Mélanie Berliet Avatar

Mélanie Berliet

6,037 Quotes
I like to write, yo.
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6,037 quotes curated by Mélanie Berliet:

“Trump's demands of a running mate:

Slays mad puss.
Can beat up hippies.
Does both while singing "God Bless the USA.”
— Kelly Oxford
Tagged: Election 2016 Jokes, Donald Trump Jokes
“Have a new housekeeper coming over today; just finished cleaning the whole house for her.”
— Kelly Oxford
Tagged: Haha, Funny Quotes, Housekeeper, Cleaning Homes, I Thought I Was The Only One Who Did This, Funny Tweets
“If I could have any superpower, I'd want to be able to whisper to someone: Your opinion is wrong and bad! and have them internalize it.”
— Josh Gondelman
Tagged: Funny Quotes, Best Jokes, Supowers
“The key to success in life is to work hard, set goals, and have access to a powerful magic spellbook.”
— wolf pup
Tagged: Funny Quotes, Best Jokes, Funny Jokes, Success Jokes
“I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but it doesn't matter, none of them work.”
— OhSureYouDo, I have a few jokes about unemployed people • /r/Punny
Tagged: Punny Jokes, Puns, Amazing Puns, Jokes, Unemployed People Jokes
“Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.”
— Unknown, E-Mail Humor
Tagged: Funny Quotes, Jokes, Best Jokes, Makes You Think Jokes, Night Jokes, Day
“Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.”
— Wes Bergmann
Tagged: Elevator Jokes, Sex, Amazing Puns, Greatest Puns, Best Puns of All Time, Puns, Funny Quotes, Elevator Sex
“A day without sunshine is like, well, night.”
— Unknown, E-Mail Humor
Tagged: Funny Quotes, Jokes, Best Jokes, Makes You Think Jokes, Night Jokes, Day
“Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”
— Unknown, E-Mail Humor
Tagged: Funny Quotes, Jokes, Best Jokes, Makes You Think Jokes
“Why is abbreviation such a long word?”
— Unkown, Why!?
Tagged: Funny Quotes, For Real Tho Why