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Rainn Wilson Quotes

Total quotes: 21
“Who is Justice Beaver?”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 7: Todd Packer
Tagged: Justin Beiber, mistake, misworded
“Jim told me you could buy gay-dar online.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 3: Gay Witch Hunt
Tagged: Buy, gay-dar, gay radar, Online
“I never thought I'd say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 9: Finale
Tagged: Eating Too Much, Bone Marrow
“Powerpoints are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 8: Special Project
Tagged: Peacocks, Powerpoint Presentations
“It's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 4: Survivor Man
Tagged: hurt, accidentally, Stranger, purpose
“Pam Beesly: Dwight, am I hot right now?

Dwight Schrute: Why would I or anyone else think that you're hot right now? I can't impregnate you, and that's the driving force between male-female attraction.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 8: Pam's Replacement
Tagged: Hot, Attractive, Sex, Impregnate, Attraction, Rude
“Oscar Martinez: Don't you want to see the baby?

Dwight Schrute: Psh! Why? I know what Angela and the senator look like. I can mash that up in my head right now.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 8: Jury Duty
Tagged: Baby, humor, Genetics, Senator, Mash Up
“In the end, the greatest snowball isn't a snowball at all. It's fear. Merry Christmas.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 7: Classy Christmas
Tagged: Merry Christmas, Christmas, Fear
“Yes. I have decided to shun Andy Bernard for the next three years. Which I'm looking forward to. It's an Amish technique. It's like slapping someone with silence.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 3: Safety Training
Tagged: shun, Slapping, Silence, Amish, technique, Simile Examples
“The Civil War history industry has conveniently forgotten about the battle of Schrute Farms. Whatever. I'm over it. It's just grossly irresponsible.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 8: Gettysburg
Tagged: History, Civil War, irresponsible, erasure, Forgotten
“I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 3: Business School
Tagged: are vampires real, werewolves and vampires, mythical creatures
“You better learn your rules. If you don't, you'll be eaten in your sleep.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 5: The Duel
Tagged: Learn Your Rules, Nursery Rhymes
“Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 3: Product Recall
Tagged: Identity Theft
“Michael always says, 'K-I-S-S, keep it simple, stupid.' Great advice, hurts my feelings every time.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 3: Initiation
Tagged: Advice, hurts my feelings
“Deangelo Vickers: Dwight. What's your take?

Dwight Schrute: What's the argument here? NBA, WMBA. One is a sport, one is a joke. I love sports, I love jokes. Room for all.

Deangelo Vickers: Man, you're smart!”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 7: The Inner Circle
Tagged: Offensive, Sexist, Sports, joke, Smart, Rude
“Dwight Schrute: Most people don't even know that a candy cane represents a shepherd's crook. Which I assure you does not taste like peppermint. It tastes like sheep feces.

Oscar Martinez: How would anyone even know...

Dwight Schrute: Have you ever tasted a shepherd's crook?”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 9: Dwight Christmas
Tagged: Christmas, Candy Cane, candy, Sweets, feces, Shepherd, crook, taste, Gross
“I really like Andy these days. He's pretend, and he does exactly as I tell him to. All that will change when real Andy comes back tomorrow. Unless he comes back as pretend Dwight. In which case, we're in for an epic, confusing showdown.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 9: Couples Discount
Tagged: Pretend, Showdown, epic, Imagination, humor
“Growing up I performed my own circumcision.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 5: Baby Shower
Tagged: Circumcision
“At first I drove myself crazy thinking about the things I should have done differently. I never should have played that joke on Erin. I never should have hollowed out this damn pumpkin in the first place. Then I realized that I was being silly. I mean the pumpkin should rot off of my head in a month or two. Right?”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 9: Here Comes Treble
Tagged: Prank, pumpkin, Rot, joke, crazy, Failed Logic
“The eyes are the groin of the face.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 4: Branch Wars
Tagged: Body Parts
“Ryan: Did you see Saw?

Dwight: Of course I see-saw. Mose and I see-saw all the time.

Ryan: No, uh, the movie. Did you see, the movie Saw.

Dwight: Oh. Yeah. Great film. Almost as fun as going on a see-saw.”
— Dwight Schrute, The Office, Season 6: The Manager and the Salesman
Tagged: saw, Saw The Movie
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