Mike Baxter Quotes
Total quotes (24)
Total quotes (24)
Mike Baxter: Hey Kyle, do you have a man cave?
Kyle Anderson: My van. One place where people aren't all up in my business. You have no idea how tiring it is.'Kyle, do this.' 'Kyle, do that.' 'Kyle, for God's sake, get your act together.'
Mike Baxter: I don't do that.
Kyle Anderson: Your daughter does.
Mike Baxter: [after almost driving into a sinkhole] Oh, man! You good? It's all good. It's all good. Hold on a second. [puts car in reverse and pushes Boyd back into his seat] Get back in there. Sit back down. [after backing away from the sinkhole] Okay, listen, you sure you're all right?
Boyd Baxter: Yes, except for when you karate chopped me in the chest.
Vanessa Baxter: Boyd is learning Spanish at his new school.
Blanca: And I will say, with *that* they are doing a very good job.
Mike Baxter: Why are they teaching him Spanish in the first grade?
Vanessa Baxter: Well, honey, it's a bilingual school. The teacher says everything in English and then says it again in Spanish.
Mike Baxter: So you work twice as hard to learn half as much.
Vanessa Baxter: Or they are learning twice as much because they're learning another language.
Mike Baxter: How do they even understand 'twice as much' if there's no time for math?
Mike Baxter: These kids are into big government. No surprise. Teenagers are used to spending other people's money.
Ed Alzate: What do kids that age know? They're just parroting the stuff they learned at home, just like Eve probably does with you.
Mike Baxter: No, no, no, no. Eve's different. She's an independent thinker. She comes to her own conclusions... that everything I say is right.
Vanessa Baxter: That cop pulled me over today and gave me a ticket.
Mike Baxter: I told ya to stay off Cedar, babe.
Vanessa Baxter: No, he's movin' around. He was on Hudson, today.
Mike Baxter: Hudson? That's under construction. Double the fine. Smart cop.
Vanessa Baxter: Oh, I don't care about the fine...
Mike Baxter: I care about the fine.
Vanessa Baxter: It's just...I've always been able to... you know...[tosses her hair]
Mike Baxter: Come on, honey, with your knockers, you go with the hair?