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“And then sometimes, you knew you shouldn't do it, but you just couldn't help yourself. You gave him lip. I guess we really didn't understand why he was so hard on us sometimes. Because sometimes, and I remember these times so distinctly, my dad could be great. He could be so much fun. You never wanted that feeling to end. And then, for some reason, it always would.”
— Carol Black, Neal Marlens, The Wonder Years, Season 1: My Father's Office
Tagged: talking back, giving lip
“Maybe we both realized that growing up doesn’t always have to be a straight line, but a series of advances and retreats. Maybe we just felt like swinging. But whatever it was, Winnie and I made an unspoken pact that day to stay kids for a little while longer.”
— Narrator (Adult Kevin), The Wonder Years, Season 1: Swingers
Tagged: Growing Up, Swinging
“It was the first kiss for both of us. We never really talked about it afterward, but I think about the events of that day again and again, and somehow I know that Winnie does too. Whenever some blowhard starts talking about the anonymity of the suburbs, or the mindlessness of the TV generation. Because we know that inside each one of those identical boxes, with its Dodge parked out front, and its white bread on the table, and its TV set glowing blue in the falling dusk, there were people with stories. There were families bound together in the pain and the struggle of love. There were moments that made us cry with laughter. And there were moments, like that one, of sorrow and wonder.”
— Narrator (Adult Kevin), The Wonder Years, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Dodge, first kiss
“Nineteen-sixty-eight...I was twelve years old. A lot happened that year. Dennis McLain won thirty-one games...'The Mod Squad' hit the air...And I graduated from Hillcrest Elementary, and entered junior high school. But we'll get to that. There's no pretty way to put this...I grew up in the suburbs. I guess most people think of the suburb as a place with all the disadvantages of the city, and none of the advantages of the country. And vice versa. But, in a way, those really were the wonder years for us there in the suburbs. It was kind of a golden age for kids.”
— Narrator (Adult Kevin), The Wonder Years, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Mod Squad
“ALF: Why don't you ring up Ann-Margret and get her over here?

Aaron King: Sure... I'll just head on over to Graceland and pick up my Rolodex.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 3: Suspicious Minds
Tagged: Ann-Margret, Rolodex, Graceland
“Aaron King: Can I pet you?

ALF: Only above the waist.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 3: Suspicious Minds
Tagged: petting, Sexual Harassment
“Willie Tanner: You've convinced me ALF, that we're living two doors down the street from Elvis Presley and Raquel is Janis Joplin and Trevor is Buddy Holly.

ALF: That'll be the day!”
— Willie Tanner, ALF, Season 3: Suspicious Minds
Tagged: Elvis Presley, Buddy Holly, janis joplin
“Raquel Ochmonek: Mark my words, that man who lived next door to us was Buddy Holly.

ALF: [pops open the shutters in the kitchen after Raquel leaves] Boy, is she gullible! Everybody knows Buddy Holly runs a bait and tackle shop in Phoenix.”
— Raquel Ochmonek, ALF, Season 3: Suspicious Minds
Tagged: Buddy Holly, Phoenix, Mistaken Identity
“ALF: ELVIS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!

Willie Tanner: That was not Elvis Presley.

ALF: Are you kidding?, he was on that sandwich like red beans on rice.

Lynn Tanner: He didn't seem like Elvis to me either.

ALF: Elvis was a brilliant actor. He could play anything from a singing race car driver to a singing deep sea diver.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 3: Suspicious Minds
Tagged: Elvis, Elvis Presley, Elvis Has Left The Building
“Aaron King: What do you aliens do all day? Look for dead celebrities?

ALF: I'm so tired of that stereotype.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 3: Suspicious Minds
Tagged: Aliens, dead celebrities, stereotypes
“Either he's Elvis, or Priscilla had a heck of a lawn sale.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 3: Suspicious Minds
Tagged: Elvis Presley, priscilla presley, yard sale
“Willie Tanner: ALF!

Flakey Pete: [walks into the kitchen] Oh. Hi Willie.

Willie Tanner: Where is he?

Flakey Pete: Who? Your little alien guy?

Willie Tanner: If anything... anything has happened to him, you're gonna be...

ALF: Hey. Willie.

Willie Tanner: ALF!

ALF: Willie!

Willie Tanner: ALF!

ALF: Willie!

Brian Tanner: ALF!

ALF: Willie!

Lynn Tanner: ALF!

ALF: Willie!

Kate Tanner: ALF!

ALF: Willie?”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 3: Turkey in the Straw
Tagged: greetings, Mistaken Identity
“Why are you so intent on moving out of a house that you like, in order for you to continue to do a job you don't like?”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 2: Movin' Out
Tagged: Bad decisions, House, Job
“ALF: Ignorance is no excuse.

Kate Tanner: Ignorance is your excuse all the time!

ALF: I don't know what you are talking about.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 2: You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog
Tagged: Ignorance, feigning ignorance
“Let's go to dinner. Don't worry—tab's on me. Though I'm not paying for Brian's invisible friend.”
— Uncle Albert, ALF, Season 2: We're So Sorry, Uncle Albert
Tagged: Dinner, pick up the tab
“Kate Tanner: [after ALF claims that according to a magazine article, he is a thrill-seeker] This from the same person who watched the movie Aliens from under the couch?

ALF: Hey, I thought I owed one of those guys money.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 2: Night Train
Tagged: thrill-seeker, Mob
“Why must you needlessly complicate everything?”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 2: Night Train
Tagged: Complication
“Let me just try to understand, ALF. The operative word in People Log is 'people'... one of which you are... not... one. That's cruel. Not to mention poorly constructed from a grammatical standpoint.”
— Willie Tanner, ALF, Season 2: Prime Time
Tagged: People, Bad Grammar, cruel
“There are many things in this universe you're not meant to understand. Now, that doesn't mean they're not real. I'm real, and whether other people believe you or not, you know I'm real.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 2: Take a Look at Me Now
Tagged: amusing, real, Unreal
“ ALF, if you let us get some sleep I promise you will get back to this Gilligan's Island business first thing in the morning. and maybe just maybe we will build you a little lagoon all of your own.”
— Willie Tanner, ALF, Season 2: Somewhere Over the Rerun
Tagged: Gilligan's Island, Sleep, Lagoon
“Are you kidding? why we'd be out of here in a minute if smarty pants could get off this rock.”
— Skipper Jonas Grumby, ALF, Season 2: Somewhere Over the Rerun
Tagged: Gilligan's Island
“Aren't you guys happy? You are here on Gilligan’s island?”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 2: Somewhere Over the Rerun
Tagged: Gilligan's Island
“I wish you would stop calling me little buddy; I’m in my 40s for, crying out loud.”
— Gilligan, ALF, Season 2: Somewhere Over the Rerun
Tagged: Gilligan's Island, Little Buddy
“Oh heck, why must I be so darn curious?”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 1: Lookin' Through the Windows
Tagged: curious
“Willie: I was going down Fifth Street Road, and instead of taking a left I took a right...

ALF: I thought you couldn't turn right down that road, it's a one-way street.

Willie: ALF, what difference does it make to you?

ALF: What difference does it make? HAH! I'm not driving with you anymore!”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 1: Border Song
Tagged: Driving, Directions
“Willie: What are you playing?

ALF: [at a video game] Space Invaders.

Willie: What do they do? Live in your garage, eat all your food, dig up your back yard?

ALF: You're in a mood...

Willie: Yes, I am! Because I found my good hoe, in THIS condition!

[holds up a pole with a bit of mangled scrap iron on one end]

ALF: Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was plowing up your yard and I hit a water main... Don't worry, it wasn't yours.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 1: Border Song
Tagged: Video Games, space invaders
“[ALF is discovered under Willie and Kate's bed]
Kate: ALF, what are you doing down there?

ALF: Trying to keep warm! The garage is FREEZING! I've been down here the last couple of nights!

Willie: [uneasy] Were you here, Sunday night?

ALF: [winks] Don't worry, I was sound asleep. Didn't hear a THING.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 1: Mother and Child Reunion
Tagged: Hiding, didn't hear a thing
“[looks through a Viewmaster] Oh, yeah, Sylvester and Tweety! [flips a lever] Yeah! Die, cat, die!”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 1: Oh, Tannerbaum
Tagged: Sylvester, Tweety Bird, cat hate
“Where do you keep your casserole dishes? The cat wont fit in the toaster.”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 1: On the Road Again
Tagged: cat hate
“ALF: Um, excuse me, sir. Can I have a word with you?

Andrew Seminick, Burglar: Who said that?

ALF: I did. Could you take some constructive criticism? What you're doing here is wrong.

Andrew Seminick, Burglar: [Looks at ALF with a flashlight] Heh heh. Must be one of them talking dolls.

ALF: Oh yeah? Ever had a talking doll rip out your voice box?

Andrew Seminick, Burglar: HUH? AAAUGH! [jumps out the bedroom window, scared]”
— ALF (voice), ALF, Season 1: Strangers in the Night
Tagged: Burglar, Intimidation

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This page was created by our editorial team. Each page is manually curated, researched, collected, and issued by our staff writers. Quotes contained on this page have been double checked for their citations, their accuracy and the impact it will have on our readers.

Kelly Peacock is an accomplished poet and social media expert based in Brooklyn, New York. Kelly has a Bachelor's degree in creative writing from Farieligh Dickinson University and has contributed to many literary and cultural publications. Kelly assists on a wide variety of quote inputting and social media functions for Quote Catalog. Visit her personal website here.

Kendra Syrdal is a writer, editor, partner, and senior publisher for The Thought & Expression Company. Over the last few years she has been personally responsible for writing, editing, and producing over 30+ million pageviews on Thought Catalog.