah, We wet the bed all the time. Phil: Every chance we get!

— Jonathan Blum, Jonathan Greenberg, Lil DeVille, Kath Soucie, imdb.com

Cartman: You were right, doctor. Everything is okay. Doctor: No, it's not. Eric, I'm afraid we accidentally infected you with the AIDS virus.

— Eric Cartman, Trey Parker, imdb.com

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