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All Quotes tagged Smoking(38)

Smoking is gonna save lives.

— Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), The Office, Season 5: Stress Relief

smoking Fire Drill

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Ethel: How long have you been a smoker?

Margot: 22 years.

Ethel: Well, I think you should quit.

— Margot Tenenbaum (Gwyneth Paltrow), The Royal Tenenbaums

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Bill Tench: Smoke?

Holden Ford: Oh, uh I don't smoke when I eat.

Bill Tench: Want to go outside?

Holden Ford: I don't smoke when I don't eat, either.

— Bill Tench (Holt McCallany), Mindhunter, Season 1: Episode 1

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Derice Bannock: [Derice sees Sanka's breath in the cold Calgary air] Sanka mon, whatcha smoking?

Sanka Coffie: I'm not smoking, I'm breathing!

— Derice Bannock (Leon), Cool Runnings

smoking condensation Calgary

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Samantha: No smoking in bars? What's next, no fucking in bars?

Miranda: Well, first there would have to be a no-fucking section.

— Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon), Sex and the City, Season 6: To Market, to Market

smoking bars Sex section

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Have you been smoking one of your ponchos?

— Amanda Tanen (Becki Newton), Ugly Betty, Season 1: Fey's Sleigh Ride

smoking ponchos Questions

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f there's one thing working in witness protection has taught me it's that people hate change. Oh, we all say we want to change; get thinner, quit smoking, learn to speak Portuguese, but we don't. For better or worse, our habits define us. We turn the pages of the same tattered script over and over, clinging to our well rehearsed routines like barnacles, and nothing rankles us more than having to learn new lines.

— Mary Shannon (Mary McCormack), In Plain Sight, Season 1: Who Shot Jay Arnstein?

witness protection Change thin smoking habits Define Simile Examples barnacles

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Stan: Damn it, Roger! I've told you a million times: No smoking in the house!

Roger: And I told you it's menthol. So it's healthier than an apple.

— Stan Smith (voice) (Seth MacFarlane), American Dad!, Season 2: Not Particularly Desperate Housewives

smoking healthy Apple Menthol

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Funny. ‘Cause I look around at this world you’re so eager to be a part of, and all I see is six billion lunatics looking for the fastest ride out. Who’s not crazy? Look around. Everyone’s drinking, smoking, shooting up, shooting each other, or just plain screwing their brains out ‘cause they don’t want ‘em anymore. I’m crazy? Honey, I’m the original one-eyed Chiclet in the kingdom of the blind. ‘Cause at least I admit the world makes me nuts.

— Glory (Clare Kramer), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 5: The Weight of the World

crazy Drinking smoking Shooting Up screwing Chiclet

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You're a woman and you smoke. What do YOU want?

— Ted Chaough (Kevin Rahm), Mad Men, Season 5: The Phantom

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As adults we try to relax from the never-ending quest for reason and order by drinking a little whiskey or smoking whatever works for us, but the wisdom isn't in the whiskey or the smoke. The wisdom is in the moments when the madness slips away and we remember the basics.

— Willie Nelson, The Tao of Willie: A Guide to the Happiness in Your Heart

Whiskey smoking Relaxation Wisdom Madness

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I had gotten up to two, maybe three, packs (of cigarettes) a day. And my lungs were bothering me and I'd had pneumonia two or three times. And I was also smoking pot, and I decided, well, one of them's got to go. And so I took a pack of Chesterfields and took all the Chesterfields out, rolled up 20 big fat ones and put it in there, and I haven't smoked a cigarette since then.

— Willie Nelson, via en.wikiquote.org

Cigarettes smoking Addiction Chesterfields Smoking Pot

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In church I was told that if I so much as smoked a cigarette or tasted alcohol, I’d be damned in hell for all eternity…it didn’t take long for me to start thinking that sounded all wrong….I didn’t cotton to the idea that your religion should be flaunted to other people. Your religion is for you, and is best kept close to your heart.

— Willie Nelson, via en.wikiquote.org

Church smoking Drinking Cigarettes Alcohol Sin Religion

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I'm smoking dope till I exhaust.

— Famous Dex, Drip From My Walk (Drip From My Walk)

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Did you hear about the cop that was fired for smoking weed and masturbating in his patrol car? Evidently he was a high wanking officer.

— iAmWillyAmm, Did you hear about the cop that was fired for smoking weed and masturbating in his patrol car?

smoking high officer

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How did you quit smoking? I decided to start smoking only after sex.

— FOXTERAM, How did you quit smoking?

smoking Sex Quit

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Rugged? The man's a goblin. He's only been exposed to smoke for four days. By the time this case gets to trial, he’ll be nothing more than a shrunken head.

— Jackie Chiles (Phil Morris), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Abstinence

Rugged Goblins smoking Lawsuits Tobacco

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Miss Wilkie, your tobacco company has turned this beautiful specimen into a horrible, twisted freak.

— Jackie Chiles (Phil Morris), Seinfeld, Season 8: The Abstinence

smoking Lawyers Lawsuits Freaks Hyperbole

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Everyone smokes. You're only a rebel if you don't.

— Kyle (C.J. Berdahl), Shameless, Season 3: May I Trim Your Hedges?

smoking Cigarettes Anti-Conformist

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We should legalize drugs the same way we legalize alcohol and smoking, and then let those people have to deal with the consequences of their actions. But you can't prohibit it—it doesn't work, it didn't work in the twenties, it doesn't work today.

— Al Goldstein, via jimgoad.net

Drug Legalization Alcohol smoking Prohibition

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I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: 'Oh well,' and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

— Benny Hill, Stop Smoking

smoking Cigarettes Dating humor

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Can I smoke now without someone taking my picture?

— Hank Aaron, via www.baseball-almanac.com

smoking Fame Fans Picture Taking

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Two men having a chat.
There was two men one smoked 2 packs a day for the last 20 years. The other never smoked a day in his life. The non smoker tells the smoker that if he didn't smoke he could've saved around $115,000! Enough to buy a Lamborghini!
The man takes a long drag from his cigarette. And asks. Do you smoke? The non smoker says no. The smoker says, then wheres your fucking Lamborghini?

— googgles, Two men having a chat

smoking Lamborghini

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Your eyes look red." said the cop. "Have you been smoking weed? Your eyes look glazed." I replied. "Have you been eating donuts?"

— madazzahatter, "Your eyes look red." said the cop. "Have you been smoking weed?"

cop smoking glazed Donuts

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I know I’m not supposed to say this<br />
but the smell of tobacco on you<br />
does things to me<br />
I would not want my mom —<br />
or the Surgeon General<br />
to know. — Chrissy Stockton

I know I’m not supposed to say this
but the smell of tobacco on you
does things to me
I would not want my mom —
or the Surgeon General
to know.

— Chrissy Stockton, We Are All Just A Collection Of Cords

In love smoking Smell Of Love

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College is the best thing that can ever happen to you," my father used to say, and he was right, for it was there that I discovered drugs, drinking, and smoking..

— David Sedaris, Naked

College Discoveries Drugs Alcohol smoking

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Under my doctor's advice, I am now healthily smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day.
He told me smoking just 1 pack a day would kill me

— JokeJedi, Under my doctor's advice, I am now healthily smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day.

doctor Patient smoking

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Quitting smoking is the easiest thing ever
I've done it a thousand times.

— warrioguythi, Quitting smoking is the easiest thing ever

smoking Quitting

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After seeing the Anti-Smoking campaign, I don't smoke anymore. But I don't smoke any less, either.

— guishark09, After seeing the Anti-Smoking campaign, I don't smoke anymore.

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I'm always very honest with the people I photograph. I open up a lot and tell people about my own experiences and answer their questions honestly. I'm asking my subjects for something, so I want to give something in return.

— Naomi Harris, Snap judgements: Seven great photographers talk about their craft

Photography Art Dealing With Photographic Subjects

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I think art history is crucial for anyone in the visual arts. You have to understand how ideas evolve.

— David LaChapelle, Snap judgements: Seven great photographers talk about their craft

Art History Photography

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Every time I see an old person smoking I smile thinking like, hell yeah, fuck death.

— Michael Timlin, via twitter.com

smoking Old People

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Quit smoking! Um, you should already know this by now. But in case you and/or your guy needed one more reason to quit, lighting up is dark news in the bedroom.

— Gena Kaufman, How to Make Sex Last Longer If Your Guy Is a Quick Finisher

Last Longer In Bed smoking Cigarettes

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John: 'Do you have to smoke so much? It's just so bad for you.'

Charlotte: 'I'll stop later.'

— John, Lost in Translation

smoking Bad Habits

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Smoking marijuana, eating cheetos, and masturbating do not constitute plans in my book.

— Walter White, Breaking Bad, Season 2: 4 Days Out

smoking pot eating masturbating

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Just 62 days out from the election, and 135 days until Obama resumes smoking in public.

— Stephen Colbert, via Twitter

Election President Obama smoking

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I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. I have no other restriction as regards smoking.

— Mark Twain, The Autobiography of Mark Twain

cigar smoking humor Irony Sarcasm rule Law Life Vices Vice

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