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Quotes tagged “Cigarettes”
John: That's lite beer.
Grandpa: Gee, I weigh ninety goddamn pounds, and you bring me this sloppin' foam?
John: Ariel's got me on a diet because the doc said my cholesterol's a little too high.
Grandpa: Well let me tell you something now, Johnny. Last Thursday, I turned 95 years old. And I never exercised a day in my life. Every morning, I wake up, and I smoke a cigarette. And then I eat five strips of bacon. And for lunch, I eat a bacon sandwich. And for a midday snack?
Grandpa: Bacon! A whole damn plate! And I usually drink my dinner. Now according to all of them flat-belly experts, I should've took a dirt nap like thirty years ago. But each year comes and goes, and I'm still here. Ha! And they keep dyin'. You know? Sometimes I wonder if God forgot about me. Just goes to show you, huh?
John: Goes to show you what?
Grandpa: Well it just goes... what the hell are you talkin' about?
John: Well you said you drink beer, you eat bacon and you smoke cigarettes, and you outlive most of the experts.
John: I thought maybe there was a moral.
Grandpa: No, there ain't no moral. I just like that story. That's all. Like that story.”
Liz: Oh maybe you should do me, I’ll only muck it up if I have to do myself. [Shaun mimes shooting Liz and then himself, to see how it feels]
Shaun: You know, I don’t think I’ve got it in me to shoot my flatmate, my mum, and my girlfriend all in the same night.
Liz: [pauses] What makes you think I’d have taken you back?
Shaun: Well...you don’t want to die single, do you?
Ed: [interrupting] That’s it. I would like to be shot.
Shaun: Besides, I’ve changed. I haven’t had a fag since yesterday, I promise!
Ed: He hasn’t.”
Sal: I don't want the cancer.”
Adam: No, thank you.
Char Man: I'm trying to cut down myself.”
Max: No thanks, I don't smoke.
Ernie 'Ice': They're very health-conscious in Los Angeles. [Jay and Ice laugh]
Jay: You got any cash, Hollywood?
Ernie 'Ice': Gee, we don't get any smokes from you. We don't get any cash. What am I supposed to do with my afternoon?
Max: Maybe you could learn to breathe through your nose. [Jay laughs but stops as Ice offensively glares at him]
Jay: Whoa. Check out the new cross-trainers.
Ernie 'Ice': [looks at Max's sneakers] Cool. [turns to Max] Let me try them on. [Max tries to leave, Jay stops him and smiles]
Jay: Later, dude!
Ernie 'Ice': See you, Hollywood! [Jay and Ernie laughing]”
Laura: Only felt my heart beat one time since I died. When I kissed Shadow.
Mad Sweeney: That doesn't obligate him to feel shit. You're so worried about being alive, but to him you're already dead. Wait, you kissed him?
Laura: Yeah I just said I kissed him.
Mad Sweeney: Put your tongue in his mouth?
Laura: Just the tip.
Mad Sweeney: Was it cold and dry?
Mad Sweeney: Did it taste like cigarettes and vomit?
Laura: I have been smoking... Perhaps I misjudged the kiss. Probably should've had some gum or a mint.”
Cartman: Hey! I didn't get a gun! [Jimbo gives a rifle to Cartman] Sweet. This is like the gun I used in 'Nam.
Stan: You weren't in Vietnam, Cartman!
Ned: Were you stationed in DA Nang?
Stan: Cartman always makes stuff up, Ned, you can't believe anything he says.
Cartman: Hey! I'll blow your frigging head off!
Jimbo: Hey, look out, son, that's dangerous! You're gonna spill your beer!”
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