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Keenen Ivory Wayans Quotes

Total quotes: 13
“Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson] Sweetie! You’ve got to slow up with those cosmos!

Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson] Tee-hee! Oh, fine.”
— Marcus Copeland, White Chicks
Tagged: Drag
“These starving kids in Africa make me so sad. They don’t even have to try to be skinny.”
— Heather Vandergeld, White Chicks
Tagged: Starving Kids Africa
“Take good care of him, oh, and teach him how to say ‘Yo quiero Taco Bell.’ Kay?”
— Marcus Copeland, White Chicks
Tagged: Taco Bell
“I am so...frick-in’...pissed.”
— Tiffany Wilson, White Chicks
Tagged: Pissed, frickin
“I don’t see why I gotta go out with Buffy the White Girl Slayer.”
— Marcus Copeland, White Chicks
Tagged: Buffy The Vampire Slayer, White Girls, Anti-White
“Kevin Copeland: [chasing and tackling Purse Snatcher] Gimme that.

Purse Snatcher: Jesus, lady! All this for just a handbag?

Kevin Copeland: It’s not ‘just’ a handbag. It’s Prada.”
— Kevin Copeland, White Chicks
Tagged: Handbag, prada, Purse Snatching
“Hi, I’m Cellulite Sally; look at my huge ba-donkey. Don’t forget about me, I’m Backfat Betty. Now who could have said that? Oh yeah, it’s Tina the Talking Tummy. [cries] I can’t even wear a short skirt and a top without looking like a fat pig.”
— Lisa Anderson, White Chicks
Tagged: cellulite, back fat, Pig
“Marcus Copeland: [Marcus emerges from the boot of the car, covered in the Wilson Sisters’ luggage] Man! You guys sure got a lot of bags for a weekend!

Brittany Wilson: [scoffs] This isn’t a weekend!

Tiffany Wilson: It’s the weekend!

Brittany Wilson: Labor Day in The Hamptons. The last weekend of the social season. Like, only the hottest people are going to be there.

Tiffany Wilson: And only the hottest of the hottest are going to make it onto the cover of ‘Hamptons Magazine’! And this is our year!

Brittany Wilson: [squeals] Yay!

[to Kevin, driving the car]

Brittany Wilson: Uh, open the window. Baby likes a little fresh breeze.

[Kevin opens the window]

Brittany Wilson: I just hope the Vandergeld Sisters’ private jet crashes on the way there!

Tiffany Wilson: [shocked] Oh, my God, Brittany!

Brittany Wilson: [to Tiffany] You were thinking it!

Tiffany Wilson: [to Brittany] I know, but you sai* it!

Brittany Wilson: I know, I know!

Tiffany Wilson: And you, know, Heather totally hates you because you slept with her boyfriend.

Brittany Wilson: Oh, my God! So what? I sleep with *everyone’s* boyfriend.”
— Tiffany Wilson, White Chicks
Tagged: Hamptons, labor day, Private Jet, Cheating
“Tiffany Wilson: [Tiffany is reading the Hamptons newspaper and sees a picture of them in the paper] Oh my God! Brittany?

Brittany Wilson: What?

Tiffany Wilson: [shows Brittany the picture] We’re on page 6!

Brittany Wilson: No!

Tiffany Wilson: Yeah!

Brittany Wilson: No!

Tiffany Wilson: Yeah!

Brittany Wilson: NO!

Tiffany Wilson: Yeah! Look! [shows her the article] ‘Wilson Sisters Rock Hamptons’!

Brittany Wilson: [both girls gasp and erupt into screams] Wilsons rock! We rock!

Tiffany Wilson: [squealing] Yes!

Brittany Wilson: [realizing that they weren’t actually at the Hamptons, but were in the hotel room in New York the entire time] Wait...we weren’t in the Hamptons this weekend!

Brittany Wilson, Tiffany Wilson: [gasping]

[in unison]

Brittany Wilson, Tiffany Wilson: Oh no!

[looking at the screen]

Brittany Wilson, Tiffany Wilson: We’ve been cloned!”
— Tiffany Wilson, White Chicks
Tagged: Hamptons, Cloning
“Kevin Copeland: [as Brittney Wilson]

[Brittney comes the dressing room with an outfit]

Kevin Copeland: How about this?

Lisa: [Sobbing] You bitch, that’s so terrible!

Kevin Copeland: [as Brittney Wilson] OK I’m going to go get help OK, you need professional help.

Lisa: [Sobbing] OK! OK!

Kevin Copeland: [as Brittney Wilson] Dr. Phil.”
— Kevin Copeland, White Chicks
Tagged: Bitch, Professional Help, Dr. Phil
“Kevin Copeland: I’m gonna have a BF!

Marcus Copeland: Oh, my God, she’s gonna have a bitch fit!

Hotel Clerk: No, don’t d-d-d-don’t have a, a, a BF now.

Kevin Copeland: I wanna speak to your supervisor! Better yet, I’m gonna write a letter!

Marcus Copeland: You are in big trouble!

Kevin Copeland: Dear Mister Royal Hampton. I am a white woman, in America.”
— Kevin Copeland, White Chicks
Tagged: BF, Bitch Fit, White Woman, America
“Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson] Brittany and Tiffany Wilson, checking in!

[slams into postcard and knickknack holder, scattering items *loudly* across reception desk with his fake breasts]

Kevin Copeland: Sorry, um, they’re new. Dr. Dorfman did an amazing job.

Marcus Copeland: [as Tiffany Wilson, squeezing Brittany’s fake breasts] Feels so real.”
— Kevin Copeland, White Chicks
Tagged: Breast Implants
“Megan Vandergeld: [realizing her father’s hostage kidnapping plot, and he is the kidnapper] Daddy! Why are you doing this?

Kevin Copeland: [as Brittany Wilson, but in his regular voice] Daddy didn’t tell you? He’s broke!

Heather Vandergeld: [confused] What do you mean ‘broke’? Like, Martha Stewart ‘broke’? Or MC Hammer ‘broke’?

Warren Vandergeld: MC Hammer broke!

Megan Vandergeld, Heather Vandergeld: [the Vandergelds wail and cry] NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
— Heather Vandergeld, White Chicks
Tagged: broke, MC Hammer, Martha Stewart
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