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Amy Sherman-Palladino Quotes

Total quotes: 116
“Life isn’t fair. It’s hard and cruel. You have to pick your friends as if there’s a war going on.”
— Abe Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Life Is Not Fair, Cliches, Expansions, Fairness, Life Is Tough, Friendship
“You go explain Yom Kippur to gentiles. We’re happy, but we’re starving. It’s New Years, but we’re guilty.”
— Moishe Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Ya Shivu v Bolshom Dome Na Kholme
Tagged: Jewish Holidays, explanation, Happy, starving
“I’m officially losing my mind, which is perfect. Now I will be alone and crazy, the famous mad divorcée of the upper West Side.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: losing my mind, Divorce, Upper West Side, Perfect, crazy
“To be truly effective, you must be ugly.”
— Abe Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: The Disappointment of the Dionne Quintuplets
Tagged: ugly, Being Ugly, How To Be Effective, The Problem With Being Beautiful
“The first time I laid eyes on you, that was it for me.”
— Joel Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Thank You and Good Night
Tagged: Cute Things To Say To Her, Cute Things to Say, What To Text Her, Love at First Sight, Femme Fatale
“Tonight just for tonight I really need to be with someone who loves me.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 2: All Alone
“Oh! Dinner with Rory! How delightful! Well, spit-spot. Alert the corgis.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 6: Friday Night's Alright for Fighting
Tagged: Welsh Corgis, Dinner, Delightful
“Can't you recognize a complete psychotic break when you see one? ”
— Rose Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: Psychotic, crazy, Emotional Break Down
“You know, some people say drinking coffee at night hinders your sleep.”
— Rory Gilmore,
Tagged: Coffee, Coffee Lover, Sleep
“My mother is fast asleep in my bed, clutching my Hello Kitty pillow, and yes, I have pictures.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Wedding Bell Blues
Tagged: hello kitty, mother, Sleeping, Pictures
“So not only did you go to a cop-raided party, but you started the raid? [Then she proceeds to sing, 'Did You Ever Know That You're My Hero?']”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: Say Goodnight, Gracie
Tagged: Cops, party, did you ever know that you're my hero?
“If women don’t realize what’s going on in the world, they won’t step in and fix it.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: The Disappointment of the Dionne Quintuplets
Tagged: Woman, feminism
“I don’t have my apartment anymore. You have my apartment. You have a lot of my things, actually. You’re welcome.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: The Disappointment of the Dionne Quintuplets
Tagged: apartment, Sassy, You're Welcome, Things
“You know, what do leprechauns and guys with big dicks have in common? They’re hard to find and incredibly lucky.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Strike Up the Band
Tagged: joke, Lucky, comedy
“Oh, now Shy, you never ask a girl 'How old are you?' or 'How much do you weigh?' or 'Do you love your ex-husband?'”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Kind of Bleu
Tagged: Questions, Weight, Love, Ex-Husband
“Abe: This has been the longest month of my life.

Rose: We’ve been here a week.”
— Abe Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Hands!
Tagged: month, Life, week, Time
“Seventy-five thousand dollars? Oh my God, that’s like 150 pairs of Jimmy Choos.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: Happy Birthday, Baby
Tagged: Jimmy Choo
“There have been very few moments in my life where I have actually wished I had one of those enormous crème pies you can just smash in somebody's face. But this is definitely one of them.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 2: Nick & Nora/Sid & Nancy
Tagged: Pie, pie throwing
“The last time I had to track someone down was to tell Desi Arnaz he gave me the clap.”
— Joel Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Strike Up the Band
Tagged: Track, disease, Desi Arnaz
“Midge: I am not a prostitute. I’m a comic.

Rose: Is there a difference? 
 
Midge: Yes, prostitutes get paid more.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Strike Up the Band
Tagged: Prostitue, Money, salary, comic
“Midge: You're still staring. 

Lenny: So are you.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: staring, Love, romance
“Midge: I think I'd like being famous.

Shy: I think you're gonna find out.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Kind of Bleu
Tagged: Famous, Future, Talent
“Because, really, if there’s no loyalty, whats the point of a partnership?”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's the Sixties, Man!
Tagged: loyal, Partner, Partnership
“Susie: Get back on that horse.

Midge: The horse can go to hell.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Panty Pose
Tagged: Sassy, expression, Try Again
“Revenge. I want it. Oh, do I want it. I need it. I crave it. I am completely consumed by the need for it. Revenge.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 4: Rumble on the Wonder Wheel
Tagged: Revenge, crave, Need, Want
“Shit happens. You should be a bigger man and just let it go. Well, I'm a woman, so fuck that.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 4: Rumble on the Wonder Wheel
Tagged: Life, Let It Go, Woman
“To Jackie. A man who didn't suffer fools gladly and thought everyone was a fool.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 4: Everything is Bellmore
Tagged: Cheers, In memory, Fool
“Cheeseburger, onion rings, and a list of people who killed their parents and got away with it. I’m looking for heroes.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 4: An Affair to Remember
Tagged: cheeseburger, onion rings, Parricide, Heroes
“I love pudding. I worship it. I have a bowl up on the mantel at home with the Virgin Mary, a glass of wine, and a dollar bill next to it.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 1: Rory's Birthday Parties
Tagged: Pudding, Wine, worship, virgin mary
“We need you to look at Kirk's butt. He ran into some rose bushes, and he's got some thorns stuck in it, and I thought of you.”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 5: Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller
Tagged: butt, thorn bushes
“You meet a girl. Maybe she's pretty, maybe she's smart, maybe she's funny. Maybe your parents like her. Maybe you get really lucky, and she's one or two of those things. I got them all with you.”
— Joel Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Thank You and Good Night
Tagged: Wedding Vows, I Love You
“If you're going to have a voice, you'd better be careful what that voice says.”
— Abe Weinberg, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Marvelous Radio
Tagged: Advice, voice, Opinion, Careful
“You'll always be in love with her. You won't let anything bad happen to her, ever.”
— Susie Myerson, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: A Jewish Girl Walks Into the Apollo…
Tagged: Love, Protect, Always
“Remember you’re not trying to fix anything. You’re just trying to be heard.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Hands!
Tagged: Heard, Jokes about complaining , Fix
“Lenny: Hey. Maybe someday. Before I'm dead.

Midge: It's a date.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: It's Comedy or Cabbage
Tagged: Date, romance, sweet
“Okay, if there's one thing a Jewish girl knows, it's when to see a doctor.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Kind of Bleu
Tagged: doctor, Jewish Girl , Knowledge
“Joel: What time is it?

Midge: Kill me o’clock.”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 3: Hands!
Tagged: Time, play on words, Sassy
“Oh, I’m going to have to lie to the rabbi about why Joel’s not there. Lying to the rabbi on Yom Kippur! I couldn’t get a clean slate for one fucking day”
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Lie, rabbi, Clean Slate, upset
“All that shit they say about Jewish girls in the bedroom? Not true. There are French whores standing around the Marais District saying [French accent], “Did you hear what Midge did to Joel’s balls the other night?””
— Miriam “Midge” Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Season 1: Pilot
Tagged: Sex, not true, french accent
“My life stinks. Hey, let’s look into each other’s eyes and say 'I wish I were you' at exactly the same time — maybe we’ll pull a 'Freaky Friday.'”
— Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls, Season 3: Haunted Leg
Tagged: life stinks, Freaky Friday
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